As You Wish

FLASH BACK

John’s visits were always what I looked forward to; it was something that kept me going. Within a month a lot happened, I was getting treatment, to help me get through my cancer. But the downpour was that I was losing my hair. Crying was all I was doing. But I had to understand that I was getting help. For this morning was hard for me, I didn’t seem up for anything, I was tired. I wasn’t looking forward to seeing John, but I really didn’t want him be away.

“Morning Ella!” John’s voice filled my room, his voice which normally would have shot my head up and respond back, didn’t.

I was still crying a little, I was afraid to look over to him, afraid that he would just run off. I didn’t want to that chance. But I couldn’t hide my head forever from him. “John.” I said with a slight sob.

“Ella.” His voice quickly turned into a sad tone.

I slowly turned over and looked at him, my tears still pouring down my cheeks. “I’m bald.” I said and wiped my eyes.

“What?” he said a little confused.

I ripped the doctor cap off my bald head and showed him, he just stared at my head before looking into my eyes. “Ella, your hair will grow back. And it could be a trend!” he said and smiled slightly.

I sat up and stared at him and cried a little more. “That’s not point! I don’t want to be bald. I want my hair back, I want to be normal!” I sobbed and covered my face up.

I felt John sit next to me, his arms were around me tightly, and I leaned on him a little. “Your going to be normal, heck you are normal from I see!” he said and rubbing my side.

“You don’t know what you’re talking about, you’re just a guy.” I said and was crying more.

“Hey. I didn’t get to pick what I wanted to be when I was created.”

“Are you trying to say you want to be a girl?” I asked and slowly looked over to him and was slowly calming down.

“No, that’s not what I’m saying. I just was making some kind of a point.”

I nodded a little and I stood quiet for some time. I had calm down fully. I looked over to John quickly. “How did you do that?”

“Do what?”

“Make me feel so calm.”

“I helped you?”

“Yes.”

“I, well, I don’t know, I was just trying to calm you down. Because you don’t need to be crying over this. I don’t want you crying either.” He said and looked at me. All I could do was nod.

I was wondering why I needed John. Why did he have to be here in order for me to be calm? I didn’t need him before and then he shows up and I need him. I was now depending on him.