My Number One Fan

The funeral was beautiful, even if it was the last place Jeff wanted to be. He arrived earlier than everyone besides Matt and Amanda, who offered to drive him and Kylie to the funeral home so he could make sure the arrangements were accurate. Jeff froze when he saw the casket at the front of the room. It was the exact one he had chose for her. He knew the pale green would enhance her natural beauty nicely.

Matt placed his hand on Jeff’s shoulder, knowing how much pain his younger brother was in right now. It was the same pain he was feeling right now. Jeff threw his head back and picked up the car seat with his daughter in it, walking up to the casket to see his wife’s sleeping form.

Even in death she had an undeniable radiance. A light shone from her face, which had a ghost of a smile formed around her lips. Her engagement ring glittered in the soft lights from her left hand. Jeff reached for the chain around his neck, feeling the cold metal of the band that completely the set in his fingers.

The make up artist did a perfect job with her make up. Using enough to make her look normal, but not too much to make it seem fake. She looked just as she had when he saw her before the crash. There were no scratches or cuts, nothing that would suggest the real reason she died. For all anyone knew, it could have been natural causes and not her getting crushed to death.

The dress Jeff chose himself. He knew it was her favorite when she wore them, so he went with it, and his breath hitched when he realized she was still as beautiful in it as she ever has been. The olive color blended with her skin, making it seem like an extra skin. Her hair was cascading around her in soft curls, her own natural curls.

Beside her head was a picture of Kylie and Jeff in the hospital. It was taken the day Kylie was able to go home, and Matt wanted the picture taken.

Kylie fussing made Jeff look down at the little baby, his heart swelling with love for her as he stared into her face. He bent to bring her out of her chair, making sure her blanket was wrapped around her to keep her warm and snug.

“That’s your mommy baby,” he said to her gently as she fussed more.

“She’s feeling how upset you are Jeff,” Mandy pointed out sadly. “She knows this place isn’t somewhere any of us wants to be, so she doesn’t want to be here.”

“I really wish we wasn’t here sweetheart,” Jeff muttered to the baby, his tears leaking from his eyes again. “If I could go back and prevent that from happening, I would in a heartbeat.”

“She’ll know that,” Matt said, watching his niece fuss in her father’s arms. “Give it time, she’ll understand what happened, and that if her mother had the choice, she would have stayed with her instead of leaving.”

“I know,” Jeff said with a sigh. The door opened and Paul and Marylyn walked into the room, followed by Mark, Sara, Gunner and Chasey.

“Where’s sissy?” Gunner asked his father, clinging to his hand.

“She’s in there,” Mark said, indicating the green box behind his son-in-law and granddaughter. “Well?” he asked, glancing toward where his daughter’s shell was laying.

“She’s beautiful Mark,” Jeff answered him. “Nothing would make you think of what happened to her.” Mark nodded and grabbed Sara’s hand, more for comfort and strength than anything, and walked up to the casket. His heart broke all over again as he saw that Jeff was telling the truth. She looked so peaceful, so at ease, that he felt guilty for wanting her back alive, back in pain and torment.

Before getting to the funeral home, he still didn’t want to believe this was happening, that he was getting ready to bury his first born child at such a young age. Standing there now, staring into his daughter’s lifeless face, it made it seem that much more real.

Other guests started arriving then, so they all separated themselves to let everyone have a final look at her. Jeff accepted many condolences from neighbors and friends. Many of his co-workers showed up as well. Ron Killings was one of the first to show up, since he didn’t live to far from the funeral home. Shane and Christy showed up not too long after. Christy was in tears the minute she looked at Jeff holding the baby. She gave him a hug, making sure not to squash Kylie, and pulled away as Shane did the same to him.

“How you holding up?” Shane asked his friend as he looked around the room.

“I’ll be better, in time,” Jeff replied with a shaky sigh. “It’s going to be a long time before I’m even a little over this.”

“Understandable,” Shane replied as Jeff felt a hand on his back. He looked back to see it was Oscar and Angie.

“Hey,” Angie said. “We’re so sorry Jeff, this is terrible.”

“Yeah it is, you know, if you ever need anything, we’re a call away.” Oscar added, rubbing his hand over Kylie’s head.

“I know, thanks guys.” Jeff replied. He looked up as four guys walked into the room, four guys he never expected to see again.

“Excuse me,” he said, walking up to his wife’s favorite band. “Shads, Zack, Brian, Johnny, what are you guys doing here?”

“Came to pay our respects,” the one Jeff remembered as Brian replied. “We know how tough it is to lose someone you care about.”

