The Past Always Comes Back

When I walked back into Nate’s room he was awake. He had his face buried in his pillow and was groaning.

Hangover, no doubt. I smiled to myself. That’s what he gets.

“Here.” I said standing beside the bed holding the glass of water and Tylenol bottle. Nate rolled towards me taking both out of my hands.

“Thank you.” He mumbled before he took two pills and downed the water.

“I met Billy. He’s nice.” I smiled down at Nate as he winced.

“Don’t. Talk. Noise. Hurts.” He managed to say.

“Oh I’m sorry Nate, are you hung-over by any chance?” I said sweetly.

“Don’t even start Maya.” He whispered closing his eyes.

“What? You don’t want to hear it, blah blah. Well too bad, cause I’m dishing it out.” I said getting worked up.

“You go out, get drunk, alone! And then pretty much fall out of the bar and almost get, like, raped by some hoe bag probably full of std’s, and expect me not to get mad at you!?” I ask anger bubbling inside me.

“I’m not your problem anymore Maya. Remember? You told me to leave you alone. And that’s what I did.” He said opening his eyes back up and looking at me, realizing he wasn’t going to be getting back to sleep.

“Just because I asked you to leave me alone does NOT mean I don’t care about you.” I spat.

“Oh really? Telling some one to stay away from you is an odd way of showing you have feelings for them.” He shook his head.

“Forgive me for TRYING to forget!” I said tears welling up in my eyes.

“Maya! You can’t fucking forget! I tried!” He yelled fully getting up out of bed and placing his hands on my shoulders. He gently shook me while he spoke.

“Please,” I whispered. “I need to forget.” My voice broke as a sob escaped my lips. I crumpled into his arms and cried hard. I felt Nate’s hands rub my back as I sniffled into his bare chest.

I stopped crying as realization washed over me. I understood what he met by saying he had tried everything to forget about what had happened. I realized he had tried to drink everything away. He was an alcoholic.

“Oh my gosh, Nate.” I mumbled into his neck.

“Hmm?” He asked his face in my hair.

“The drinking… the alcohol,” I pulled away so I could look him in the eye. “You were trying to forget, by drinking?” I asked.

He looked away and nodded.

“How long have you been drinking like that?” I asked referring to last night.

“Almost a year. Pretty much ever since you moved away, and we lost contact.” He said still not meeting my gaze.

“Why didn’t you come to me sooner?” I asked wiping my eyes.

“Why would I? We weren’t close anymore… I figured you wouldn’t care. And you didn’t.” He said the last part under his breath.

“I-I do care.” I stuttered. “I just didn’t… know. If you had told me I would have been m-more sensitive.” I tried not knowing which words to use.

He frowned laughing. “Nice try. Whatever.” He said shaking his head.

“No, Nate! Not ‘whatever’.” I said. “I’m here now, aren’t I?” I asked.

“Yeah, but you were only here to get mad at me.” He smiled.

I rolled my eyes. “Just shut up and let me help you!” I said smiling.

He laughed. “Fine. It’s not that bad anymore… I only drink now when I get really upset.”

“What upset you last night?” I asked clueless.

He raised his eyebrows. “You haven’t figured it out yet?” He asked.

I shook my head.

“You made me upset. I thought I was loosing you… again.” He sighed. “I thought I was never going to see you again.”

“Oh.” Was all I managed to say. I sat down on his bed and he sat beside me.

“Well I’m not going anywhere now.” I said grabbing his hand.