My Number One Fan

When we got back home the next morning, it wasn’t to relax. We had a week to get ourselves back in WWE form again, and it was going to be painful, at least on my part. My arm still wasn’t healed up enough for WWE standards, so if it wasn’t good enough for them to consider me eligible to fight again, than I would be working as an interviewer or a manager until it got completely better.
The morning of our return, I paced around the house. We were returning during a European tour that went into us going to Australia then Japan, so it was going to be a long, hard tour. I stretched my arm out and smiled. It’s feeling better than it ever has in years.
“Ready to go?” Jeff asked walking into the room. I nodded and started to help gather out luggage, packing it into the trunk of the car. We were picking up Matt, then meeting Shane and Shannon at the airport. We were flying out to England, checking into a hotel, and hanging out until Tuesday night for Smackdown. When Jeff slammed the trunk door shut, I slid into the passenger side seat, buckling my seatbelt. Jeff slid in behind the wheel and drove toward the road, stopping when we reached Matt’s house and honking the horn. He showed up with Mandy and Jason beside the door. He kissed them both goodbye, probably throwing in a promise to call when we got to the hotel.
“Let’s go,” Matt said when he jumped into the backseat. Jeff started driving again, honking at Mandy who was waving from the front door. We passed Gib’s house, then finally pulled out onto the road.
“I can’t believe we’re returning in England,” Jeff said, setting the cruise control and sitting back and reaching his hand for mine. I took it and locked our fingers together.
“I can’t believe I’m returning at all,” I muttered, stretching out my right arm again.
“You have no idea how excited I am about this,” Matt said, bouncing up and down.
“We can kinda guess Matt,” I said, holding the dashboard as the car bounced with him. I looked over at Jeff, who was laughing and glancing back at Matt.
“Matt, bro did you take a hyper pill this morning?” I asked when he started singing a song I was guess was off the top of his head. He was saying stuff like “pigs flying in the air,” and “donkeys milking a wicked fence.”
“Nope, just excited.” he said.
“Hun, let him.” Jeff said. “He’ll pass out on the plane and we won’t have to worry about him harassing the flight attendants.”
“Good point,” I muttered, sitting back in the seat. We reached the airport and went through the routine. We made sure to have our passports and ID’s in a carry on bag, and finally boarded the plane. Just like Jeff said, Matt passed out about a half hour into the flight, but not before he was able to get a stewardess to say “Gilly Gilly Gumbo.”
“I don’t think I’ve seen Matt that dead.” Shane said, who was sitting next to Matt. I was on his other side while Jeff was beside me. Shannon was on Jeff’s other side and in the aisle seat.
“Leave him alone guys,” I said just as the stewardess Matt already got to passed us. “Excuse me,” I said, stopping her. “I just wanted to apologize for my brother-in-law earlier,” I started saying.
“Oh, he’s perfectly fine.” the woman said. She leaned in closer and whispered to us, “I’ve been talked into saying stuff a lot worse than that.”
“I just felt like one of us should apologize though. Matt is very excited right now and he’s not too settle when he’s excited.”
“I know you all,” she said. “You’re the Hardy Show, I watch you online all the time,” the woman said suddenly. A grunted snore and Matt sitting up had us staring at him.
“Yep, that’s us,” Jeff said. “Always nice to meet a fan.” he held out his hand, which she shook. She then took Shannon’s offered hand, then mine. Matt was still too groggy to realize what was really going on, so she skipped him and went to Shane.
“It’s nice to meet you all, let’s see if I have you right,” she said. She started with Shannon. “Shannon Moore, Jeff, Riley, and Matt Hardy, and Shane Helms correct?” Everyone but Matt nodded.
“No!” he shouted. “I’m Mrs. Buttersworth!”
“Ignore him.” I muttered.
“Well, I’m Melly, so if you need anything, don’t hesitate to ask.” Melly said. Matt out of nowhere turned to face Melly.
“What’s red, big, and causes a lot of noise?” he asked.
“What?” she asked. I groaned, knowing this joke from so many years ago.
“A Cockle doodle doo!” he shouted, laughing at himself.
“Earphones please,” I asked Melly. She nodded and looked at everyone else. They gave her a “yes and hurry” look and she left before Matt could realize she was leaving. Matt was passed out again by the time Melly returned. We put the headphones into our music players and listened for the longest time.
