As You Wish

The next day was a new venue, heading for Los Angeles. The ride to it was pretty much unexplainable, there was too much going on and it was hard to not get annoyed with one another. It was only a matter of moments until we were finally got to the House of Blues in Hollywood, we were ordered to go straight to unpacking the equipment and start setting up some of the stuff. Doing a half fast job on the merchandise, Dana and I headed out, being joined only by Kennedy and John.

“Welcome to Hollywood, where almost anything can happen. What is your dream sweetheart?” Kennedy asked Dana as they both walked in front.

Watching Dana’s eyes go into a roll, she huffed at him and slowly looked away from him. “God, Kennedy do you always have to be funny?” she said and crossed her arms.

Slightly laughing at her reaction, I kept my pace with John. The awkwardness that was once formed between was us, was slowly fading.

“So guess what Ella.” John said with a smile on his face, my eyes wondering over to his lips.

“I don’t know. What?” I asked slowly, I quickly made eye contact with him.

“My girlfriend is coming tonight again, she’s going to stay here for while, since we are staying here in Hollywood to do a few shows. It only does make sense in a way…” he stated his news.

Slowly ripping my eyes off his, I looked forward, trying to play it cool, trying to show no sign of jealousy or annoyance. “That’s not really a ‘guess what’ kind of thing John.” I was pretty sure there was annoyance to my tone.

“How so??” John said, his hand on my arm, in attempt to stop me from walking.

Stopping in my tracks, I looked up at him. “Because usually it’s a happy or exciting kind of thing.” I told him honestly.

“Oh? Well to me it’s happy new…”

“Then there you go, you just proved me wrong John...” I laughed nervously; I couldn’t have made myself look more like a fool. Slowly getting my arm out of his hold, I started to walk again, only having the awkwardness that was once gone, returned within minutes.

As the day continued, we had to return to a hotel, instead of staying in the bus. I was thankful for them getting hotel rooms. Dana and I shared a room, finding it easier to talk about the guys or whatever girly things that needed to be told.

“Dana, I’m like totally destroying John’s and mine relationship.” I said slightly panic, not sure on why I was pacing, I didn’t think it was even helping me.

“How much damage can you do in one day?” she asked, her eyes following my every move.

“First he tells me that his girlfriend is coming here to Hollywood, because we’re staying here. So I pretty much just showed him that I was either annoyed or jealous with my response.”

“Ella, it’s so obvious to everyone that you like him, I mean you haven’t told me, but it shows. And it’s the same with him.”

“I don’t like John; he’s just a really good friend that was there for me when I was in the hospital.”

“That’s your problem Ella you have to admit that you like him, just say it and things should go some what smoother for you at least.”

My pace slowly stopping, I looked over to Dana, knowing she was only right. I do like John, but it’s pretty much a heartbreak waiting to happen, for either me or Veronica. So I saw no point in trying to get his attention. Sighing some what deeply, I slowly sat at the edge of the bed.

“Dana, their just feelings, feelings faded, their going to faded.” I stated and nodded to convince myself fully that it was something that was just going to fade.

Hearing a knock at the door, I slowly rose to my feet, seeing that Dana wasn’t going to get it. I opened the door, seeing Kennedy standing there with a wide smile. “You two want to go hang out at the venue?” he asked as his eyebrows rose up and down.

“I don’t know if I want to accept that invitation from you, your looking isn’t giving you any justice.” I spoke. Having no say in what was going on; I was getting pushed out of the room.

“Admit to me that you have feelings for John even if it the slightest feelings…” Dana whispered to me and held me back, letting Kennedy get ahead of us.

“Okay, okay. I have some, and I repeated and underline some feelings for John.” I whispered back to her and got my arm free.

“You have more than just some Ella. If you had some you wouldn’t be getting jealous of Veronica coming here…”

“You wanna back off a little there. I mean what good will it do? I can’t just break them up.” I said rather quickly as we entered the elevator with Kennedy.

