The August Project

“Oh, he is going to kill you,” I said with wide eyes to Jed.

“Kill me?? But all I did was rescue you from the depths of polyester and bad linen. Sweets, I know why he doesn’t like me but making you live any longer in your old wardrobe is really punishment enough. Now talk to the man!” Jed said, shoving the phone in my direction. Cautiously I took it, having never spoken on a cell phone before. My parents said it would make lumps in my brain. Ew.

“H-Hello?” I muttered nervously into the phone. I couldn’t hear anything.

“Flip it around,” Anthony sighed, going to sit down in a chair. “This is going to be a long day.”

“Quiet, you! Can’t you see the girl is terrified? Poor thing is shaking in her hideous boots,” he pouted. I raised an eyebrow and looked down at my feet. I wasn’t even wearing boots. “Sweets, I know they’re hidden in your closet scaring away the monsters. If they’re cowboy boots, I’m going to kill myself.”

Well, there was one secret I was keeping. I took Anthony’s advice and flipped the phone around, but now I could hear her father yelling at me in almost inaudible words.

“I think I liked it the other way around,” I muttered to myself.

“Where on Earth are you, child? How dare you leave the house without my permission. That was not how we raised you!” my father’s stern voice finally connected a string of sentences together in a somewhat audible voice.

“I’m sorry, Father. I didn’t think you’d mind. I thought you’d be happy I was making friends,” I said somewhat sadly. Who was I kidding? I knew that my parents didn’t like me talking to strangers, or anyone in general. I may not understand them sometimes, but I at least understood that.

“What did I tell you about that boy?” he replied harshly.

“You said not to be alone with him,” I said back to him. “But I’m not alone with him. Anthony’s here and so is Jed’s auntie.”

“I don’t trust either of those two boys. They’re already taking advantage of you.”

“They aren’t taking advantage of me, they’re taking me shopping,” I replied, somewhat confused. Unless shopping was taking advantage. In that case, I loved it when they took advantage of me. It was rather fun.

“Although shopping with you does sometimes borderline on abuse,” Anthony muttered under his breath.

“Shut up. I got you dressing better, didn’t I?” Jed replied after smacking Anthony on the shoulder. For a moment I paused and looked between the two boys. Violent little things, weren’t they? I’d have to tell them later that violence was never the answer, but for now I had to deal with the wrath of my father.

“One minute they’re shopping with you, the next minute they have you stuffed into a change room doing God knows what,” my father said gruffly.

“Oh, they already did stuff to me in the change room,” I replied sweetly. “Very fun stuff, actually.”

“Excuse me?!” he yelled. Seriously, he almost broke my eardrum, I was fairly certain. I held the phone away from my ear for awhile while he ranted and raged, soon growing bored and tired of it all. What person in their right mind wanted to stand there and listen to someone yell at them?

“Father is most displeased,” I said to the boys, covering the mouth piece of the phone. It was the cold, hard, truth.

“Nice one, Jed. She hasn’t even been here a week and you’ve probably gotten her grounded already,” Anthony said to him, rolling his eyes. I looked at him. There was that odd term again. Grounded. I had the urge to tell him that gravity was already effecting me, but maybe he knew that and just forgot. I wouldn’t want to embarrass him.

“Me?! Oh no, no, no. This has been ‘we’ ever since you gave me that Valentine in the eighth grade. I’m not going to let mister ‘I look like I care but I don’t’ snipe me out on a shopping trip,” Jed said back to him. I paused for a moment; he looked angry.

“What does that even mean?” I asked in confusion.

“Oh, sweets, it just means that Jed and I won’t let you go without a fight. No amount of parental discipline can keep us from being your friends,” Anthony said, standing from his seat. I watched him as he slung an arm casually around Jed’s shoulders and he smiled at me softly. Meanwhile, Jed stood there with a determined look on his face. What he was so determined about, I hadn’t a clue, but oh well.