“Hey honey,” Jeff said, tapping my arm at the same time. I looked over at him and he pointed toward the window, where the sun was blazing in the sky. I looked back over at Jeff confused. He just shrugged and went back to reading a book her brought. I rolled my eyes and reached for my blanket, which was gone. I looked back up at Jeff, and noticed he was looking over his book with laughter in his eyes.
“What did you do with it?” I asked him. Shane looked down toward us as Jeff put the book down.
“Do with what?” he asked, looking innocently at me.
“My blanket.” I said. “It was right beside me but now it’s gone, and you did that juvenile way of distracting me to get it.”
“I don’t have it,” he said, his voice going a little high pitched from trying to keep his laughter in. “Look behind you.” I turned around and saw my blanket, wrapped around Matt.
“Dude, Matt,” I said, shaking him awake. He opened his eyes and looked around confused.
“Wha?” he asked. He looked down at his body and saw the blanket wrapped around him. He smiled sheepishly at me and snuggled into the blanket more.
“Matthew,” I said.
“Here,” he said, opening the blanket up and wrapping it with his arms around me. “We’ll share.” he laid his head on my shoulder and passed out again.
“Comfy?” Jeff asked, smirking at me.
“Just help me get his fat ass off me,” I muttered, trying to push Matt up. Jeff chuckled and sat forward, pushing Matt so he went back to his own seat, his head falling back making his mouth sag open and his snoring to become slightly louder.
“We’ve only been on this flight for an hour and already I’m attacked by Matt,” I muttered. “The rest is going to be fun.”
“Nah, not unless we keep Matt entertained.” Shannon said.
“I can help with that,” a voice from in front of us said. I looked up, and if it wasn’t for the fact that I’m around famous people all the time, I would of fainted or melted or screamed.
“M. Shadows?” I asked, looking him up and down. “What are you doing on this flight?”
“The whole crew is,” he answered. “And please, call me Shads.” he said.
“I’m Riley,” I said. “This is Shannon, my husband Jeff, my brother-in-law Matt, and Shane.”
“Nice to meet you all.” Shads said. He indicated to the people beside him, and I was closer to fainting this time than I was before.
“This is Zack, Brian, Mike and Johnny.” Shads said.
“We know Mikes, Johns, and Brians, but Zacks yet.” Jeff said, smiling. “Nice to meet you. You know,” he said suddenly. I whipped my head around and noticed the evil grin on his face. “Riley here is a huge fan of yours.”
“Really?” Zack asked. “I’m a fan of yours.” His group gave him a confused look. “Dudes, you don’t know who they are?” he asked his friends. They each shook their heads no. “This is Matt, Jeff, and Riley Hardy, Shannon Moore and Shane Helms from WWE.”
“Really?” Shads asked. “Are you really them?” We all nodded, everyone besides Matt.
“Wow, this is awesome.” Brian said.
“Wait, you have our song as your theme song,” Johnny said suddenly, pointing at me. “Unholy Confessions.”
“I love the song, and the beat’s good for my entrance.” I said.
“Well, it’s a pleasure to meet you then,” Mike said.
“I’m sorry, but I’m kinda disappointed meeting you guys,” I said, looking up and down the row. “I always hoped when I did meet you, Jimmy would be with you guys. I’m sorry about his loss. He was a damn good drummer and an even better person.”
“He’s missed,” Shads said. “But I’ve known him for years, and it’s not as bad as I thought. We’ve moved on, and he’s still alive in the hearts of fans and his family and us.”
“I love how you took his spot,” I said to Mike. “I read that you were his favorite drummer, he would be proud.”
“Yes, he would of.” Mike agreed. There was a long pause, during that time Matt woke up.
“Hey Riley, it’s Avenged!” he shouted suddenly.
“Hey Matt, I know!” I said back to him.
“So where you heading?” Zack asked us.
“England, we’re back with the WWE and we’re going back during the east side tour.” Shane said.
“We’re heading there as well. We started from LA, so we had to change plans in Greensboro.” Shads said.
“You guys are from LA?” Matt asked. I rolled my eyes.
“No Matt they’re from Orange County.” I said. “John Hennigan is from LA.”
“Oh yeah, isn’t Ron from Greensboro?” Matt asked.
“Matt, go back to bed,” Jeff said, smacking his brother on the back of the head. A laugh escaped from someone in the row in front of us.
“Hey can I ask you a question?” Zack asked me suddenly.
“You just did, but sure why not.” I replied.
“Okay more like a gazillion, but you and Jeff are really married?” he asked, looking between Jeff and me. We both nodded. “Is it true your father is Mark Calaway?”
