The Past Always Comes Back

First thing Monday I called Nate. The phone rang twice before he picked up.

“Maya?” He asked confused.

“Hi, Nate. Do you think you could meet me at a café in twenty minutes?” I asked hopeful.

“Um, yeah…” He said suspicious.

“I just need to ask you something.” I told him. He assured me he would be there and I rattled off the address to a café I always go to before classes.

Twenty minutes later I was sitting at a table starring out the front window of the little café, across from Nate.

I had a cappuccino and Nate had black coffee... just like we always used to get before school started last year.

Nate cleared his throat and I looked at me. I stopped looking out the window and turned to Nate.

“I need to ask you something. It’s important to me Nate, so please just hear me out.” I said.

He nodded and raised his eyebrows patiently.

“Can you please just get on with you’re life and leave me alone? I don’t mean to sound rude… but I’m trying to forget everything, you know?” I said trying not to sound mean.

He looked confused and almost hurt at first but then he seemed to understand.

“When you came to see me on Friday I started thinking about everything. About James… about us. How we used to be.” I spoke softly not wanting to hurt his feelings.

Nate’s P.O.V.

“…How we used to be.” Maya said quietly.

I nodded knowing exactly what she meant. We used to be so close. We were best friends. Not to mention I used to love her. And I’m pretty sure she knew it. We used to joke around and flirt but we never actually dated. I had been waiting to ask her out, but she always had a boyfriend. After James died, we grew apart and I forgot how much I loved her.

Until Friday when I saw her in her apartment doorway, standing in her pyjama shorts and big t-shirt. Her long brown hair messed up and her hazel eyes heavy with sleep. I remember thinking that she had just woken up, and that sent me into thinking about how she used to fall asleep next to me some nights.

Whenever she had fought with a friend, or a boyfriend she’d come over to my house, or call me and we’d spend the night together. Her usually crying and me holding her. That, or eating ice cream and watching scary movies.
I did that only because I loved her much more then I thought she knew. I just had to find the right time to tell her. But it never came.

“So this is goodbye?” I asked looking at her and biting my lip.

A sharp pain struck me as I bit my lip ring. I must have winced in pain because Maya looked worried and asked, “Are you okay?”

I nodded.

She thought for a moment and said, “Yeah… I guess this is goodbye.” She pushed out her chair and pulled her coat on. She started to walk away.

“Maya,” I called out standing up.

She turned around with one hand on the door.

“You know you’ll never be able to forget it. Even if you forget me. Trust me, I’ve tried everything.” I said thinking about the past few months.

She looked at me curiously but didn’t move.

“I’m not trying to forget you,” She said speaking quietly again, “I’m just trying to forget the nightmares I’ve had… the feeling in the pit of my stomach that tells me it’s my fault. I’ve been ignoring it all, just telling my self it’s you’re fault... because it was easier then admitting that I could have stopped it.” She said her eyes welling up with tears.

Before I could say anything more, she pulled the door open and was lost in the sea of Monday morning madness.