“Delilah, hang up on him,” Jed said. Was he serious? He couldn’t be serious.

“No,” I said, my eyes wide with fear as my father continued to rant and ramble on the phone. Currently he was saying…well, I wasn’t actually quite sure what he was saying.

“Hang up,” he challenged, his eyes unblinking. Creepy.

“No,” I said, growing more frightened by the minute.

Jed sighed and went to sit down, then suddenly he ran for me. I squealed and he lunged for his phone. He pressed the button of which I assumed to be the off one, considering the voice on the other side of the phone wasn’t yelling anymore.

“What did you do that for?!” I asked, my voice next to screaming. Now, I wasn’t one to scream at people, mostly because it was incredibly rude, but it seemed like now it was a good time to take up that certain little hobby.

“There’s no need to get hysterical now, sweets. I just didn’t appreciate your popos using my minutes for a mad rant that would really have more effect in person. So, we’re just going to high-tail it on over there so he can yell at your more. Okay?”

“There are so many things that are wrong with those sentences, but I don’t want to get yelled at!” I said frantically in reply to Jed. What on Earth was he thinking?

“Well we can’t very well keep you here, can we? What’s the worst that could happen, he grounds you? Takes away your dessert, tv, computer?” Anthony reasoned.

“I don’t even know what grounded means, I’m not allowed to eat anything that’s not in my diet, and I don’t use electronics often!” I said, running around the store trying to find my normal things. “You do not want to be near him when he yells. I’ve probably committed about a dozen sins by his definition and I’ll be stuck on freaking slave duty for a month.”

“I hate it when they get hysterical,” I overhead Jed whisper to Anthony. “Well then calm the fuck down!”

“Did you just curse at me?” I asked, my mouth gapping open. How rude! That was one of the worst things a person could do to disrespect another person. Meanie.

“We’ll just take you home as soon as possible, explain to your grand marshall that normal teenagers do go shopping and things will get sorted out,” he said. How he could be so freaking calm, I wasn’t even sure.

“He’s not my grand marshall,” I said. Whatever the heck that meant. “He’s my father.”

“Okay, Jed, I think your queer dialect is confusing her. Let’s just get her home,” Anthony piped in. What did that mean?

“Ugh, okay fine!” he said, lunging for me again. I threw up my hands in defense, but he grabbed my wrist and started pulling me to the entrance, well I suppose exit, of the store. “Come on sweets.”

“But, my clothes!” I asked, looking desperately over my shoulder at the area where the change rooms were. I couldn’t very well leave them, could I?

“Just keep the ones you’ve got on. It’s no trouble, and be sure you come back for more,” Lula replied cheerfully as her two nephews booted me out of the store. Okay, that was awful nice of her, but how was I going to explain that to my parents? They were going to say I looked like a prostitute. I have no idea what a prostitute is, but they always tell me not to look like one. Maybe it’s a bad thing?

“Father isn’t going to let me see you guys,” I said to them as we dashed down the street. “He already said I can’t be alone with Jed.”

“Honey, how many times do we have to tell you, Jed’s not a threat! My gosh your house sounds so uptight, I can’t imagine how you’d survive at mine,” Anthony muttered and rolled his eyes.

“Why would I have to survive at your house? That would defeat the purpose of my house.” These boys just kept saying weirder and weirder things by the minute. Soon I was going to need a translator just to understand them. Good Lord. This time they ignored me and plopped me on a bus. They talked in hushed voices the entire time, much to my dismay.

By the time we got home, I could see father pacing back and forth in front of the living room window. I gulped and stood at the end of the driveway.

“We’re just gonna uhm…” Jed said nervously. Oh, he saw how badly father wanted to rip his head off. Great, there goes my one chance of having friends.

“Bye,” Anthony said quickly, tugging on Jed’s arm into they speedily went inside Jed’s house. Oh crud.

I looked at the front door and bit my nail. It seemed so terrifying. With a deep breath I walked forward, ready to listen to my fate. Or pee my pants.