As You Wish

As the day processed, it was calm and just sort of peaceful. I gathered some clothes from my suitcase that John had packed it for me. I grabbed some sweats and a shirt along with a bra and underwear. I headed for the restroom, letting John sleep, he was still tired and I knew that little episode probably made him more tired.

I piled my clothes on the counter and stared at myself in the mirror. I made a face at the person who was staring back at me and then turned to the shower, I turned on the water waiting for it to be warm, and once it was I stripped in step inside.

My eyes wonder down to my hand where the ring that was now representing me as a married girl, no longer the single person. I stood under the water for some time; I didn’t really move much, due to the day dreaming. Every time I saw something good it some how ended bad.

Not even in my day dreams was I cancer free, but I didn’t really want to dwell on that, I slowly stepped out of the water to continue my shower, once I was done, I didn’t want to get out, I felt comfortable there in the warmth of the water.

“Oh wow, it’s hot in here…” I heard John’s voice that snapped me out of another day dream, I heard the door close.

“John what are you doing in here?!” I sort of panicked; I stayed in my spot and only wrapping my arms around my waist.

“Calm down Ella, I just wanted to come in here and check on you…” John said with a softly laugh which had sent a smile to my face right away.

“As you can tell, I’m fine…” I said and then turned off the water; I slowly poked my head out of the side of the shower curtain and looked at him. “Mind handing me a towel…” I said and reached my arm for it.

John’s smile had turned into a smirk; he grabbed a towel and only held it out half ways. “Come out and get it…” He said and looked at me.

I stared at him and sighed deeply. “Please…” I begged him. I was never into my body; it wasn’t much without the clothes that hid it. I was an ugly skinny, it wasn’t by choice but by being sick and everything, I had a few scars that were from surgeries.

John smirked quickly disappeared and he handed the towel, I got it gently and went behind the curtain and wrapped it around my body. I stepped out of the shower and held onto the towel. I looked at John; he didn’t look away, so I did.

“Come here…” He said as he sat on the toilet, he had his arm out for me.

“I kind of want to change though…” I said uncomfortably, I slowly looked over to him.

“Ella don’t make me grab you.”

I made the few steps towards him and then was pulled onto his lap; I got comfortable and held onto the towel still. I looked at him before looking down at my lap.

“What else are you hiding from me?” He asked me softly and placed a kiss on my cheek.

“My body…” I said with a small laugh. “I’m not trying to sound like every other person who has body issues, but I don’t really like my body. There are scars and bones popping out that I wish I could eat and hide them…” I confessed and looked at him once again.

“I’m sure once you’re fully healthy every one of those problems will be gone, expect the scars, but those could fade…” John said as he wrapped his arms around my waist.

I laughed a little and shrugged to him. “I guess…” I said and smiled.

John leaned in and kissed me… it wasn’t the normal way, it was different more passionate. It had caught me off guard for a second, I kissed him back. I held onto my towel with one hand and slowly rested my other hand on his neck.

Needless to say that the kiss had lead to more than just a make out session in the restroom, somewhere from the heavy breathing and pressing of our bodies, we both had met the bed.

Some time later we both laid there on the bed, I had my arms wrapped around John, his arms around my waist, his head rest against my chest. I closed my eyes slowly and had regained my breathing. We didn’t move for a while and the silence between us wasn’t awkward or weird.

I had fallen asleep in the spot I was, I still held onto him. I felt really comfortable and relaxed; the sleep was something I needed for a while. Once I woke up, I was covered up more and John was no longer next to me. I sighed slightly and turned onto my back, keeping a hold of the blankets.

A small yawn escaped from my mouth, I covered my mouth. I looked over to where John was he stood in front of the window in his boxers, his hands pressed against the glass, his forehead leaning against it. I smiled and climbed out of bed and walked over to the bedroom and put my clothes on. After I headed over to John and stood next to him.

“I don’t think I can handle living here…” John stated as he looked over to me, be brought me in front of him, resting his hands on my waist.

“Why do you say that?” I asked him and rest my hands on his shoulders; I looked over his face and kept the smile on my lips.

“I don’t know I don’t want to be addicted to gambling.” He said and laughed a little. “Where would you like to live?”

“Um, I always enjoyed being near the city… so like New York…” I said and shrugged slightly.

“New York?”

“Yeah, I don’t know. I never really thought about it…”

“What about Los Angeles?”

“Its near Hollywood so yeah I guess.”

John wrapped his arms around my waist and brought me closer to him. “How would you like to have an apartment that out looked to the city of Los Angeles?”

“I would like that very much…” I said and smiled to more to him. “Why do you ask?”

“Well for starters, I’ve been looking for apartments there and I had my eye on one. And by the time we’re married and all, I’m sure we could get it and start out our new life together…” John explained and then kissed me softly.

“There’s no complaints coming from me, I love the idea.” I said before I kissed him back.

“Good because it would suck to find out that another couple has our dream apartment.”

“We have a dream apartment?” I asked and smiled a little. “Awe, sort of like Barbie’s dream house…”

“Weren’t you listening babe, you even agreed to it. Did you already forget?” He asked and then made a face. “Barbie’s dream house no our apartment will not be like her house, she’s a slut…”

“How dare you call her a slut…” I said trying to sound hurt by his remark. “But then again… she did have the slut vibe going on…”

“She was the doll that did it all…” John stated and nodded.

“You know more about Barbie than I do. What did you play with them as you grew up?” I asked and smirked slightly.

“NO! I’m not a girl nor do I want to be one, I’m happy with what I am…”

“A guy who plays with Barbie…”

“Yes… wait no, no, no. Stop that…” John said with a small pout.

“I’m sorry. Barbie girl…”

“Ella, you’re being mean to me…”

“Okay, I’m done.” I said and laughed; I kissed his cheek and smiled.

“So we went to gambling, places, apartments, dream houses to Barbie and then me. I have to say, our conversations aren’t at all dull.”

“Barbie --” I started by was stopped by John’s hand.

“No more babe…” John had begged with a small smile.

“As you wish…” I said from behind his hand.

“I love you too…” He said with a full smile.

From that moment on the rest of the day was perfected. I was seeing my life turn into a new direction and it was a new path. I was really hoping that after the wedding everything would just go smoothly for us.

As for my feelings they couldn’t be explained, I didn’t know how he was doing it, but I was now just living to for him, I felt free and I wasn’t worried about how I looked or how I felt. He made me feel normal and I admire him for doing that.