Speechless.

Amelia knew in her heart that she was letting down a lot of people by being here. She knew that Matt would be disappointed; she knew John would freak out with worry, Cassidy wouldn’t voice her worry but Amelia knew it would be there, she knew Alex would yell at her again, she knew Jack in his own way would tell her that it wasn’t okay to go back; even Rian and Zack would shake their heads in disappointment. But Amelia felt it was Matt’s disappoint that would be the worst. She hated disappointing Matt but Amelia just couldn’t stay away.

No one would understand why she would return but Amelia was okay with that. This wasn’t a place meant for ordinary people; no sane person would go running back to a place like this. But to Amelia this place at times felt more like home then any house she had ever grown up in.

It could be described as little more than a cave, a deep cavern into the underground world of D.C. It was an abandoned subway, shut down years before hand. It had been forgotten by the public, shoved beneath piles of paperwork for those in government who hadn’t. It was nothing more than floor to wall pavement but something in Amelia calmed at being within this place once more. Her fingers traced the etchings on the wall. Chalk drawings Amelia herself had spent hours creating. Portraits of those they’d lost, faces of the ones Amelia could never truly get out of her head.

Amelia smiled softly at the faded blue chalk drawing of Matt, it was smeared and faded but the deep care in Matt’s eyes was still untouched and fresh. Her eyes scanned the dim area, turning away from the graffiti wall.

Napkins, old forks, an old sock, a broken comb. Forgotten things forgotten by forgotten people. But they had been Amelia’s people and the napkins, plastic utensils, discarded socks, and even the broken combs were all reminders that they had been real, that is had not been a hallucination. They were real, Mickey and the others were real.

Amelia wondered to the subway tracks and her eyes gazed deeper into the subway, chills ran down her spine as she remembered well what had happened the last time she had stepped foot on those tracks.

”Go to hell,” She snarled angrily spitting at the tattoo man. The man reeled back and ran his hand over his face. Fast as a cobra his hand sprang back and collided with her face.

“Fuckin’ bitch!” He boomed as the force of the blow sent Amelia sailing to the floor.

“Mi-“ The small voice that made Amelia’s heart leap became suddenly muffled as a man hiding within the shadows with the others hid from the men before Amelia now. Relief flooded Amelia, Cougar was with her, Cougar would protect her; Mickey was safe.

A grimy hand reached into her hair and yanked her back to her feet, Amelia couldn’t suppress the yelp from her lips as the men’s yellowed teeth shown in satisfaction.

“What’s the matter Amelia?” He taunted. “Not so brave now are we?” Her body jerked as she sent all her weight to her foot as it collided with the man’s groin. He doubled over and gasped but his grip didn’t loosen.

“I’m not afraid of you, Viper.” She spat trying to wrench her hair free.

“Really?” He growled, “For someone so fearless you sure are acting frantic.”

“Maybe we should make you scared,” His minion commented off handedly. Amelia watched in horror as he made his way toward the shadows.

“No!” Amelia screamed and the man paused grinning. “Run! Take Mick and run!” She yelled into the shadows

“I’m not leaving you,” A face suddenly emerged from the shadows. A short stocky tattooed Latino man came into view.

“Don’t be stupid,” The man lunged for Amelia’s friend who darted out of the way. “Take Mickey and run! I mean it Cougar.” She sighed defeated. “Get the others out of here.”

“Mia!” a high pitched voice yelled, fighting off the hands of her mother.

“Run Mickey! Run and never look back.”

“Come too!”

“Run McKenna Belle!” Amelia shouted her voice hard. “Don’t be stupid, RUN! All of you!”

“You sound as though we won’t get them,” Viper commented in amusement.

“You wont,” Amelia growled, she twisted and gave a sudden jerk as a chunk of her hair came free from her head simultaneously freeing herself from his grip. She darted down into the subway tracks and ran as fast as her bare feet would carry her.

“After her!” A voice boomed as pounding feet could suddenly be heard behind her.

She was running as fast as her legs would carry her, she ran until her lungs screamed and then she ran harder. The cavern was dark and damp and her naked feet pounded against the cold grey ground, the sound echoing all around her. Her pursuer’s feet pounded heavily against the ground, nearly drowning out her own steps. Thud, thud, thud, he was closer than before, gaining speed, his prey within reach.

