As You Wish

How do you tell someone that you’re pregnant? The words could be chosen perfectly, the time could be just right, but then again the person you’re telling could either freak out or be really excited and happy for you. I honestly didn’t want John or anyone else for that matter to just freak out on me. I didn’t want to tell 3 week pregnant Dana that I was also on the same boat as her. She seemed so excited and I really didn’t want to kill her mood with my news.

I was doubting my pregnancy, I couldn’t be pregnant it sounded ridiculous as it repeated in my head, I was trying to picture myself taking care of a baby, my baby. It just couldn’t click. But the only reason why I was thinking this way is because I couldn’t picture myself being a mother, only I saw myself as Ella the girl with cancer, that’s it.

As of now I stood in the restroom and had the front of my shirt raised, revealing my bare stomach that showed the smallest lump, it wasn’t big but it sure did send a smile to my face. I moved my hand over it and swallowed hard. I just couldn’t believe this was happening.

It was early in the morning, I figured I would just stand here and spend some alone time with the unknown baby that was growing inside of my stomach. I was off in a daze just picturing my future with him or her, watching the three of us just being a happy family, my head was tilted the side slightly.

I felt the awkward feeling shooting through my body that cause me to snap out of my little fantasy, I looked over to the door way and quickly pulled my shirt down and looked at John slightly embarrassed, his eyes still showed that he wasn’t fully awake.

I waited for the questions, the curiosity that might have taken over John due to what he saw. I stared at him and slowly moved towards him, no questions were asked, I sighed of relief escaped from me as I headed for the hallway and went towards the living room and cuddled with the blanket that was there.

A few minutes later John had entered the living room looking more awake and alive; he looked over to me his powerful smile, giving me the slightest chills. He walked his way towards and sort of threw himself at me, causing me to scream out of panic and push him off; he landed on the floor a little hard.

My hands immediately went to my stomach, holding on it. I was pretty sure that he didn’t hurt the small baby or me. I looked down at him, watching as he stared at me confused and worried.

“Don’t do that anymore John please…” I said with a shaky voice and sat down back in my spot, I was positive that I pushed him off before he could do any real damage.

“Did I hurt you or something? Are you okay?” He asked me in a rush, as if he knew.

I watched as he stood up and looked at me with a very concerned face, his hands were placed on my cheeks, I automatically made eye contact with him, and I simply nodded to him, which got his hands to remove from my cheeks.

“You really scared me babe…” He said as he sat down next to me, his arm wrapped around my shoulders.

“I’m sorry, you scared me too.” I said and took a deep breath to calm down. I looked up at him and watched him.

It got quiet between us; I took my eyes off him before I got up and placed my hands on my stomach for comfort. I slowly stood in front of John and looked down at him with some pleading eyes, that would make him not want to freak out with the news I was about to pour on him.

“Ella, are you okay?” He asked and looked at me with the worried face again; I could have sworn he went a little paler.

“Yeah, I’m fine. God I just don’t know how to tell you this, I knew about it since the hospital, which isn’t that long ago…” I started and looked down at my stomach thinking over the words that could make this more pleasant for him.

“Please can’t you just tell me? I’m starting to really freak out about this…” John begged and grabbed onto my hand tightly.

I looked down at our hands and then slowly back up at him, there wasn’t going to be an easy way out of this. “I’m… I’m pregnant…” I told him with a soft tone.

John stared at me his grip on my hand not loosening up, he didn’t move for a while which got me worried about this. Did I not say it right? Is there a proper way of saying that I’m carrying your kid in my stomach?

I slowly sat down on the coffee table that was place in front of the couch, he wasn’t letting go of my hand as he watched me sit. The silence was killing me, I didn’t know if he was happy, sad, pissed or overly excited that he couldn’t handle it.

“You’re pregnant… You’re pregnant with my kid?” He asked his voice shaky and sounding scared.

“No, I’m pregnant with some one else’s kid!” I said letting my eyes go into a roll, I let go of his hand and place both my hands on my lap.

“Ella don’t fucking kid around right now! So you’re pregnant with my kid… my kid is in your stomach right now trying to live!” He said in a panic tone.

I stood up and walked away from him, I stood near the love seat; I leaned against it for support as I watch him get through his little panic stage.

“How long have you been pregnant?” He asked me finally, his eyes not looking at me. His voice was slightly demanding.

“A month…” I answered and crossed my arms over my chest, my eyes not leaving him.

“You’ve been pregnant for a damn month and you’re just telling me now that you’re pregnant!” John said and finally made eye contact with me.

Even though his eyes were making me want to look away from him, I fought against them; I fought against the uncomfortable feeling that he was sending me, making me want to just walk out of the room, but I just fought against him.

“Yes I’ve been pregnant for a month John! I didn’t know about until I was in the damn hospital, I didn’t know that I was pregnant, you also thought that this was the cancer, puking and being sick is just what I’m use to! I’ve never been pregnant before so how am I suppose to know what’s going on John!” I yelled at him and took really deep breath to calm down; I was edge of just crying. I sat down on the arm of the couch and covered my face up. I was mad, crazy pregnant women.

This isn’t how I wanted to tell him, I didn’t want to fight with him. I just wanted things to go smoothly, I just wanted him to be happy and be there. A few tears had slipped and a very small sob left from me, I felt his arms wrapped around me, I quickly wrapped my arms around his waist, burying my face into his shirt.

“Ella, I’m so sorry, I just got a little panicked about this, please don’t cry…” John’s voice was very soft and sweet, his hand moving along my back, in his way of comforting me.

It took a while for me to calm down; I finally pulled away from him and looked at the wet spot on his shirt that contain my mad women tears. I wiped my eyes and took a shaky breath; I looked up at him as his hand went through my hair.

“Its fine, just don’t think about leaving me.” I said and slowly got off the arm of the couch and stood up. His arms wrapped around my shoulders more.

The peace feeling was back and it made me a little happier. I closed my eyes enjoying that we weren’t fighting any longer.

“I can’t leave you, I just can’t. So don’t you dare think that I’m leaving you, you silly women.” John said with a small laugh.

I made a face at his little nickname as I opened my eyes and looked over his face with a wide smile, his lips were now moving against mine. I pulled away after some time and looked at him.

“What are we going to name this little baby of ours?” He asked and his eyes looking over my face.

“OH! I know.” I said happily and looked into his eyes. “Harry or Ron if it’s a boy and if it’s a little girl we’ll name her Hermione or Luna…”

“We are not naming our kid after a Harry Potter character! And don’t you dare go into Twilight…” John warned with a smirk on his lips.

“I totally would love to have a little Ron running around doing his magic with his wand…” I pouted and looked at the floor as if there really was a kid running around with a wand.

“Or a little Luna chasing him with her hand, yelling out spells to… what am I saying? No Harry Potter characters.”

“Well we don’t have to choose the name right now; we still have another 8 months to choose it.” I stated and looked up at John.

“You’re going to wait 8 months to find out what the baby is?”

“No WE’RE going to wait 8 months.”

John looked at me and shook his head quickly. “I can’t handle that, I won’t make it! I want to know the sex of the baby before it’s born!”

“Okay only because I can’t wait that long either. We’ll find out on the next doctor’s appointment to see when we could find out what the baby is.” I said and looked over his face and gave him a wide smile.

“I just don’t like waiting and especially if this is happening, I never had a kid before so this is really big.” John stated and sighed slightly.

I laughed slightly at him being impatient about this, but who could blame him, I sure couldn’t. I was just impatient as he was.