As You Wish

A few days, a few weeks, it didn’t matter because it still meant that he wasn’t even close to being near me again. They had give me the boot to go home, I was more than happy to go home... it did beat being in a hospital.

Once I was home, I stared at the small pile of suitcases; I had no intention of unpacking at that moment. I walked up to my room, just being tired.

John would call everyday, I had my bet that he would call every hour if he weren’t that busy. But then the calls had narrowed down to a few times a day before it just went to one time a day, then it got to every other day. I found myself not even waiting around for his call.

I wasn’t going to get mad if he was busy and just didn’t have time, since he was on tour. I should be glad he was calling. Now I was just living my life like he didn’t even exist.

2 months had gone by, surely I would have been excited to know that the end was near, to where I would see John once again, but I was just acting like I would if I didn’t even know him. The calls for one just stopped altogether. It wasn’t something I was going to linger on.

I remained in the living room, my finger being tangled in my hair that now just a little below my shoulders, mid chest. My eyes glued to the screen that had The Maine on it, they were being interviewed. Feeling the pain grow, I quickly turned off the TV and covered my face up. Pretty much seeing him was my weakness; I just couldn’t see or stare at his face.

A few weeks later, I was cleaning my house, just letting the time pass me by. I pulled my hair into a messy ponytail before I continued the cleaning spree. There was a knock that got my attention, since I didn’t get any visitors. I leaned the mop against the counter before processing to the door; I took a deep breath and unlocked the door. To my shock, John O'Callaghan was standing there, I closed the door quickly.

“Umm… Ella…” John said with that laugh that made the butterflies in my stomach grow, I hugged my stomach tightly.

I stood there breathless and just staring at the door, I swallowed hard just trying to regain my breathing, before even making the effect, it just went black. I didn’t know how long I had passed out for, but it only seemed like a few seconds, I slowly opened my eyes and put my hand on my head, where I felt a wet rag on it, I slowly took it off and sat up.

“Finally you’re up, I didn’t think you would be waking up anytime soon, I was about to take you to the hospital…” John’s voice entered my ears, the voice that I had totally forgotten about.

“So I guess this where I thank you and you just move on with your life…” I mumbled and slowly looked over to where he was sitting.

“Well thanking me would be nice, but it’s not necessary…”

“What are you doing here John?” I said cutting him off, I threw my legs off my couch and sat up more, looking over that face that made me feel more than just a sick girl.

“What do you mean? I’ve came to see you silly. I mean I did promise to come back to you. You don’t look to happy to see me…” John said before he slowly sat in front of me on the coffee table.

“Of course I’m not happy to see you, you jerk!” I said and threw the rag at him, which he caught and just placed it next to him like it wasn’t a threat.

“I made my promise Ella, I came back to you!” John said slowly putting his hands on my hands and smiling widely.

“I can see that stupid! I’m not blind! I was starting to forget about you, I mean you were just fading; I was acting like I didn’t even know you and it was doing me wonders. But then you pop up on my damn TV and there I am just hurting because of you… you got the best of me, you made me fall so hard its impossible to even recover.” I told him pushing his hands away and taking the breath that my lungs were dying for.

“It’s because I wasn’t calling you…” John said a little slowly, he let his hands rest on his lap. “I was meaning to call you Ella; I put it on my life… I just got so catch up with everything… and wait… you were letting yourself forget about me? How could you do that?” John’s voice sounding hurt along with his eyes.

“You didn’t call; I was losing hope on you even coming back. I was expecting the fact that you were just living your life the way you wanted it… and wait do not turn this around on me John O'Callaghan!” I said and threw myself back, crossing my arms.

“I know I fucked up and I’m willing to make it up to you Ella. You just use my whole name that’s kind of hot…” John said quickly recovering and that smile was on his lips, of course there I was melting.

“More like damaged, destroyed, bombed, made a big disaster out of my feelings, which were in fact doing well until your surprise appearance!” I said and shook my finger at him; he got my finger and brought it to his lips as he got close.

“So saying sorry is out of the question, I just might have to prove to you that I feel just as bad as you felt these last few months, you can ask Dana, she’ll say I was doing badly when I didn’t call you…” He mumbled against my finger.

“You should know that I don’t hate you, I just missed you…” I whispered and got my finger free from his grip.

“I missed you too…” He whispered back before he slowly opened his arms to me.

“Oh hold your horse cowboy; I’m not giving in that easily. You my kind sir need to earn it…” I said softly before I slowly leaned forward and just rest on my arms which were resting on my lap.

“Well then evil Ella, I mean it is fair but to allow me to stay with you, so I could prove my love and such to you…”

I stared at him for some time and slowly leaned back. I crossed my arms again and sighed deeply. Watching his expression changed to looking uneasy, I smiled just a little. “Fine…. You have a lot of making up to do…” I said seriously, I felt it was only right.

“You know… I have to be honest with you Ella. While I was on tour, I did meet a few girls here and there… but I didn’t do anything more than just kiss…” He mumbled in a low tone, before getting to his feet.

“Nothing more but just kiss… girls here and there… why don’t you just tattoo open 24 hours on your forehead John? I’m not surprised on that… No I wasn’t your girlfriend, I sure felt like I was.” I stayed on the couch and crossed my arms; the lump was slowly forming in my throat. “Why don’t you just stab me in the heart now before the cancer gets the chance to kill me?”

“The kisses didn’t last long… I pushed them away because you kept popping into my head… I knew I was hurting you if I continued…” John said his eyes roaming over to me.

“Sorry for be a cock blocker John…”

“Ella stop, I know I did something bad… but I’m going to prove that I won’t do anything to hurt you not again…” John’s voice was filled with hurt and sorrow.

“Fine…” I had said before going off to my room, I slowly sat on the bed, wondering what was happening, why everything was taking the sharps turns down a bad road. I just wanted things to be clear once again, to where I don’t have to be hiding.inypic.com/otjlg7.jpg[/img]