Don't Remember Me

“What? Are you straight or something?” I asked Brynden when we got up to my room. Brian wasn’t here because he went to his girlfriend’s house or something so he couldn’t ask what his friend was doing in my room.
The boy took a look around before turning to me and slowly shaking his head.
“Bi? Gay? Pansexual? …Asexual?” I kept shooting out suggestions.
“G… gay…“ He managed to get out, a furious pink blush on his cheeks. Although, I suppose it should’ve been obvious to me seeing as he stalked a guy such as myself
“Hey, kid, take it easy.” I tried to reassure him. “It doesn’t really matter; I like guys too.”
“B-but I…” He bit his lip again and stumbled over to my bed before sitting down.
“So, what do you like to do? I have video games, a computer – we can watch TV if you’re bored.” I suggested. He eyed my collection of games. He fiddled with a loose thread on his shirt.
“Y-you have th-the new racing g-game that I wa-wanted to play…” He stuttered. Shit… his stutter really was fucking cute. I stifled a groan at that realization, but I wasn’t taking it back because it was the truth.
“Play it then.” I told him. I felt terrible about taking his first kiss, so he was free to go through anything in my room; even my porn (though I doubted he’d like it because it was girls).
“R-really?” He asked in surprise.
“Yeah, do anything you want. In return, just talk to me.” I said, nodding. He smiled one of those smiles that he’d showed me earlier when I told him I knew he was Taylor.
“Th… thank you.” He then pulled out the case and placed the game in the console, smiling as he did so.
“You’re a little fucked up, aren’t you?” I asked him. He looked over at me, innocent smile still on his face.
“Huh?” He questioned, tilting his head at me, his dark, probing eyes searching mine curiously.
I covered my eyes with my fists. “Why the fuck would you want to be around a guy like me?”
He sat down and started the game, thinking it over. “I… I don’t know… Maybe because… I don’t like seeing th-that painful face you m-make around him…” He whispered, his teeth clamping down over his lip.
I sighed and accepted his answer, not wanting to question it further.
“U-umm… a-about earlier…” He paused to stop the game and look over at me. “You didn’t really… umm… you didn’t really m-mean that… err… that I was your… b-boyfriend… did you?” He stuttered.
Damn that stutter – it really was adorable. And damn him for not being a creeper. Maybe then I could turn him away easier; maybe I wouldn’t find myself attracted to him. But, then again, I had been attracted to Ryan too and that didn’t work out.
“No…” I mumbled. “Why? Were you hoping you were?”
He shook his head nervously and started his game up again. “I-it’s okay… I know you love Hayden…” He whispered cautiously.
Jesus… why the fuck do I feel like such a… dick. Oh wait… ‘cause I am. Here’s some sweet, innocent kid wasting his time on some fuck-up who loves his best friend. I feel like he should have a medal for putting up with my bullshit. “Can we stop talking about Hayden?” I asked, feeling awkward. I had never once talked to anyone about my feelings for Hayden in person.
“O-okay… I’m sorry…” He breathed.
I rubbed my head with my left hand. “No… don’t be… it’s not your fault.” I tried to reassure him.
He chewed over his lip and nodded, keeping his eyes pasted on the game.
“What’s your full name?” I asked after a few minutes, trying to keep a conversation going.
“B-Brynden Taylor Kl-Kline…” He answered quietly.
“Favorite color?” I kept the questions going at a constant pace.
“Black. Yours?”
I grinned at the fact that he was brave enough to ask something back. “Cerulean. Band?”
“D-Death’s Dynasty…” He mumbled.
“At least you have good taste in music.”
“D-Does… H-Hayden like th-that kind…?” He asked shyly and it seemed like he was almost afraid to ask that because it meant he was bringing up Hayden again. But I felt like I owed the kid an answer.
“Nah, he loves old rock music.” I clarified.
“S-sorry…” He whispered, hanging his head to look at his hands on the controller in his lap. “I’m… I’m supposed t-to be… making y-you forget…”
I sighed and rolled my eyes, spinning around in my chair to face my computer. “Would my brother freak if he knew you were here with me?”
“I… I-I don’t th-think so… wh-why?”
“Eh, no reason.” I shrugged and then I forgot the whole reason I was even getting on my computer. I didn’t feel like writing and there wasn’t anything incredibly interesting on the internet. The only thing interesting in my room was the black-haired boy on my bed. The same kid who, in some form or other, stalked me.
He didn’t fill the profile of the stalker type. He was skinny and had a pleasant paleness (not a sickly pale) with glossy black hair that fell just to his shoulders.
But, what I don’t understand is why in the hell he’d go this far for me. He even went as far as to kiss me; his first kiss. Which reminds me, I need to ask him about that.
“Brynden.” I breathed, turning around in the chair to face him. He instantaneously paused the game and looked back up at me, those gentle, black eyes of his on mine.
He tilted his head at me and gave a nervous half-smile. “Yes?”
“Why did you kiss me? It was your first wasn’t it?” I asked, keeping my face serious and free of any smug grin.
He turned away and under his hair I could see the furious blush on his cheeks. “B-because…” He mumbled, fidgeting with the hem of his shirt.
“Because…?” I coaxed.
“I-I… I w-w-want-wanted t-too…?” His violent stuttering almost made it impossible to understand anything he was saying, but I heard it. “I… I don’t kn-know… E-everyone w-was wait-waiting and I…”
“Are you meaning to say we coerced you?”
“N-no… ”
“Then, what is this? A confession?” I meant it jokingly, not even realizing the effect of my words.
At least, not until I saw his body tense up and his tiny hands shaking viciously as the balled up in his shirt. “H-hey… I was just kidding…” I trailed off, standing up so that I could make my way over to his trembling figure.
I placed a hand on his shoulder and he instantly looked up, with a weird kind of gentle hurt in his eyes. “I-I w-w-wasn’t th-though…” He whispered.
Then he pushed himself past me and darted through the room and down the stairs.
“Brynden!” I yelled after him.
“Whoa, Bryn, what are you-” A new voice joined the stairwell. Brian’s. He met my eyes with a questioning glance as he let Brynden throw open the door and run outside. Once he was at the top of my staircase he started to ask me what was going on.
“Dude, why’s Brynden here?”
“Oh, you mean my stalker?” I tried to say it sarcastically, but it didn’t work that way. I couldn’t get his face out of my head, his hurt expression that still held the placid emotion that he always had.
“Please don’t tell me you did anything to Bryn.” He pleaded, looking up at me.
“I didn’t.” To the extent of what he question covered. He meant anything physical, and no, I hadn’t done anything physical to the kid, I just mentally tortured him and made him admit something that he didn’t want me to hear.
But I couldn’t get over how utterly terrible I felt about it.
“But why was he here?”
“I already told you,” I paused, my voice sounded incredibly tired and worn out. “He’s the kid who was stalking me. For lack of a better word.”
“Don’t you get why he was ‘stalking’ you?” He rolled his eyes exasperatedly. Of course I got it, he was trying to keep me from thinking painful thoughts about Hayden and how hopeless the love I had for him was. “Last year, do you know why he came by so much?”
I arched an eyebrow at him. “He did?”
“Yeah, almost every day, you fucking idiot. But you were too busy with Hayden to realize it.”
“You said he only came over once!” I yelled back.
“Well, I lied, he didn’t want you to know if you came asking who he was.”
I took a deep breath and rubbed the bridge of my nose. “Okay… tell me why he came over so much…” I said tiredly. It was like all my energy had been drained.
“You’re fucking dense, even if you are smart. He’s liked you since he was in the ninth grade.”