He’d kill her, she knew. She’d broken Law, defied the monsters in the dark, and embarrassed the one who chased her now. She tried to run harder but her bare feet were already bleeding and abused and could not take the abuse of running faster.

His dirty meaty hand clamped hard around her hair jerking her backward and nearly knocking her off her feet. A scream tore through her lips as he held her by the pony tail. They heard her screams, she knew, but they would never come. Yet she could not bring herself to blame them. She’d brought this on herself, any interference would just cause more harm in the end.

“You are mine,” His voice was gruff and throaty and it made her tremble with fear. “You do as I say. I forbid you and you defied me! What makes you any better than the rest?” he demanded furiously. She was numb, her body had shut down, it did not wish to torture her with a prolonged death. “What is the matter, Mi chillón.”

She was no coward, she did not fear her captor, she feared the things she would miss when he’d finish with her. She regretted never telling Matt how much she loved him, how she thought the world of him growing up. She never told Jack that he was the best friend anyone anywhere could ever have. She never sent Alex her condolences. Dazed, she wondered if she would see Logan when all this was over.

Defiant and brave to the end, she spit in his face. Everyone feared him but she never would.
He roared with rage and suddenly his hands were around her throat, squeezing tighter and tighter.

“I’m going to make it so you never forget Amelia, so no one ever forgets your stupidity.”

Her world was going hazy around the edges as she saw the gleam of metal in his friend’s hand.

“Tell me you want it,” Viper ordered but Amelia whimpered and shut her eyes tight. Her skin was crawling, her heart racing for reasons having little to do with Viper’s assaulting hands.

His hands loosened enough for her to speak. “I don’t,” She chocked, her voice hoarse. “I don’t want it,” But tears were streaming down her face and the underside of her wrist had involuntarily turned toward the men.

She felt the needle prick her sick and her stomach turned before anticipation took her so strong she thought she’d go crazy. Nothing was happening, nobody moved, nothing injected itself into Amelia’s veins.

His mouth was beside her ear, his breath hot and moist. “Tell me you want it, tell me what it is you want most.”

A sob escaped Amelia’s lips, “I want it,” She whispered barely audible. She felt it, like cool fire as it shot up her arm and into her bloodstream. An insane relief took her at the feeling, her body had gotten what it had craved but her head and her heart were numb. “I want to die,” She murmured, her heavy lidded eyes threatening to close.

“As you wish, Mia.” His hands were around her throat again, tightening, constricting, and then…Amelia felt nothing at all.

Amelia was trembling as she stared down at the bloodstain at her feet. She knew it was hers; it was the mouth full of blood she’d spat when Viper had hit her what seemed liked a lifetime ago. No tears came to Amelia’s eyes; no whimper crawled up her throat. Amelia had made her peace with what had happened, she understood what had gone down in the tunnel but she wasn’t afraid. Viper had had every intention of killing her that night. In fact Amelia was pretty sure Viper thought he had strangled her to death. But some time later Cougar, who never really listened to Amelia, had ventured into the tunnel to retrieve the body of his friend.

Dirtied tattoo hands and CPR had saved Amelia’s life. Amelia had lived and died in that tunnel—literally.

Cougar had done his best to nurse Amelia back to some semblance of good health. In many ways Amelia had recovered but she had never spoken again. Cougar had numbly, calmly explained to her that she was suffering from Vocal Cord Paralysis at the hands of Viper. Amelia had nodded to herself, gestured to him to find a blanket for the night and by the time he had returned Amelia had been gone, already half way to the Flyzik’s, hoping to find the safe arms of her brother for comfort. Because even Cougar couldn’t bring her the comfort she needed then. Only her big brother could chase the nightmares from her mind.

Amelia sighed as she turned back to the entrance of the subway tunnel. A figure was standing in the shadows and it made Amelia visibly jump before every muscle in her body froze in anticipation.

“Whose there?” The feminine voice demanded. It was strong, demanding but there was skittish edge to it.

“Candice.” Amelia breathed in disbelief and relief.

The figure moved out of the shadows. A tattered young woman stepped into the single ray of light. She wore an oversized tee shirt, a torn pair of jeans, and sneakers with the toe beginning to wear out the tip. Her name was Candice, a heroin addict by default, and the mother of McKenna Belle.

