The August Project

Sometimes I wondered about some people. They just acted so strange. The ironic thing was I probably shouldn’t have been saying that seeing as I spent most of my conscious years in a circus, but to me that was normal. Seeing a bearded lady and men who ate fire were normal. Seeing people outside of the circus was just weird. Granted, my parents were technically involved with the circus at they were still weird.

Then again, God wouldn’t really like me passing all these judgements, now would he? Probably not, but I wasn’t saying them out loud or anything. And besides, I wasn’t trying to be mean when I thought these thoughts. People had control over the words they said but I liked to think that they didn’t have much control over the thoughts that flowed through their noggin. After all, you could just be sitting there and then BAM a random thought appears in your head.

But alas, my judgement of my two fairy god people were solid in my opinion. Something was a bit off their rocker. They wanted to me to go in freezers and propose to them. For the most part, I generally didn’t think that was what you were supposed to do. I liked the idea of being in my gym much more than being in below zero temperatures. I was used to being in my gym, I was comfortable there. Plus, Mother and Father never went in there.

I had to leave the boys in the barn-gym to go get changed. I knew it wasn’t safe to swing around in my normal clothes and after the accident that cost me my performing career I wasn’t about to risk getting into another one. Then I might not be able to walk or something horrid like that and I’d never be able to do anything for myself and my parents would be more made because they would have to start doing the dishes and the laundry and then they’d make me do things and I wouldn’t be able to get to my room and I’d have to sleep on a park bench and then pigeons would eat my hair and homeless men would try to marry me and I’d have to and then I’d live in a cardboard box and it’d just be awful!

And therefore I would change into my plain black leotard and tie my hair back into a bun. I saw Moo Cow sitting on my dresser looking rather lonely and decided to take him with me. He always liked to watch me practice and he told me when I needed to do things better. He really was a very good companion for a girl to have. Don’t get me wrong, I valued all my other plush friends, but Moo Cow was my best friend and therefore I’d take his opinion of the rest of theirs. Besides, Oink Pig never knew what he was talking about anyways.

I scuttled down the stairs of the house and out the back door before making my way over to the barn with Moo Cow held carefully in my arms. Sometimes the back yard could be a bit muddy and he didn’t need a bath today. I took off my shoes at the front entrance of barn and stepped in the box of rosin that was beside the entrance. I found Jed and Anthony easily- it wasn’t like they’d moved much- and walked over to them.

“This is Moo Cow,” I said happily, extending out Moo Cow for them to see but not touch. No one touches Moo Cow except myself and, well, Moo Cow. “He likes to watch when I do tricks. It’s more exciting for him than looking out the window all day. Though I do suppose he likes to watch the bird’s nest that is outside my window. The babies just hatched and they look kind of funny but I think they’ll look like their mommy and daddy eventually.”

I noted that Jed and Anthony exchanged a look, though honestly I couldn’t tell you what that look possibly was. I was terribly at decoding what other people were thinking. Well, there was an exception when it came to anger. I was very good at knowing when people were angry with me, and on the other side of that spectrum I was good at knowing when people were pleased with something I’d done. But any other emotion? No, I was hopeless and I knew it. Funny thing was it didn’t bother me that much. It made it more like a came for me.

“Well aren’t you just the cutest damn thing?” Jed finally said, though for some reason he was trying to contain his laughter. For one, I didn’t know what he was laughing about. I also was unaware of whom he was talking about, myself or Moo Cow? Or both. It could have been both.

“No cursing in my barn,” I said with a slight frown. If God was listening- and he always was- he would not be very pleased about that. The last thing I wanted was for Him to be displeased with me. After all, He was generally the one person I could count on to love me no matter what. Gosh knows that my parents were unable to fill that position. I’m sure deep down somewhere they held that parental love that all parents were supposed to be embedded with, but the way they expressed their feelings towards me was at times very questionable.

“Isn’t that just precious, Bo--, Anthony?” Jed asked the other boy in the room with a smile written across his face. Oh dear, if my parents saw me right now I would be in deep trouble. But unless they somehow got off work early, I doubted I needed to worry about it.

“Uhh,” Anthony said. It seemed like all he could do was stare at Moo Cow.

“Don’t look at him like that, you’re making him uncomfortable,” I said in defense of my best friend as I held him close to me in a hug. I wandered over to the edge of the mat and sat him down on his little pile of pillows I had put together especially for him before stretching. The last thing I needed was a pulled muscle. Once I was done with that, I went over to the other box of rosin- this one was elevated to the level of my hip- and dusted my hands with the stuff. Some gymnasts preferred to wear the glove things, but I never did. It always threw off the look of the costume when performing anyways. My hands were very rough and callused but I didn’t mind. The more calluses there were, the less pain my hands endured.

“So, sweets, show us what you got,” Jed said excitedly as he rubbed his hands together. Perhaps he was mimicking me? Well that was very odd because it’d do him no good unless he actually had the powder on his hands. I’d just make sure he didn’t attempt the same things.

“What do you mean? I haven’t got anything,” I said in confusion.

“He means show us your talents,” Anthony said and I noted the rolling of his eyes. He seemed to be like my personal Jed dictionary. That was nice. Jed was very confusing most of the time anyways. I wondered how Anthony learned to speak Jed. Maybe there was a class I could take? I’d have to look into that. “You know, do some tricks on the bar things or that beam.”

“Oh, sure,” I said with a shy smile. It had been a while since I performed in front of anyone but as usual I was completely ready for it.

I walked over to the uneven bars and looked up at them. They were what injured me; I was terrified by them. I rarely went on them anymore but I knew they were the most impressive thing besides ariel things, however I didn’t exactly have a trapeze in here. I jumped and grabbed onto the lower bar and hoisted myself up. I felt the familiar muscles work throughout my body as I kept everything strong and straight. I needed to gain a little bit of momentum before doing anything but all of that was completed within a few seconds.

I did a few flips and tucks between the two bars, nothing out of the ordinary for someone that knew how to fly on those things. I didn’t dare try to do any of the tricks in my more advanced uneven bar directory, at least not yet. In the future I might get back to it but that wouldn’t be for awhile.

After awhile I decided it was enough for the uneven bars. If I did anything more I’d probably have a heart attack from fear. Secretly they still frightened me and every time I saw them I remembered the burning pain they had put me in.

I landed with a flourish on the mat with steady legs and strong arms before looking over at Jed and Anthony.

“D’you like it?” I asked nervously.