The August Project

Getting Delilah off her property was one thing, she put up quite a struggle. But once we got her on the bus, she was like a child their first time at a zoo. Her eyes were glued to the window and she nodded along as Anthony and I pointed out all the best local sites. And of course Boyfriend and I knew almost everybody on the bus so we took it upon ourselves to introduce our darling little Lila around.

"Oh, Mr. Peterson, good morning," I greeted him. He's Anthony's neighbor and we often look after his cats when he goes on vacation.

He noticed Delilah with us and said, "Good morning fellows. And who is this pretty young thing, eh? It's not like you two to have beautiful girls tailing after you if you know what I mean." Good old Mr. Peterson, even an elderly gentleman such as himself could easily see the nature of Anthony and I's relationship.

We sat around him on the bus and Boyfriend told him, "This is Delilah. She and her parents just moved in next door to Jed."

"No kidding," he said. "And I can only guess where you'd be headed at ten o'clock in the morning on a Tuesday. Don't tell me your taking the poor lass to Lula's already."

"Oh you hush now Mr. Peterson," I said, "you'll get her scared. There's nothing wrong with the resident fairies taking our new caterpillar out on the town! She'll soon learn that there are places to be and then there's Aunt Lula's."

"Well it's no wonder she's got such good business. With nephews like you two to advertise she'll never have to pay for it!"

"Well actually I was against this whole operation from the beginning," Boyfriend chimed in.

"But you know how he always ruins all my fun, don't you Mr. Peterson?" I squished Boyfriend's cheeks with my hand and cooed, "Don't you now?"

He swatted my hands away and replaced them with a rather sour look. This whole time Delilah had sat beside us quietly, observing our interaction.

"Oh, this is our stop. Come on now sweets," I said, extending my hand to Delilah. "You too Boyf- um...boy. C'mon."

I kept a firm grip on their hands as I led them up the street and into Aunt Lula’s. Not only is she my Aunt Lula, that’s the name of her boutique as well. She’s had her shop here for as long as I can remember and my parents often speculate that spending so much time there as a kid helped me come out of my shell. Pun totally intended.

Aunt Lula sells clothes and accessories both old and new, designer and consignment. She's got mad connections all over the state so she gets like crates of designer clothes from young designers just out of college a few times a month. She's also a master seamstress herself and sells some of her own designs too. But she's so not corporate or anything so all of her prices look like they could've come straight out of Wal Mart.

When Delilah walked through Aunt Lula's bead curtained door she looked like she'd stepped into heaven. Where the hell has this girl been all her life?

"Lula!" Boyfriend called. "Your favorite nephews are here!"

"But how are you both her nephews?" Delilah asked. "You're not brothers."

"Oh she just calls us both her nephews because we've been together for so long," Anthony told her.

I mentally slapped him and saved Delilah's innocent little mind myself. "Together as best friends he means. We go practically everywhere together you know. If we wore pajamas I'd call us bananas," I said. They stared at me with twin expressions of confusion, Boyfriend for the half-lie and Lila for the bananas remark. But I waved it off as Aunt Lula came out of the back room.

"Auntie!" I squealed as I stepped forward to hug her. "Gosh you'll never believe it, I finally got neighbors!"

"You mean raccoons? Sweetheart they're one in the same; they'll peek through your windows, root through your garbage and make no apologies," she laughed her wheezy, raspy laugh and looked over my shoulder, finally noticing Delilah. "Who's this piece of candy here? Jed honey, don't tell me you've started bringing girls home now! You keep an eye on your boy," she warned Anthony.

"This is Delilah," Boyfriend told her, taking Delilah's shoulders and moving her in front of himself. "She's one of the knew neighbors."

"Hello Miss," Delilah said, shaking Lula's hand. "My parents wouldn't let me go to Jed's house anyway because they always tell me that boys are only after one thing."

"Shit!" Lula said. "Oh, pardon my French honey. But trust me, whatever your parents think Jed might be after, I think he's already found it and it ain't with you." she laughed again and Boyfriend and I stole an Eskimo kiss from behind Delilah. "And please hun, call me Lula."

"Okay...Lula. I really love your shop. I've never seen clothes like any of these before! Mother prefers to pick out most of the things I wear, unfortunately."

"Where the hell have you been all your life?!" Aunt Lula exclaimed. "Let me show you around. Pick out anything you like!"

Delilah followed Lula around the shop somewhat timidly, as she heaped clothes into her arms. I could tell that Lula's groovy Earth Mother exterior was a whole new flavour of ice cream for her, but she was being pretty chill about it. My caterpillar was already growing!

As Lula and Lila danced around the boutique Boyfriend drew me into the back room. "What's up dumpling?" I asked him sweetly.

"Why did you tell Delilah we we're best friends?" he asked.

"Well we are, aren't we? You know I'm the milk to your Oreo, the pencil to your sharpener. Well actually," I smiled, "if we're being accurate I think you'd be the pencil."

"Jed this is no time for cheesy innuendos," he scolded me. "You know what I meant."

Moses, how does he do that! Of course I knew what he meant, I just thought I could distract him with my sexiness and make him forget all about it with a quick make-out. But when Boyfriend wants to know something no amount of sexy Jerome and kissing will get in the way. Shame.

"Ok," I gave in. "But do you remember how freaked she was when she saw is holding hands last night? She'd have a level 5 conniption fit if she even saw us now." Boyfriend had his hands on my hips and my arms we're draped lazily over his shoulders. Not exactly the kind of thing she'd be used to seeing in the Bible. "I can't go around calling you Boyfriend in front of her. She probably doesn't even know what gay is. Her parents would most def. banish any contact if they knew she'd been taken to cloud 9 by two fairies!"

He smiled and said, "So you have to actually use my name when we're around her? Man, let's hang out with her everyday!" My jaw dropped and I blinked at him. "But seriously," he continued, "I get it. We'll have to tone it down and ease her in to the idea of, well, us."

"Good boy," I said. "Now kiss me."

Boyfriend complied enthusiastically and we kissed for a while longer until we decided that we'd better get back to Delilah and Aunt Lula, for Delilah's sake. Meeting Aunt Lula for the first time is an experience better not had alone. Boyfriend still has reservations from when he first met her.

When we appeared back in the shop Aunt Lula was standing outside of the changing rooms with her hands on her hips looking quite pleased. Then Delilah stepped out from behind the curtained changing room and showed us the outfit Aunt Lula had chosen for her.

"Well how do you like it guys?" she asked spinning around so her skirt flared out like an umbrella.

"You look gorgeous!" Anthony told her.

"I feel pretty," she replied sweetly.

"Whoa! My ass is vibrating!" Boyfriend and Lula chuckled at this but Delilah looked rather perplexed.

"That can't be normal," she said.

"Not literally sweets, just my phone in my back pocket," I explained. I took it out and answered it when I saw that it was Mom.

"Jerome, honey do you know where Delilah is? Her parents are here and they don't know where she's gone. They're waiting in the living room right now and they are the only thing keeping me from screaming at you," my mother said sweetly.

I drew the phone away from my ear and yelled, "Buzzcocks! It's my Mom and she's got your parents in the living room wondering where you've gone!"

"Damn. And I thought our kidnapping skills had improved since last time," Boyfriend quipped. "Not even gone an hour and already they've caught us."

I put the phone back to my ear and said, "Hello, Mom?"

"Jerome? This is Delilah's father. Let me speak with her please."