Here Comes Goodbye

Dear Lost,

I tried what you told me, to eat them myself and he took it, even though I had to eat peas which I despise I did it and he enjoyed it.

I think you should try it anyway, to see talk to him. Maybe you know things about him that no one knows and you can appeal to that side of him. A guy isn’t hard to understand, if he wants something he’ll go for it, if he doesn’t then well he’s not the one for you it’s time to move on, sort of thing.

If I knew where you were I’d bring you that cheeseburger with extra mayo.

Let me know how you’re doing,

GuitarHero

Jo closed the laptop and closed her eyes, the steady beep of the IV drip was driving her nuts, why couldn’t the air just slip past the machine and into her blood stream and she could just go quietly. She was tired, no not tired exhausted, and the only human contact she had lately when she was lucid was with a man on the internet.

She remembered her early twenties late teens when that’s all she did for days, just sit in front of her computer with no human touch, just her and the machines and whoever was on the other end of the keyboard, when she first decided to go back on the websites, she had kicked Roxy and Steph out of her hospital room.

Told them never to come back, she didn’t want them there anymore, not to fuss over her, or tell her they love her everytime they left just in case she wasn’t going to be around in the morning when they came back. It was bull shit. She wanted to die, wanted to move on, but she reached for the phone and dialled the number she had memorized.

“Hello,” she heard the voice on the other end and hung up. Tears fell down her cheeks she wanted him there with her, to hug her and tell her he loved her but she couldn’t do it, couldn’t ask him to give up his life for her, to drop everything in Huntington beach and come to Massachusetts, just for her.

Then the phone sliced through her thoughts and she cursed herself for not blocking the number, she coughed and picked up the phone hoping her voice wasn’t too rough. “Hello,” she said trying to sound as cheery as possible.

“Joana?” his voice still made her shiver, his lisp still made her ache for him.

“Yeah, sorry I called but my phone disconnected, I was going to call again,” she knew she was babbling she could hear herself babbling but couldn’t stop it, there was nothing she could do to stop it.

“Where are you? Where have you been?” he sounded worried, almost in tears.

“Oh you know, one party after another,” she coughed and took the towel next to her hand and brought it to her lips, the blood stain made her worry, she wanted to hang up the phone but his voice made her happy it calmed her down.

“You don’t sound so good,” he said.

“Well you know, roof top parties little to no clothing, will make anyone get sick, but I’ll be fine. How’s Jimmy Jam?” Jo asked the question she wanted to ask right away the only thing she knew he would answer for her.

“He’s good, started school, misses you like crazy, can’t stop asking about you, I couldn’t explain to him why you missed his birthday, he got the gift and loved it, no one is allowed to touch it,” his voice softened.

“Aww, my baby is growing up, how is everyone?” Jo switched the subject.

“They’re good, we’re going into the studio in a bit, making a new album,” he didn’t sound too happy about that, “When are you coming to see him,”

“Oh crap, sorry I gotta go my lover just woke up and he’s looking for me kiss Jimmy Jam for me, you know how it is, I just can’t get enough sex,” she hung up the phone and she frowned, had she really said that? Can’t get enough sex, who said something like that.

Zacky looked at the phone in his hand and shook his head, it had to have been the weirdest conversation he had ever had on the phone with anyone let alone with Jo, but at least she was alive not dead in some ditch.

“Daddy?” He heard James’ voice, and went in search of him.

“Yeah?” Zacky said when he saw him at the door.

“Was that mommy?”

“Yeah, she said she had to go but next time she calls she wants to talk to you,” Zacky said.

“Do you think you should get me a cell phone, just in case she calls and I’m not home,” James asked as Zacky picked him up and went with him in the kitchen.

“I think you’re too young for a phone buddy, but I’ll think about it,” he placed James on the counter, “Now what do you want for lunch?” he asked searching through the fridge. Thinking he was calling back tonight and having a talk with Joana, a very important talk.