As You Wish

The next day wasn’t as pleasant as the one before, of course John stayed, he made himself at home in one of the other rooms, I wouldn’t have felt great if I were to kick him out. I guess life to me was having more then a few chances, I was wondering if he could even make it up, or was I just one of the girls like the ones he met on tour, just a kiss it and ditch it. But I would have never known if I didn’t give the guy another chance.

I slowly headed down the stairs, my arms crossed over my chest; there was the scent of coffee filling the air. I slowly headed over to kitchen seeing John there pouring coffee into two mugs. I slowly stepped back heading for the living room.

“Ella, you’re going to have to talk to me some time…” John called out before coming out of the kitchen holding both coffee mugs. “Unsure of how you like your coffee so I just did whatever…” He explained and then handing a cup to me.

I stared down into the cup and slowly grabbed it. “So I could be sipping into a sugar coma…” I stated before I sat myself down on the couch.

“If you were in a coma then it wouldn’t give the chance to prove my word to you…” John said as he sat down next to me.

I looked into the cup it was normal, but I didn’t know if I was going to like it. I slowly brought the cup to my lips and took a small sip, it was actually good, and it wasn’t that strong either. I looked over to him after I had taken a few more drinks.

“Answer me this, what makes you think I should give that extra chance? And will I be risking more if I let you?” I asked him and set the mug on the table.

“Because I’m a guy that deservers more than just two chances… and I wouldn’t make you unhappy with what I will bring to you… and I don’t think you will be risking anything…” John said before drinking his coffee.

“You don’t see life giving me a second chance at living… my days are numbered John.”

“How do you know its not giving you that second chance? I mean if it really wanted you dead Ella you wouldn’t be here right now. And when are you going to drop that stupid act, so everyone could feel sorry for you, you’re not the only one on this damn earth who has cancer, and their not staying indoors and just letting it ruin them, their out living it to the fullest… when are you going to get off the stupid train of depression?” John just spilled out, as he put his cup on the table.

My head turned to him quickly once I heard what he had to say, I swallowed hard and then looked forward, my head shaking slightly. “Because I’m not one the strong ones who go out and just live it up, it’s something I can’t get over…” I mumbled and then looked down at my lap. “I’m sorry, I don’t just get over it like its not there… because it’s something that will always be there…”

I made a face towards the out come of this conversation; even if he was only stating what he thought was there. “So do you expect me to go out there and live it up?” I asked in a low tone.

“I expect you to do more than just that…” John answered in a low tone.

“So should I call up a few guys and just make out with them, and then come back to you saying you were the one I was thinking of?” I asked with a slight laugh, I kept my eyes on my lap. John had gone quiet for while, but honestly I was trying my hardest to control the laughing that was making my body shake.

“Oh… that’s just mean Ella…” John finally said laughing a little. He put his arm around me; once again I felt the comfort that I always felt.

“You’re the one whose mean, you can’t come to me saying you’re thinking of me while kissing them…”

“You weren’t there; you don’t know what I’m thinking…”

“You obviously weren’t thinking at all, if you were going out making out with other girls…”

“Like I said before and much more times after this one, I am sorry for what I’ve done… And you haven’t looked at the big picture…” John said before kissing my forehead and pulling me closer to his side.

“What big picture John? There isn’t one…”

“But there is Ella. Think for a moment here, I’m here with you, if I weren’t thinking at all, I wouldn’t be here talking to you, I would be with one of them…”

“You do have a point there, but you still have the making up to do…” I said before looking up at him, his eyes already staring into mine.

“And I’m wiling to do it with love…”

“Just don’t put me into a sugar coma…”

“I give no promises babe…”

I laughed slightly at him, as my eyes roamed his face slowly, just soaking in the moment that he was finally next to me and no one else. Slowly my arm had made its way around his waist as my head rest on his shoulder slowly. I was now feeling relaxed, and content. Later in the day, John had gone off to plan out the night, leaving me alone at home. Once he returned, I was passing out on the couch, I was a little tired.

“GET UP!!” John yelled as he ran up the stairs and went into his room, I was guessing. I groaned slightly and slowly sat up on the couch. “Let’s go… we’re going to the beach…” John announced holding blankets.

“You took half the day up to come up with that idea, John it’s late…” I said with a tired voice, crossing my arms.

