Speechless.

Mia hadn’t spoken to John in two and a half weeks. It almost didn’t seem possible to not see someone when contained to a single tour, also when said person is a friend of the band your brother mananges. So after the first three days Mia was 100% sure that John was avoiding her, it left her both with a sting in her heart and relief on her mind; she didn’t know what to say to him anymore, it was easier to just avoid him.

She sat curled up on the couch in All Time Low’s bus watching Jack sit on the floor with Mickey, making her laugh harder than Amelia thought she’d ever seen the little girl laugh in her whole life.

“Hey Mick guess what?”

“What?” She questioned a wide toothy grin on her lips as she stared at Jack with sparkling eyes.

“Poke,” He jabbed her lightly in the side and Mickey spazed at the touch giggling. “poke, poke, poke.” Eventually the little girl fell over with laughter desperately trying to push the guitarist’s hand away.

“Uncle Jack stop!” She squealed begging. “You’re gonna make me pee!”

It was Jack’s turn to laugh and even Mia couldn’t help but grin. It warmed Mia’s heart to hear Mickey refer to Jack as her Uncle. She wanted nothing more than to Mickey to have family, to be surrounded by people who loved her, to grow up in a safe place. Somehow, and only God knows how, she found all of that on a summer music tour. But the pleasant feeling in her dropped when she realized that although Mickey called him Uncle, she didn’t know how close to the guitarist she actually was. Mickey was surrounded by her real family and she didn’t even know that—Mia had been depriving her and them of the information she withheld.

“Well we don’t want that,” Jack chuckled.

“I’ll be right back I have to go to the bathroom.” She informed and the two adults watched as the small child darted into the back of the bus.

“Jack,” the brown eyed man turned toward her, laughter toward Mickey still in his eyes. “Can you watch her for a bit? I have to go talk to Alex and my brother and I think it’s better if she isn’t there when I do.”

“Sure,” he nodded with a soft smile. “She’s easy to babysit.”

“Yeah,” Mia snorted as she rose from the couch. “That’s only because you have more in common with a five year old than anyone else on this tour—starting with your mutual love for animal crackers.”

“Hey there is nothing wrong with animal crackers.” He stated flatly and Mia smiled as she headed down the steps.

“Thanks Jack!” She called over her shoulder before the door closed behind her.

Mia knew she had to make things right. If she had any hope in the world of ever getting John to forgive her she knew she had to make amends, make things right, and do everything in her power to make sure nothing else went wrong.

So Mia found Matt and Alex where she knew they’d be—on Kevin’s bus. Amelia didn’t know how but she’d managed to acquire Lietty’s help for this one instance. Lietty herself was staying as far away from the two men as possible but she’d offered Amelia the little help she needed, because at the end of the day Lietty knew she’d never be where she is today without others help.

Mia paused outside the innocent enough looking oversized vehicle. She closed her eyes trying to just breathe and not get heart palpitations as her heart hammered in her chest. She felt like she was on the edge of a cliff and had to jump off it in order to save herself; it didn’t make much sense but was the only way to describe the girl as she took that final step to opening the bus door.

She could hear them, talking about nothing of any importance as they waited for Kevin who would never appear. They’re backs were to her and for a moment Mia thought how easy I’d be to just turn around and walk away, just for get about this whole thing.

“Hey guys,” She spoke up hesitantly.

The two men turned to her in surprise, confusion written on their faces.

“Mia what are you—“

“Kevin isn’t coming.” She announced, cutting her brother off. She was trying to just form coherent thoughts in her head and turn them into words before panic set in and she fled. “A—friend left you the note saying Kevin wanted to speak to you. I just wanted to talk to you two alone uninterrupted.”

“What’s going on Mia?” Alex questioned suspiciously and Mia couldn’t blame him—she’d done nothing but add drama to his life.

“Just,” She swallowed hard and closed her eyes. “Let me get this out before I can’t.” When neither men offered further input she rushed on. “I was there when Logan died,” She couldn’t bring herself to look at Alex directly but she saw him shift uneasy on his feet as though the mere mention of his brother physically stung him.

“We figured as much.” Matt commented. “But…why the hell are you bringing this up?”

Mia willed herself to look at Alex directly then. “You couldn’t have helped him. I know people probably told you that before to try to make you feel better but, honestly Alex, there was nothing you could have done. I’ve gone through it in my head over and over again and I don’t think anything but the strongest anti-depressants and best therapist in the world could have helped him.

I swear to God when I left him that day I thought he was okay. If I had any idea, even a thought that he might kill himself I would never have left him.”

