Instant Star

You're not doing anything wrong. You didn't lie, what you told Tom was the truth. My mind knew that logically I really hadn't lied, but the lump in my stomach and the pounding of my heart had other ideas.

I'd told Tom I was getting a ride home from a friend, I just didn't mention that friend was Damon. He'd insisted when I was talking to him right before we left to the mall. He'd said that the boys were going to have to stay late to make up for leaving for a bit and that he'd take me home if I needed a ride. I hadn't believed him, but I guess I should have. He knew more about all this stuff than I did.

A few minutes later I was outside Damon's trailer. I knocked and waited for him to answer, "Knew you'd come. Let's go."

I sighed. Of course he would rub it in, he just had to be right. Since he was I'd let it go, but just this once. The drive to my house was filled with his silly 'look at me' attitude and my sarcastic, sometimes pretty mean, comments. Strange as it was, I was really getting used to Damon. He was fun to be around if I just let myself relax.

Before long, I was giggling and he was beaming. When we got to my house, he turned off the engine, but didn't unlock the car. I guess I could have done it, but what was the rush? Damon and I were only talking and we were actually getting along and having fun. It was nice.

"You're really great you know," he said seriously. I blushed a deep shade of red and shook my head no. "Yeah you are. There's something about you, and don't think I go saying that to everyone. I don't."

I smiled. This guy was always complimenting me and somehow it felt sincere every time. I looked back up from my lap into his eyes, "Thank you." It was a whisper, but I know he heard me.

There was a look on his face, one that told me what he was thinking and what he wanted to happen. It was nothing that I should be doing with him. And I couldn't... wouldn't let it happen. I had a million and one reasons why it was such a bad idea and why I never ever wanted what that look promised.

Despite all that, I didn't stop him as he kissed me.

What was worse, was that I could feel myself shiver at the contact. My body liked it. His hand moved to stroke my cheek while we were still connected. He was sweet and surprisingly gentle, the kiss wasn't an attack like I thought it might be, instead it was more like him asking me if this was okay. Or like him waiting for me to hit him. I didn't.

The kiss ended soon and I pulled back smiling, with my eyes still closed. When I opened them I had a deja-vu moment. This felt a lot like last time a boy had dropped me off at home when it was just the two of us. Well except that last time I hadn't kissed...

Tom.

My face fell, "I have to go." I jumped out of the car and made it to me room in record time, never looking back to see the triumph I knew was on Damon's face.

What the hell was I thinking? How could... how! Stupid Damon of all people. No no no! This would not happen!

That's it, I decided, Nothing happened. Tom doesn't have to know anything happened... cause it didn't. I'd be completely normal next time I saw him. Nothing happened.

What about Damon? a voice in my head asked.

What about him? I'll tell him it was nothing, just a mistake. I'm sure my reaction was enough for him to get the picture if I told him I didn't mean it. I'm sure he didn't have girls who ran away screaming 'cause they wanted to be with him. He'd get over it.

I didn't leave my room that night. Instead, I busied myself with picking up all the little things that were out of place. Then I reorganized my closet and CD collection. By the time I was done, my whole room was in spotless order and it was ten o'clock; a decent time to go to bed and sleeping would help me forget that insignificant little incident.

No one needs to know. I thought again as I lay in bed already drifting off to sleep. Everything would have been fine if my traitor of a subconscious hadn't reminded me about what I was trying to forget.

That night I dreamt of Damon. About how funny and charming he really was as well as how cute he was. My dreams were filled with warm thoughts and happy memories; some that had nothing to do with Damon, but he somehow managed to work his way into them.

And again, my mind was trying to be kind to when Tom appeared in my dreams, but I felt the guilt heavy in my chest. He was standing a few feet away, watching me. I had a moment to think if looks could kill me, he would have just done it before I saw something pop into his hand.

