Running From Reality

I Need to Confess, I’m Not Alright, I’m Broken Inside
Post Song;; I’m Not Alright by Sanctus Real

I flipped my mattress over. Since the last time my dad visited my room a few days ago, I had been sleeping on the floor in my closet. But now I decided I wanted my comfy cozy bed back. But the mattress was disgusting.
I spread the new sheets out and threw the comforter on top. “There.” I smiled. Then frowned. My brow furrowed. What was that noise? I clicked the off button on my iPod dock remote. “Oh no.”
I jumped across the pillows on the floor to the door, slamming myself against it at the same moment my dads hand gripped the door knob.
“Move Andrea! Now!”
“No!” I screamed. “Go away!”
He pushed with all of his weight against the door and I fell to the floor.
“Bitch!” He screamed, and straddled me. I fought against him. He was extremely pissed off about something. There was no telling what he’d do. I struggled to move out from under him. Before I could register what was happening, his arm swung back and then forward, straight into my cheek as I tried to turn away. Tears sprung to my eyes.
“Stop.” I begged.
He pulled my pants to my knees, then his. Not even bothering with his boxers. There was that stupid hole in them. Stupid underwear manufacturer. Without warning, he shoved into me. I screamed. I don’t mean shouted. I screamed loud enough for him to punch me again. Then his hands gripped my upper arms.
My hands went numb.
Tears completely blurred my vision.
But not my hearing. He started yelling at me as he shoved in and out of me.
“You called your brother you stupid bitch!” He punched my stomach and I cried out. “Don’t tell him a thing!” He pushed into me hard and I felt like I was going to die. At that moment, I wanted to.
He was blinded by anger. He did something he hadn’t done before. He kissed me. My father kissed me. A shoving his tongue into my mouth kiss. When he pulled back he dragged his teeth on my lip, tearing it slightly. I spit at him. I’d had enough.
“GET THE HELL OUT OF MY ROOM!” I screamed, kicking.
He pulled out of me, stood up, yanked up his pants, and looked at me, half naked, lying on my floor. Then he looked at my feet. “You were running again.” He noted my swollen ankle.
He smiled evilly and brought his foot down on it.
“Run now bitch.” He said as he turned. My door slammed.
I scrambled to the door and shoved my desk chair under the knob. With my jeans still around my knees I pulled my purse from my desk and dumped it out on the floor. I picked up my phone.
“Alex. I need you.”

When Alex got to my house (In a record 4 minutes.) and snuck upstairs into my room I was sitting naked in the shower letting the scalding water wash over me, blending with my tears.
My knees were pulled up against my breasts. My arms pulled them closer.
“Oh Andibear.” He breathed.
I looked up at him, bangs dripping water into my eyes. “I couldn’t stop him. He was angry.” I looked back at the drain, watching the water spin around and around. I focused on the swirling center. Where it all finally disappeared.
He kneeled next to the tub, picking up the loofah in the basket on the side. He held it out to me, but I shook my head.
He lathered it up with my honey and vanilla body wash and scrubbed, starting with my back.
Alex moved the loofah along my shoulders, my arms, my lower legs. My feet, shaking his head at my ankle. I let my legs down and he scrubbed my upper legs. My breasts. When he got to my stomach his face tightened up in anger. Then he helped me stand. He scrubbed my butt and the backs of my legs. He made sure I was covered in bubbles before aiming the spraying water at me.
He helped me rinse off before turning off the water and helping me out. He chose a towel from the cabinet above the toilet and gently dried me off. I let him. I didn’t move.
He yanked a sports bra over my head and underwear up my legs. Then a pair of his basketball shorts I’d stolen and a t-shirt from track.
I sat on my bed while he shoved clothes in my track bag. He picked up Teddy from my bed and set him on top. “Can you walk?” He asked. I shook my head slowly. He opened my window and dropped my bag outside. It landed with a thunk and he turned back to me. He slipped a hand under my legs and the other behind my back. He picked me up and I wrapped my arms around his neck.
I didn’t care anymore about being seemingly proper.
I was going to live with my best friend and her brother.
My best friend.