Alex just looked exhausted as he turned away, his gaze stuck on something out the window. “It’s not your fault Mia…it happened five years ago why are you bringing this up?”

“Because…because it was Logan who convinced me to come home and I was fully prepared to but—he died and then…” Mia’s mouth went suddenly dry and her mind drew a blank. All she could think of was how much they’d hate her for keep this to herself for so long; she’d be back to square one.

“Then…?” Matt pressed.

“Then I found out I was pregnant—with Logan’s baby.”

This time Mia had Alex’s undivided attention, probably more strongly than any other person ever had.

“What the fuck are you talking about?” his words were little more than a breathy whisper but Mia heard him perfectly clear.

“I found out nine days later.” Her eyes fell to her shoes, to ashamed of herself, unable to bare the anger that would fill their eyes. “I just—I didn’t know how to come home. Logan was the one person always by my side, he was my best friend, and he—he was gone and I was pregnant. I didn’t know how to go back to a life I didn’t fit into, surrounded by people who were angry that I’d left in the first place, plus I was pregnant and with Logan’s baby no less…It was just easier to stay gone.”

Matt opened and closed his mouth, no words forming on his tongue as he stared at his sister in disbelief.

A sound of disgust left Alex’s lips. “That’s just like you, not thinking of anyone but yourself. What about your parents and Matt who looked for you for years? What about my family, didn’t you think we had a right to know?!” He shook his head bitterly. “Of course not, because the minute things go wrong little Mia Flyzik runs away, fuck everyone else!”

“Alex,” Matt started.

“If you were pregnant with Logan’s baby, and I’m not saying that I believe you were, why tell us now? Why not fucking go on living your life of lies.”

“Because that is exactly what it is,” Amelia stated quietly. “A life of lie, I deserve whatever life has coming at me but Mickey doesn’t—she’s a good girl. She has perfect trust in humanity, faith in all things good, she believes that if she lies her nose will grow, and I believe she, and you, have a right to know you have family. That little girl on your bus has never known family—only fear and betrayal by the people who should have loved her and didn’t.”

“Don’t fucking guilt trip me, Amelia.” Alex seethed. “You put her in that life, it’s not my fault you’re not going to win Mother of The Year award.”

“Alex,” Matt warned. Throughout this whole conversation Matt seemed to have grown number and paler with the passing moments. He turned to his sister trying to grapple with the information she was forcing at him. “I thought you said Mickey was Candy’s baby?”

“Candy’s sister took her baby or her baby died. At the time Candy was close to both me and her sister who worked for DIFUS. I was a drug addict, Matt, I couldn’t care for an infant and I knew that. I begged Candy to take my baby to her sister, to find my daughter a good home and I believed she did even after Candy returned some months later with a baby girl on her hip saying she’d somehow gotten her daughter back.”

Matt looked alarmed. “You never thought she’d be lying? Didn’t all she do was lie to you?”

“Believe it or not there was a time when I trusted Candy with my life—and my child.”

“Do you ever not make the wrong decision?”

“Shut the fuck up Alex!” It was a rare occurrence for Matt to yell, even for Mia she’d hardly ever heard her brother loose his temper; apparently you could only criticize his little sister for so long.

Alex pursed his lips, his lower lip between his teeth, and crossed his arms over his chest in annoyance. The move nearly physically pained Mia.

“Jesus Christ,” she mumbled in near disbelief.

“What?” They said at the exact same time.

“Logan used to do that exact move, lower lip between his teeth and all—so does Mickey.”

Suddenly self-conscious, Alex’s arms fell to his side.
Mia glanced at her shoes and swallowed hard before her eyes met Alex’s, the same identical shade of dark chocolate brown as her daughter’s.

“You can be mad at me until you die, Alex, I wouldn’t blame you if you were, just—just don’t be mad at McKenna Belle, she never did anything wrong, she’s just a little girl.”

Alex stared at Mia for a long moment, his face perfectly composed. “I never said I was mad at her. It’s not her fault her mother’s made a shit load of bad decisions. She—“ He swallowed hard. “She’s my niece.” The statement came out more of a question than statement. “I could never hate her.”

Mia sighed in relief and nodded quietly. Alex ran a hand over his face tiredly, not having any idea what to do with everything he’d just learn.

“I got to go,” he mumbled not look at either of the Flyzik siblings as he moved around Mia and twisted open the front door and left the bus, leaving the Flyzik siblings alone for the first time in a long time.

The silence stretched on between the two, Mia too mentally drained to even remember how to string together a sense, and Matt too mind boggled.

“So,” He stated, a small smile working its way across his lips. “McKenna’s my niece.”