The distance between us wasn't far at all and I could clearly see the straps that wove around his shoulders and the sling where the device would have been normally, if he hadn't had it in his hand. I looked down at myself to see that I too had a holster; mine was empty, like his, but there was nothing in my hands either which left me unarmed and him... very dangerous.

He didn't say anything, just looked passed me and I turned to see that Damon was behind me. He had no weapon either, only a smile on his face. I turned back to Tom to see that he was much closer now, almost in my face and he was looking at me again. I breathed deep and made the decision he'd been waiting for: I turned and ran.

The buildings around me shifted from that of a stadium into what looked like the open area of my school. I kept running toward the building in front of me at full speed until I saw a man laying on the ground unmoving. There was what looked like an explosion of red on the front of his shirt and gun, that looked exactly like the one Tom had, in his hand. Before thinking, I grabbed the weapon and started running to the building once again. I had to find somewhere to hide of else I was in trouble, of that I was sure.

Once inside the building I saw that it would serve useless for hiding since it's walls were made up of windows. My breath came in pants as I hid as best as I could behind the main entrance door. Just outside the window, I could see Tom walking slowly and looking around... for me.

He saw the building I was in and a knowing smile came onto his face. He knew I was in here. It could have been because he saw me or simply because this was my dream and so things had to go wrong, but either way he entered through the door I wasn't behind and walked in while looking all around. I had crouched behind a table, hoping he wouldn't see me, and held my breath.

Tom walked around some other tables, still searching, but never saw me. He turned and made his way back out the building with a slightly confused look on his face. I could clearly see him from where I was and risked standing so that he'd be in my line of vision when he walked through the door.

A noise from to my left startled me and I turned to see Bill standing next to me, an angry look on his face. This was it; I knew he'd call to Tom and the older twin would find me. I could only hope that Tom didn't have planned what I thought he did. Bill stood there with his arms crossed, but didn't move. He didn't say a thing, just kept staring at me. I chanced a look back at Tom and saw that he still hadn't seen either of us.

Bill scoffed and rolled his eyes, drawing my attention back to him. He gave me one more dirty look before walking away. From behind I could see that he too had a holster and gun to match that was attached to his back at a downward angle. It made me more hesitant to turn away from him, but since he hadn't gave me away, yet, I did.

I could still see Tom, not too far off maybe twenty feet, then looked down at the gun my hand. My mind thought Put it down, this is ridiculous. My hands, however, thought otherwise and lifted it so that I had a clear shot of Tom.

He turned then, and caught sight of me with the gun lifted. He froze, seeing that I had him. This is stupid! my mind continued to scream, Put it down! I almost did, until I saw him taking a step forward. My hand reacted without permission and squeezed the trigger. With my eyes closed, I waited to hear something, a bang or a thump, something that would tell me that I hadn't imagined what I did.

Pop

It hadn't been what I was expecting, but it was a sound. I opened my eyes to see Tom still standing with what looked like an explosion, much like the guy who had been on the ground, on his chest. The difference however, was that the color on Tom's chest wasn't red like the other man, but a bright blue. And Tom wasn't lying on the ground, he was looking at me, an indescribable look on his face.

He walked back to me slowly until he was standing in my personal space, his chest in my face. A hand grabbed my chin and forced me too look up at him where I saw something I hadn't expected. He didn't look angry, but instead more hurt. The pain in his face wasn't from any shot. I'm not sure how I knew, but I could tell, it was a different kind of pain.

My eyes shot open to see that I was back in my room. I could hear the blood flowing in my ears in time with my racing heart. I took deep breaths, trying to calm my nerves, and closed my eyes again. The dream had been so... haunting. With my eyes closed I could see the look on his face again. I opened them, it was too much for me right at that moment.

My hands were shaking violently and I couldn't stop them. Fuck. I didn't even want to leave my bed that day, nothing could make me. Except that now I had to face Tom. I had to talk to him to prove to myself that I wasn't going crazy. Too bad I couldn't get the visual of Tom's face at the end of my dream out of my head.

A suffocating feeling started to overtake me.