“Get real its only 6…”

“The sun is setting… to me it’s late…” I said with a small yawn before I slowly leaned back against the couch.

“Ella… work with me here, now just get up, get your shoes on…” John demanded, and stomped his foot, losing patients with me.

“But I’m still in my pajamas…”

“So you’ll be warm and comfortable then, just get your shoes on and let’s go before I call off this evening…” John said crossing his arms, the blankets hanging over his arms.

“I didn’t know you could get so bossy…” I mumbled as I passed him, he laughed a little. I walked up to my room where I put my shoes on and got a sweater on. I headed down to him, his hand extended out to me, I gladly took it.

We got into his car, I grabbed the blankets that were being passed over to me and placed them on my lap. I leaned my head back, and looked out the window tiredly. The drive to the beach was quiet but I didn’t mind, I didn’t really have the strength to talk.

Once we got to the beach and parked, I got out of the car holding the blankets, right away I got the chills when the breeze brushed my cheeks. I smiled slightly before following John, who held some plastic bags and he now had a sweater on.

John had stopped shortly after finding a spot that was fine, he turned to me and flashed a quick smile before moving on to what I could tell was going to be a bonfire. Offering any kind of help, he rejected it and told me to just set out the blankets. After some time, he had it going and the heat from it was really pleasant. John slowly fixed a few more logs before joining me on the blanket and wrapped the extra one around us.

“So far so good?” He questioned me and smiled as he wrapped his arm around me, I slowly leaned on him.

“So far so good…” I answered and took in the bit of the salty air; my eyes remained on the fire.

“Are you thirsty or anything?”

“Um… yes I am...”

John reached over into one of the bags and pulled out a juice box and put the straw in. He handed to me before returning to his arm around me.

“Juice… that’s hardcore…” I said with a small laugh before slowly taking a few sips.

“We don’t need alcohol to have fun…”

“No, we don’t…” I agreed and slowly looking up to him before looking back to the fire. For a while it got quiet between us, just the cracking of the wood and the crashing of the waves was only heard.

“Ella…” John finally said, he reached over and pulled some box out of the bag, I watched him closely.

“Yes?” I answered and slowly looked over his face before looking down to the box that placed in front of me.

“This is why I was gone half the day; I was trying to pick out the right one…”

“Right one?” I asked him getting the box into my hold; I slowly looked backed at him.

“Just open it…” He said slowly, his hand going to his neck; he rubbed it slightly before dropping his hand, now watching me.

I took a deep breath and slowly looked back to the box; I slowly lift the top part which revealed a silver necklace, there was a sliver heart locket on it. I bit my bottom lip hard at it, to me it was just prefect, I was pretty much speechless, and I looked back up at John.

“Do you like it?” He asked me softly.

I nodded quickly to him, I let go of my lip and swallowed hard. “You didn’t have to get me this John…” I whispered to him and looked back down at the necklace.

“Of course I did, its something I wanted you to have, when I first saw it, it sort of just caught my eye and it reminded me of you…”

“I really do like it, its pretty…” I whispered still taken away. I carefully grabbed it out of the box and looked over it as it rest on my hand. John got it out of my hold before he put it on me.

I looked up at him; I knew I was falling harder; it was still scaring me that I was. I really didn’t want to be, I just was scared that one of us would be leaving sooner or later. Of course the thought of me dying had got to my head, sending me into tears that didn’t seem unstoppable.

“Ella, are you okay?” John asked in a concerned tone, he quickly wrapped his arms around me.

“I’m just scared now….” I chocked out, the tears streaming down my cheeks. “I just… don’t want to die… I don’t want to leave you…” I whispered and closed my eyes tightly for a moment.

“You’re not going to leave me; I’ve told you before you’re going to die at an old age, its going to be years until then…”

I nodded to him; I was now going to believe that. I stayed in his arms until I was fully calm, once I was I pulled away and brought his head down and kissed him softly, he kissed back, pulling me closer to him. I wrapped my arms around his neck before pulling away and rested my forehead against his.

As the evening continued, there wasn’t anymore crying, it finally felt calm. John had made me laugh a few times, and I didn’t leave his side for a moment, like I mentioned before being near him felt like the cancer couldn’t hurt me, I felt free and more alive.