Here Comes Goodbye

What’s the difference between us? There isn’t one, if you look at us and you take the basic components of us, we are the same, human, we have blood run through our veins, but if you look into my eyes you will see that I’m not all I seem to be.

Yet, like you, I bleed, I love, I cry, and I fight.

But unlike you, I lost, I loved, I bled and died.

Until I met him, I knew nothing of love but I lost him one day, I decided to walk away and he is what I wanted but I couldn’t. I took my son and started to live my life, hidden away from all I knew.

Now I’m alone in a hospital bed, the love of my life taking care of my most prized possession and all I’m doing is writing a blog. Because it’s the only thing that gave me solace and that was writing.

I don’t care if no one reads it, I don’t care if no one cares.

He used to care, he used to love me.

But I destroyed that I destroyed everything we had.

So I’m sitting in a hospital bed imagining how things would be different.

Jo closed the browser and rested her eyes, a pick line ran through her arm and it was hurting her. Who knew she would be in the same position her mom had been. Screaming for meds and yelling at everyone, telling everyone they need to get laid.

She hated herself when she started rambling but when she awoke she always apologized. Roxy or Steph were usually by her side. And she sent them away every time. Knowing the energy it took to watch someone die.

Her computer chimed in and caught her attention. It was 3 a.m. who could it be. Then she saw she had received a message from her blog site. Someone had commented.

He must have been someone special for you to love him so much. You sound like you still care for him, why didn’t you tell him?

Jo sat thinking, why she didn’t tell Zacky what had been happening. She responded.

I was being selfish in a way, I wanted him to love me for me, not for the sick person I have become. It’s hard to explain, but he should realize I love him because I gave him our son. I kept our son even though I knew he didn’t love me.

She sent it before she would change her mind. People always commented on her blogs but this time it was different. It was as if the person wasn’t trying to symphatize with her or try to make her feel better but actually get to know her. They responded right away.

Speaking for my kind, guys can be very dense at times. I don’t want to get into it but I was in love with a girl once.

Jo chuckled to herself, of course it was a guy who could sympatize with her. So she answered him back.

Please do tell.

She waited and checked out his profile, there wasn’t much on it. He was American, a single dad. Fiddled around on a guitar once in a while but his main priority was to raise his son after his mother abandoned them. Jo instantly felt sorry for him, being left with a child, what mother could do that.

Her computer told her, she received mail.

Dear Lost,

I’ve decided it is in our best interest to continue this conversation through emails instead of commenting on the blog. Some things sometimes are meant for two people to share not for the rest of the world.

You want to know about who I loved?

Where should I start? How she was the most beautiful woman in the room, how she made me and my friends come back to life? She was all those things but most importantly she was my best friend. I never thought we could grow apart. But now when I see her I feel such pain in my stomach I can’t think.

She’s become the complete opposite of who she used to be. She kept our child from me, and I can’t forgive her for that. She didn’t trust me or love me the way I loved her. But I can’t hate her, she gave me the most amazing little man anyone can ever wish for.

He has her smile and my eyes, he has her inquiry nature, which she fed. But she decided it was time for her to live her life. And I can’t blame her, I lived my life not knowing about our son, now it’s her turn.

I’ve said too much.

Why can’t you go back to him?

Sincearly GuitarHero