“Mia,” She gasped wide eyed, paling slightly. She looked as though she had seen a ghost and Candice’s next comment only confirmed as much. “I thought you were dead—Cougar said you died. He said Viper killed you.”

“He did,” It sounded odd for Amelia to vocally confirm that yes, Viper had killed her. “But Cougar revived me.” Amelia couldn’t stop her eyes from scanning the waist height area around Candice.

“She’s not here,” There was a slightly bitter edge to Candice’s voice. Amelia knew that Candice had always been jealous of her and Mickey’s relationship, but Candice had never known that it had been Amelia who had been jealous of Candice’s status as Mickey’s mother.

“How is she?”

“Really?” Candice spat in annoyance. “You leave, we all thought you were dead and all you have to say is ‘how is she?’, seriously Mia?” Candice gazed at her reproachfully. “You know just before I thought you’d changed completely, but you haven’t changed at all.” She scuffed and glanced at the graffiti wall, her jaw locked. Candice’s eyes were cold when they met Amelia’s. “She doesn’t ask about you anymore.” She stated coldly. “She doesn’t wake up in the middle of the night screaming for you anymore.”

It was good that Mickey had moved on, Amelia nodded to herself, trying to assure herself of this. But a hole was ripping itself open in her chest and finally small vapors of tears misted in Amelia’s eyes.

“That’s good,” Amelia murmured softly.

“McKenna is my daughter, Amelia.”

“I know that.”

“Good.”

Amelia’s eyes traveled to Candice’s scared forearm. She could see the red irritated blotches were a needle had been stabbed in. But something else caught her eye. On Candice’s elbow was a tattoo of snake fangs.

“How’s Viper?” Amelia seethed through gritted teeth.

“We were wrong to try to stand against him, Amelia.”

“How can you say that?” Amelia questioned in disgust.

“Easily. I have McKenna to think about. I wont have her grow up in fear that one day Viper will come for her.”

“She should wake up in fear. Fear will keep her alert, it will keep her alive.” Amelia argued vehemently. “You standing beside him is selling yours and Mickey’s soul. Do you realize that? Sure Viper wont come for her, he’ll come for you if he hasn’t already. He’ll make you his punching bag when he’s angry, take it out on you between the sheets. No,” Amelia shook her head, “Viper wont come for her but one day when she’s older one of Viper’s goons will. They’ll come for her and you wont be able to protect her without risking both your lives.”

“Shut up, Mia.” Candice snarled. “You have no idea what it’s been like, you aren’t in my shoes.”

“And I never would be!” She shouted. “I would never do that. I would die before I sided with Viper.”

Candice’s hand lashed out but Amelia caught it inches from her left cheek. “There’s a reason why Cougar sent you out every day. There’s a reason I never leaned on you, Candy. You’re weak.” Amelia bent her wrist back and Candice gave a cry of pain. “You’re like a half wild dog, you’re unpredictable, you only think about yourself. You bite the hand that feeds you. I’ve got news for you Candy, a pit-bull will take down a stray dog any day of the weak.”

“Is that a threat?” Candice questioned between her teeth wincing in pain.

“It’s a reminder.” Amelia corrected. “There is a reason why Cougar and I stood against them the strongest, why we looked out for the rest of you. Just because I’m small hunny doesn’t mean my bite is. Perhaps you should remind dear Viper of that fact. It’s a good thing you have McKenna because I don’t think Viper will be reproducing any time soon.” Amelia shoved her away and Candice fell on her hands and knees.

“If you’re so tough,” Candice began, as she picked herself up off the ground. “Why is that you ran from Viper that day?”

“To get him away from the pathetic ones like you.” Amelia snapped.

“Tell me something Amelia,” Candice’s voice was cold and sharp as double edged sword. “Is your maternal instinct towards my daughter have anything to do with the one you lost?”

Amelia lurched forward, her target being Candice’s smug little face. But two hands caught her arms and held her back.

“Let me go!” She screamed furiously. Amelia didn’t know who her captures were but she was going to knock them out as soon as she’d finished with Candice.

“Oh look,” Candice feigned surprise as she backed away smirking. “Big brother came to save the day after all. He’s only a year too late.” Ice shot through Amelia’s veins as Candice gave a short wave and disappeared up the steps and into daylight, hands still tight on her forearms. Amelia didn’t move, she didn’t breathe every muscle in her body had tensed and refused to unclench.

“Matt I-“

“What the fuck.”