“Right, Jimmy wasn’t it?” They all nodded, looking around at everyone who was there already. “She sure was popular wasn’t she?”

“She was a sweet, caring person, a lot of people loved her.” Jeff agreed as he nodded toward Shawn and Rebecca, showing he noticed them arrive. Kylie started fussing then, so Jeff adjusted her to his other arm so he could look at his watch. “It’s time to feed her,” he said, walking toward the chair her diaper bag was on.

“Want me to do that for you?” Rebecca asked suddenly from behind him.

“I got it, thanks anyway though. I need to do this,” he said, adding the powder to the bottle already filled with water. When he put the bottle to the baby’s mouth, she started drinking at once.

“She’s a cutie,” Zack said, sitting next to him.

“That she is, she’ll be a heartbreaker that’s for sure.” Jeff agreed with a smile. He finished feeding the baby without anyone walking up to him. They must have sensed how much he needed this alone time with his daughter. When he realized that Kylie was asleep, Jeff decided to lay her in her car seat. There were more than enough people around who would watch her, Amanda would hover around her the entire time the kid would be passed out.

“Hey Jeff,” a voice said behind him. He turned to see it was Amy Dumas and Adam Copeland.

“Hey, didn’t think I would see you two here,” he said honestly, hugging Amy as Adam clapped his back.

“We’re really sorry this happened Jeff,” Adam said. “Kylie was an amazing woman and we could see how much you cared for her.”

“She was my life,” he admitted, staring at the casket before shaking his head. “Somehow, this is making it seem more real, and it’s taking away some of the pain. I don’t know how, but it is.”

“It’s closure,” Amy said with a shrug. “Almost like how Adam and I showed up to your wedding, it was closure for us and for you guys as well.”

“Once Riley was pissed though, she could go for a long time,” Adam laughed, remembering the feud Amy went through with Riley over Matt.

“Yeah, she was a hellion.” Jeff agreed. “I’m not gonna get over her, I don’t think I will be able to move on, even if I tried.”

“Now you think that, but just wait, someone will come around and make you weak all over again.” The rest of the showing went by fast. Sooner than he wanted to believe, Jeff was getting out of bed after another sleepless night to head back to the funeral home for the funeral service itself. There would be a brief time when people could see her again before sitting through the eulogy, then they would drive to the cemetery where Riley’s final resting place would be.

Towards the end of the service, the preacher stopped to ask if anyone would like to say a few words about Riley. Mark stood up at once, passing Jeff and running his finger over his granddaughter’s arm. Jeff bounced his knee slightly as the baby started fussing, calming her down at once.

“Riley was, as many of you know, my daughter. She was the light of my life, and everyone else she met in her 33 years. She touched the lives of so many, just by her crazy antics in the ring, doing exactly what I did, or what Jeff and Matt would do, and possibly doing it a lot better than us as well.” He paused to clear his throat as he felt it clogging again. He looked toward Jeff and Kylie. Jeff started messing with the baby’s blanket, giving himself something to do with his hands.

“Jeff, that little girl in your arms won’t go without knowing her mother. You’ll make damn sure she knows Riley, and so will I. Her body might be broken and asleep, but know this, this is her shell. The real Riley Michelle Hardy is up in heaven where she belongs. Pain free, worry free, she’s up there, watching over the two of you along with Ruby and Samantha. This a goodbye,” he looked toward everyone now. “This is just a ‘see you later.’” He nodded and stepped down, leaving many with tears rolling down their cheeks, even Dalip Singh was weeping, sitting in the very back beside Glenn Jacobs who was trying to discretely wipe tears from his own eyes.

“If everyone will now wait in the next room, we will prepare for the transportation to her final resting place.” The preacher said. Jeff stood up and placed Kylie in her car seat, making sure to cover her with the blanket to keep the sun from hurting her eyes to much.

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When they arrived at the cemetery, Jeff sat down next to Mark, Riley’s grandmother Alex was beside him with Walter, Riley’s grandfather. Kylie was in his arms again, so Alexandria took the time they were waiting to look over her great-granddaughter.

“May I?” she asked Jeff. He smiled and handed the baby to her, watching as she cooed over the little one.

“It should have been my life Jeff,” Walter said suddenly, looking toward his granddaughter’s husband. “It shouldn’t have been her, it should have been me. She basically gave me her life so I could keep mine. It shouldn’t have been this way.”

“She wanted you to live longer,” Jeff said as the undertakers, which consisted of Shawn, Paul L. Dalip, Oscar, Glenn, and Matt, brought the casket to the table in front of them. “She was that type of person, giving up her own life to let someone else keep theirs.”