We dropped the subject completely; well for this night at least. I had another match to battle, if it wasn’t cancer it was love. It wouldn’t have come to mind that I would even love or like someone in my life, seeing that my days were limited. Who would love someone that only had short period of time to live? Soon I would probably have that answered, or would leave this earth not knowing.

We had gotten to the venue; we walked down the small hill and into the back way and stood at the bottom, where the ground was leveled. All the bands were there, including other people that were invited. Going through the crowd to get to our group of friends, pushing people aside that just wouldn’t move even when you asked in the politest way.

“Hey guys!” John greeted us with a wave; Veronica clung to his side, her smile just as wide as his.

Sending a smile to them, I remained quiet, at the point in time, I found myself jealous of Veronica. Not only was she cancer free, she had a boyfriend that was really great.

“Ella, I was meaning to ask you about your hair. I mean it’s really cute; it’s short but just stylish. Where did you get it done?” she asked sweetly.

Seeing a few faces including John’s look some what uncomfortable by what she just asked me. I wasn’t about to go crazy on her, there was no need of that, since she didn’t know of my problem. There was no nice way to put it in words that I had cancer.

“Thanks, well if you were planning to get a haircut like mine, you can get cancer and just let the treatment take your hair off, or just shave it bald and cross your fingers that it turns out like this…” I said to her, no attitude intended.

“Leave it to you to explain what you have in a wrong format.” Kennedy mumbled to me. I couldn’t tell if he was annoyed with my answer.

Slowly looking over everyone else’s face seeing some what of the same face. I sighed deeply, why should I make my explanation sound so depressing when there was another way of explaining it? Crossing my arms over my chest, I looked down slowly, getting uncomfortable.

“So Ella you have cancer?” Veronica finally spoke up.

“Yeah I have cancer, but obviously there’s a ‘right way’ in saying that I do. Because just making a joke out of it is so wrong. Sorry.” I said and looked up at her and using air quotes. “I’m actually getting tired, I think I’m going to get some sleep, kind of need it.” I said above a whisper, slowly backing up from the group, I pushed my way through the crowd, my eyes getting watery.

I was just remembered that I had cancer, I was slowly forgetting about, even though there were things around me to remind me of it. But I was pretty sure if she or they laughed, I would have just forgotten about it more.

Getting to the top of the hill out of breath, the tears sliding down my cheeks slowly, I stood there for a moment to regain my breathing. I wiped my eyes and waited for another moment for the tears to stop coming.

“Ella, wait! Don’t leave please!” John yelled as he ran up the hill like nothing, he was soon at my side. His arms wrapped around me.

I couldn’t help but to wrap my arms around him. He did help me calm down, he done it so many times before, this moment wasn’t any different.

“I’m sorry for the awkward feeling that was caused back there. I know that you’re just trying to make it easier for you to say you have cancer.” John said, his hand slowly moving along my back, in his way of comforting me.

“It’s just that I finally forgotten about it John, I know it’s a huge thing in my life, but I just forgotten about it, and tonight just reminded me of it. It’s not anyone faults, just I don’t know, the looks I got…”

“I’m sorry Ella. I wish I could go back and just change it for you.” He said softly, his tone calm and smooth. “Did you want to go back?” he then asked.

Slowly looking up at him, I shook my head slightly. “No, it’s okay. I really should be resting.” I said and then slowly backed out of his hold.

“True, so I’ll walk you to the hotel and I’ll stay with you until you fall asleep.” He said offering his hand to me.

My eyes wondering down to it, I slowly put my hand in his, his fingers lacing with mine. The butterflies were filling my stomach like they once did. We started to walk, there was not talking, but I was quite fine with it.

Once in the hotel room, I got some pajama pants and a shirt. I changed in the restroom and then headed out, watching as John pulled the blankets back for me, I smiled and climbed in it. He covered me up and then laid next to me.

“Now sleep.” He said and placed a kiss on my forehead, just nodding to him, I got more comfortable. My eyes suddenly heavy, before I wasn’t even sure, I was out.