We All Have Been Degraded

Lynn didn’t much care about graduation. She just thought the ritual silly.

Realistically she was going through the whole thing just for Cassandra.

Cass would have been crushed to never see either of her daughters graduate.

Not to mention her administrators expected her to deliver a speech.

The speech caused her lots of lost sleep and headaches too.

Was everyone just going to start laughing the moment she set foot on stage and call out horrible insults in front of her mother who didn’t have a clue about anything they’d say.

Writing this, what was she to say? Was she to talk of the elation of high school being over and there being some freedom to your life. Was she supposed to try to inspire everyone to reach for the stars despite their overwhelming distance? Was she crying out for help after losing everything she’d once believed she was?

She knew the last one was out of the question.

Somehow -though it took weeks- she managed to pen something she thought was okay.

The day had finally come.

Her hair was loosely curled much like what Cassandra had done for her for prom and her make-up was applied lightly only subtly accentuating her features.

She was in a pretty dress that wouldn’t be seen until all was said and done.

Appraisingly she looked in the mirror, trying to figure out what was missing. A necklace, she was sure.

She walked over to her dresser that had her jewelry box resting on top of it. She went through every necklace in there and none of them were right.

Finally her gaze fell to the small box she still hadn’t touched after trying to return it to the boy six times. It was almost like it was calling her name, beckoning her to wear it.

She didn’t know why that necklace was the missing piece to the puzzle.

She delicately opened the box looking at the pretty little necklace and just as delicately pulled it out of it’s box.

Holding it in her palm she still couldn’t stop looking at it. It was a simple little flower made out of peridot and white stones hanging from a short thin silver chain. Her birthstone -peridot- being the dominate stone.

She pulled it to her neck and snapped it on.

Returning to the mirror she was far more satisfied.

She loved the way the gems sparkled against her charcoal gray dress.

“It’s perfect.”

Finally she could shrug on her white graduation gown and simple black oxford heels. As soon as she did there was a knock on her door shortly followed by Cassandra peeking around her door.

“Are you ready for Robert to come up and help with your bags?”

Lynn turned to her mother. “Yeah, I’m ready.” She spoke with a light sigh.

Cassandra gave Lynn another once over and smiled the usual smile. “You look beautiful. You’re going to knock ‘em dead.”

Lynn smiled back. “Thanks mom.”

Out Cassandra went to go get Robert who was adjusting his tie.

Lynn was double-checking her note cards when they both came back.

“Ready kid?” Robert asked with his typical smile. It was the one Garrett had most definitely had gotten from him.

“Yeah.” She said again with a smile this time.

His smile expanded and he went and grabbed the two biggest bags.

Cassandra followed his lead in her stunning emerald green maxi dress and grabbed one of the two remaining bags. She walked over to Lynn giving her daughter a one armed hug.

As she pulled away she took notice of the shine around her daughter’s neck and gently took the small flower in her hand.

“This is pretty. Where’d you get it?” She asked curiously.

Lynn looked at it and smiled. This was her one legitimately good memory of John. “A friend.” She said softly basking in the memory.

Cassandra looked up at Lynn’s face and couldn’t stop the half smile from sneaking up the left side of her face. “I’ll have to meet this friend someday.” She said as she pat Lynn’s shoulder and walked out.

Lynn’s eyebrow shot up in confusion. She just grabbed the last bag, her little duffle bag, and headed down the stairs.

They all tossed the bags into Robert’s Yukon and got in and headed off to graduation.

They all arrived two hours early like Lynn was supposed to and Cassandra and Robert told her they’d go pick up Garrett.

Lynn went in and had all the typical backstage chaos.

She wasn’t with all of her friends she was with the administrators and the other two kids giving speeches going over the order again.

Lynn was lost and she hated that.

The hours flew by like minutes and soon enough she was tossed back into the line with the other girls in her class waiting to make the entrances.

They all walked out in alphabetical order and sat the same way.

Lynn could hear her family the second she came into view. She could hardly believe them.

Soon enough -after a few of the admins gave speeches-the principal started announcing the graduates and they all got up and were in alphabetical order again going through the list.

After Lynn was handed hers she sat up on the chair on stage that was designated for her.

She sat prim and proper in her seat with her ankles crossed hoping there was no way anyone would get even the quickest glance at her undies.

There was so much noise but she could still pick out Cassandra’s excited yell over everybody else’s over her every move.

Then it was the student’s turn for speeches. The speeches before her were excellent all she felt was pressure.

Once the principal called her name she stood slowly straightening her gown as she did so.

Despite the request of the principal people cheered before every speech and she was no different. Again she heard Cassandra screaming like a banshee but she looked to the crowd and heard a man whistling. As she sat her speech on the podium her eyes fell on the boy with fingers in his mouth to aid in the loud whistle.

She smiled out to him almost like she was thanking him again for the necklace hanging from her neck.

He pulled his fingers from his lips and tossed her a big charming smile. This smile was unlike any she’d seen from him in a long time.

“This is the last thing I’d ever want to do.” Lynn said with a little laugh. “Delivering a speech in front of my whole class, not just any speech either but the final speech. I’m the last one to set the tone for the rest of your memories.

