As You Wish

6 months, 3 weeks later and 7 months pregnant was almost everything I thought it would be with back pains and weird cravings with the random mood swings. I give John a lot of credit for trying everything to please me and not complain about it. I would like to say that everything was great at the moment but then I would be lying.

A few days ago I managed to get myself on the stool at the bar in front of kitchen as John tried to make something with cheese and chili. I had my hands rested on my stomach, one of my hands mindlessly roaming the large bump. There was a smile on my face at the thought of the child but it was wiped off quickly with John’s choice of words.

And now I sit mad on the bed watching John pack for tour with a disappointed head shake from time to time. With his sorrys being repeatedly said didn’t really help my mood because I knew he was still going. He finally finished packing and sat himself down on the bed next to me, facing his body towards me.

“You know you can call me anytime, or even call Dana.” He said trying to be reassuring.

I looked dead on and into his eyes before my own eyes went into an irritated roll. “Yes that’s just very helpful, if you didn’t remember that she’s also pregnant!” I said while leaning back to get comfortable, or at least tried to.

“Ella, I’m just trying to be helpful now because I won’t be able to help later.”

“I’m fine. You just go on with tour and just call if that’s not asking for too much.” I mumbled and looked down at my wedding ring and sighed deeply.

John leaned in and tried to kiss me, I simply turned my head a little getting a kiss on the corner of my lips. I looked up at him through my bangs and watched as his face turned a different level of sad; he shook his head and got off the bed leaving the room. I managed to lay myself down and get under the covers.

The next moment I was asleep. The bed felt colder as my arm moved acrossed John’s side of the bed hoping to come in contact with his body, I got nothing. I sighed slightly and opened my eyes not realizing I had slept almost half day and the whole night.

Feeling panic when I didn’t see Joh’s suitcases on the floor, I got up quickly while trying not to hurt the baby, I groaned out of annoyance and walked to the living room to see nothing but emptiness. I looked over to the kitchen table seeing a note.

“Wonderful goodbye John…” I spat at nothing and felt the panic feeling be over ruled by depression. I bit my bottom lip and looked around the living room, knowing how it was going to feel every time I woke up.

“What are you bitching about now?” I heard John ask from behind me. I turned as my fist punched his jaw, he groaned in pain and stared at me like I was a mad woman. “What the hell was that for?”

“You were going to leave with a note?” I asked through my teeth and crossed my arms over my chest.

“What? No, I wouldn’t or I couldn’t leave by a note.” John explained while rubbing his jaw. “Damn, you punch hard.” He mumbled and stared into my eyes with a small frown.

“Sorry…” I said as I lowered his hand and placed a soft kiss on his jaw. I saw the small smile creep onto his lips and frown disappeared. “You know I hate you at the moment.” I stated and stared up and into his eyes, trying not to show any sign of being sad.

“You should, I hate myself but it’s a job and you should have known that this was going to happen.” He said softly and put his hands on my ++waist as I rested my hands on his upper arms.

“I know, but right now? Really…” I whispered and sighed deeply, I gripped tighter onto his arms.

“Well you wanna still live like this don’t you? Then I gotta do this.” He whispered back and kissed my lips lightly.

“You have to give me more than just a small kiss John.” I felt the small smirk form on my lips as my hands made their way to his neck.

“Well if I must.” He barely said before his lips pressed against mine. We stood as close as we could get to each other, our hands either gripping onto some skin or clothes. I took in every moment that passed and moved a hand to his hair and gripped onto it before pulling away.

“You know I love you right?” I whipsered to him our breathing mingling together as our lips lingered over each other’s.

“I know babe, I love you too.” He whispered back his lips brushing against mine before it went into the last kiss for a long while.

We both pulled away breathless and held each other until the knock at the door let me know it was time for him to go. An uneasy sigh came from me as I looked up at him and shook my head. I took a step away from him and grabbed his hand walking him to the door.

“Be careful and don’t get hurt promise?” I opened the door and looked over to Kennedy and smiled slightly before looking back to at John.

“As you wish.” He spoke softly and gave my hand a small squeeze and then let it go.

I smiled lightly at the three words and leaned up placing one last kiss on his lips. I watched as he smiled only a little and stepped out of the apartment, not having it in me to even say bye I smiply waved. He waved back along with Kennedy and turned. I closed the door not wanting to see their backs fade or to think of being alone.

The next few days I was trying to gain courage to call my parents for support knowing that Dana didn’t need to have another pregnant woman to care for, I paced in the bedroom the house phone being squeezed to death out of nerves. I took a deep breath and dailed the number.

“Hello?” My mom answered with a happy tone.

“Hey mom, it’s Ella.” I tried to sound happy or at least normal rather than sad and scared.

“Ella? Is that really you?”

“Sure is…”

“Is everything okay? How are you?” She asked sounding worried.

“First off, I want to say that I’m sorry for thinking I don’t need anyone, for pushing everyone away when they were just trying to help me. And I hope that everyone doesn’t hate because I really, really, really do need help and some kind of support.” I said rather quickly and took a deep breath at the end to calm myself.

“We don’t hate you Ella; never can we hate our daughter. Grace doesn’t hate you either, we only worried about you and glad that you’re letting us into your life now rather than later.” My mom said kindly.

“Good, I missed you guys and I was wondering if it was possible if you could pick me up?” I asked softly and sat down on the edge of the bed.

With a few more moments of talking and giving my mom the address I was off the phone and packing for the few months of living with my parents. It took longer than it normally would have but I did manage to get it done. I patiently waited in the living room for the knock at the door but instead I got the door pushed opened and my parents rushing in after my older sister.

“Ella you’re fat… or pregnant.” Grace said in confused tone and helped me off the couch. “And married….” She whispered and held onto my hand looking over the ring.

“Surprise, you’re daughter is happily married and is having a baby!” I stated as my free arm was throwing into the air and a nervous smile appeared on my face.

“Wow, she doesn’t mess around.” My dad said with a small laugh.

“Now who is this man you call your husband?” My mom questioned.

“John O’Callaghan.” I answered shortly and smiled nervously still but lowered my arm.

“Ella O’Callaghan.” Grace teased and rested her hand on my stomach; I looked at her oddly and then back at my mom.

“Where is he?” she continued.

“Tour…”

“Ella, hun I’m going to need more than just one word answers.” My mom sighed deeply and crossed her arms.

“Okay, I met John in the hospital because the band he’s in was visiting some of the patients there, and to make a long story super short, I fell in love with him and this happened and here I am today worried about the baby and being alone.” I explained in one breath.

“Well.” My dad said and nodded slightly. “You can’t say she didn’t do well without us dear.”
“Grace, why can’t you find a husband like Ella’s?” My mom asked as she looked over to my sister.

“You’re kidding me right? Ella leaves for months almost a year and right away you’re both proud of her.” My sister sighed and shook her head.

As the small fight started, I stood back wondering why I even thought about doing life alone without these wonderful people. It wasn’t long before we were all heading out of the apartment and toward’s my mom’s car. This was the only way I felt safe and whole even if I wasn’t with John.