“It shouldn’t have happened though,” Walter muttered as the preacher walked to the front. Matt stood behind Jeff’s chair, one hand on his brother’s shoulder and his other one wrapped around Amanda’s waist. There was another prayer said as Kylie whimpered. Jeff glanced over at her at once, seeing she was getting restless. Alexandria handed her back to him as he placed her pacifier in her mouth. She started settling down at once as the preacher finished the prayer.

“I believe we have a few more people who wants to speak on Riley’s behalf,” the preacher said as he left the podium. Amanda walked up then, Matt following close behind her.

“Riley came into my life when I was ten years old, she was seven at the time, and was trying to find her way in a cold, cruel world. The one thing I remember the most about that night, was how even though she was just abandoned, how she was left on the side of the road, the one thing she wanted to make sure happened was that she got where she was going. She wanted to make sure she met her uncle and aunt, and for the years after that, the one thing she wanted most in life was to meet her father.”

“She met him, and she was complete. Everything fell into place, and soon, her time with Jeff as more than friends came into play, and it was the happiest I have ever saw her.”

“She was the, strongest, gentlest person I’ve ever know, and even if it didn’t work out between her and my brother, she would forever be my sister.”

“I didn’t know Riley too long,” Amanda spoke up. “I met her through Matt while she and Jeff was dating. She quickly became my best friend. She was a sister to me as well, and I knew that if anything like this ever happened to her, then it would be a tragic loss for everyone.

"Riley was the type of person you could talk about anything too, and not have to worry about getting judged in the process. I love her and will miss her. Jeff, you take care of that little girl, and if you need help, let us know. We’ll do what we can.” Matt and Amanda both went back to their places, tears trailing down their eyes even faster.

“Jeff, you go up there and talk,” Mark said, nudging his son-in-law’s arm. Jeff thought for a moment before standing up, carrying Kylie up to the podium with him.

“As you all know, I’m Jeff, Riley’s husband. This is Kylie, our daughter. Riley was so excited about becoming a mother. She wanted to be as healthy as she could be so that Kylie would be healthy when she was born.” His voice cracked, so he took a moment to clear it. “Riley was everything that everyone claimed she was, but to me, and to her grandfather Walter, she was so much more. She was our life savers. She saved her grandfather’s life by donating blood to him, not nine months ago. She saved my life, way to many times to count. Thanks to her, I completely stopped any type of drug unless it’s over the counter pain killers, and I never take more than the recommended dosage anymore.”

“She was always, and I mean always, there for me when I needed her. Even when we weren’t together, she was there in the back of my mind, and that was enough for me to doubt my choices, and to think if she would accept them or not. If I knew she would, I would have been fine doing it. If I didn’t think she would approve, however, I didn’t do it.”

“Seeing how many people came here today, it just, it makes me so happy that she was so loved while she was here on this earth. I’m sure she would of loved all of this, and, I know she really loved each and every one of you.” He stepped down, hugging the baby to his chest as the preacher said a final prayer. Everyone walked by her casket to bid one final farewell. Jeff was the first to go through, so he grabbed two roses from the top, one for himself, and one for Kylie when she got older and could be told more about today. He stood with the baby at the end of the casket, thanking everyone for coming and accepting more condolences from people who missed him before. When the last person left, he was left standing beside the casket with no one around but Kylie. He grabbed her hand and placed it on top of the casket, his own holding hers there.

“Say goodbye to Mama baby,” he said gently, sniffling slightly. He let both of their hands drop and turned and walked back to the car, securing Kylie before getting in himself. He didn’t accept the limo or anything. He wanted the alone time in the car with his daughter, and for his thoughts of the woman that would be in the ground in a few minutes to overflow his mind.

He thought about when he first met her, the first day he introduced her to his friends at school. He thought about the protectiveness he felt when he found out what Ron had did to her, and how relieved he was when he heard there was no way for the bastard to get out of prison this time. Jeff remembered the first time Riley got drunk, how she kept crowing at people and singing random songs. Their wedding day flooded his mind, along with the day they shared Kylie kicking for the first time.

He drove home after the wake, just wanting to get his daughter into bed and go to bed himself, but tonight, he would be going to his own bedroom, not the guest room. He needed to smell her, sense her, and the only room he could do that in was the bedroom they shared.

He laid on the bed, facing the side she should have been laying on, but it didn’t seem empty the way he thought it would. He could still feel her presence, and that was enough to lull him sleep for the first time in weeks.