“Excuse Zacky here,” Johnny said. “He’s the wrestling manic here.”
“It’s fine, and yes, Mark Calaway is my biological father.” I answered the both of them.
“Which one’s Mark Calaway?” Mike asked, looking confused.
“The Undertaker.” Zack replied.
“Sweet,” Shads said.
“Riley called you M. Shadows,” Jeff said, looking toward Shads. “Is that a stage name?”
“Yeah, my real name’s Matt Sanders. That’s why I told her to call me Shads. I knew it would confuse me and your brother over there.”
“No one can confuse you with that goofball.” I muttered. He smiled and laughed.
“What are your stage names?” Shannon asked the others.
“Mike doesn’t have one yet, but I’m Zacky Vengeance.” Zack replied.
“I’m Synyster Gates,” Brian spoke up.
“Johnny Christ,” Johnny said.
“And Jimmy was The Reverend Tholomew Plague, but it was shorted to The Rev,” I said. “All you had to do was ask Shannon!”
“I know, but I prefer talking to a horse’s mouth rather than a horse’s a-” he was cut off by Jeff punching him in the arm.
“Don’t talk to my wife like that,” he said, smacking Shannon like he slapped Matt earlier.
“I love the Hardy Show,” Zack said suddenly. “It’s funny as hell.”
“Thanks man,” Jeff said.
“We don’t see you too much though,” he said, looking toward me.
“Believe it or not, she’s the shyest person on the planet. She hates having cameras in her face, can’t stand having people sing ‘happy birthday’ to her.”
“But yet you perform in front of millions of people every week.” Shads said. I just shrugged.
“I enjoy wrestling, and it’s the only way I could go anywhere with it.” I said. “Wrestling’s in my blood.”
“I would say so, with the phenom as your father.” Zack said. “And the Big Red Machine as your uncle.”
“Glenn’s not my uncle in real life,” I said. “Just a story line from years ago. I do have uncles though, one of them raised me since I was 7.”
“What your parents couldn’t take care of you?” Johnny asked. Brian slapped his head.
“That’s her private business.” he scolded.
“It’s fine,” I said. “but not exactly. My mother died and Dad didn’t know about me.” I said. “The closet living relative I had that wanted me was my uncle, my Dad’s brother. It’s actually how I met Matt and Jeff.”
“Really?” Shads asked.
“We were next door neighbors for years,” Jeff explained. “She passed out on our driveway..”
“After getting abandoned by the social worker.” I added.
“Damn,” Mike said. “Hard life?”
“Very hard,” Jeff muttered darkly. “Stalker, death threat, amnesia, Bi-Polarism, I know I’m forgetting something,” he said, thinking.
“Miscarriage,” I added.
“And that day I was arrested.” Jeff said.
“I heard of that.” Zack said. “Why did you do that shit?”
“I have no idea,” Jeff said honestly. “I don’t regret it though. If I didn’t do it, I wouldn’t of gotten the wake up call I needed to get my shit straitened out, and it made my relationship with my wife a helluva lot stronger than it’s ever been.”
“Well, good luck, to all of you.” Shads said. He glanced to my right. “Looks like your brother fell back asleep.”
“Good, I think he snuck one of my Bi-Polar meds this morning.” I said, looking him over. A sudden thought hit me. “Dammit!” I said in a loud whisper. I took out my bottle, and sure enough I was right.
“What?” Jeff asked.
“I forgot I had a refill soon. I don’t have enough for the tour.”
“It’s just England right?” Zack asked.
“No, we’re going to Australia and Japan as well.” I said. “Maybe I can get the refill in England.”
“Hopefully.” Jeff said. “Did you take one this morning.”
“If I didn’t, I would be bawling my eyes out right now and screaming because my favorite band is sitting in front of me.” I pointed out.
“True,” he muttered.
“I’m sure they’ll refill it if you explain things to them.” Mike said.
“Where’s William when you need him?” I asked, looking around the plane.
“Who?” Zack asked.
“Regal,” I cleared up.
“I’m sure you’re not that bad.” Brian said.
“Riley just came back after being out for 4 months with a torn muscle in her arm. She missed a pill the day she returned to wrestling. She beat the girl that injured her so bad she really passed out, and that was only a couple hours with out it in her.”
“The prescription I was given only scratches the surface.” I said. Before anyone could say anything else, the plane jerked, and gas masks fell from the ceiling. I screamed as we jerked again. Turbulence.