“So what do you really say with that knowledge weighing heavily upon you? I only hope that I found the right thing.” She flipped her note card with a sigh.

She knew Cassandra was probably already in tears.

“People will be so keen to tell you these were the best years of your life but they’re wrong. I loved high school.” Until this year. “But I know there are some pretty amazing things to come. Your life is on the horizon. The time spent in high school was like the preliminaries where your life was dictated by someone else. We were forced to do things by some ludicrous government standard. Now we get to set our own standards. Honestly I hope they’re higher than the floor level ones that have been set for us. Now we can make the choice to go out and do anything! We can do anything as long as we get out and make it happen! It won’t just fall into your lap. I want every single person in this room to wake up 20 years from now and look around amazed and think, “I must be dreaming.” Because that’s when you know you’ve done this whole ‘life’ thing right.

“Everyone knows about my mother.” She feared the reaction this could bring. “She doesn’t regret a single thing she’s ever done. She acknowledges her mistakes and moves on. Adjusts her behavior so she doesn’t make the same mistake twice. A lot of people go out of their way to say awful things about her and what I’ve come to realize is that if you’re happy -like she truly is- unhappy people will stop at nothing to make you just like them.

“Don’t let them.” She spoke strongly though she knew she had trouble taking this advice.

“Look at them and see their misery. Don’t even be angry. If anything pity the people who spit on your happiness.

“Today with the level of true pure happiness consuming this room I expect tons of undue negativity to come our way. But we’re big kids now. Adults. We can hold our heads up high and deal with it fearlessly. We can take whatever the world has to throw at us. That’s what this whole ceremony means!

“We’re ready for the world but the world aint ready for us! ‘06 Forever!” She ended with a cheer and a shout.

“Now we’re all together going to move our tassels to the left side of our hats to signify us moving on. Ready? On the count of three!” She did the count down and every student did it together halfheartedly wishing for the old tradition of cap tossing.

Then everyone was dismissed so everyone could meet up with family and friends.

Lynn got out as fast as she could and found the tear streaked Cassandra who took her into her arms instantly.

“I’m so proud of you.” She sobbed onto Lynn’s shoulder.

“I know mom.” Lynn said comfortingly running her hand over her mother’s back. “I’m going to go say goodbye to a few people ok?”

“We’ll be here.” Robert said pulling Cassandra back to him.

Garrett had wandered off to congratulate a few of his friends.

Lynn went and found Sky and Aurora together with their families.

She walked up and put her arms up ready for a hug.

They all united in the hug crushing each other for what could be the last time in a long while.

“I’m gonna miss this.” Lynn sighed into the hug.

“Me too.” Rora and Sky chorused.

“It’s not like we’re going to lose touch.” Lynn said it like it was ridiculous.

“Well soon we’ll all be in different states. Different time zones.” Sky couldn’t help but point out.

“Like that matters! We’re like glue!” Aurora countered.

They all lightly agreed and soon enough they all knew it was time to go back to their families.

Finally Lynn noticed that Jared’s and John’s families were there too.

She had to give her friend’s brother at least a goodbye. It would be horridly impolite not to.

“Bye Tim.” She said giving him a light hug.

“Bye Lynn. Good luck.” He responded back with his huge gorgeous smile.

“Lynn.” Her attention was called by someone else.

She turned to look at John.

“You did good up there today.” He said politely from beside his family.

“Thanks.” She said back too happy to be leaving to be mean.

“You look beautiful.” He said as a shy blush rose to his cheeks.

She looked down to her now unzipped robe and at her attire then back to him. “Thanks John Oh.”

Garrett who’d just congratulated all of his friends walked up to her. “You ready?” He asked softly.

Her family was going out to lunch to celebrate.

“Yeah.” She said as she walked with Garrett back to her emotional mother.

She was just getting more excited by the minute.

Cassandra went on and on the whole car ride. Everyone had nice things to say.

Once they got to the restaurant everything calmed.

It was like because she left the robe in the car it was all forgotten.

They had a meal like the perfect family, it honestly blew Lynn away.

After the meal ended spirits dropped.

As they drove to the airport no one spoke. The only sounds were the light playing radio and the usual sounds of the road.

Cassandra was breaking down again. This time not happy tears.

“I love you mom. I’m giving my dad the year. You’ve had my first 18 let him have this one.” Lynn said prying her mother away so she could see her face.

Cassandra wiped her eyes. “I know, I know, I’m just going to miss you.”

“I know you’ll call me, e-mail me, or something everyday. It’s not like I won’t come back.” Lynn said reassuring the crazy woman.

Cassandra pulled Lynn’s head down and kissed her forehead. “Take care of yourself Lynnie.”

“Will do.” She said before pulling Cassandra in for another hug.

Once she finally pulled away from her mother she moved to Robert and told him to take good care of her mother giving him a hug as well.

Then she moved to Garrett.

“Be good kid.” She said with a smile.

“I could say the same to you. You‘re not going to have your little brother there to look after you.” He joked back.

“I’m gonna miss you kid.” She said pulling him into her arms.

Then the PA announced that it was time for her plane to begin boarding.

She exchanged the last round of tear filled goodbyes before starting toward the next chapter of her life.

She was going to attend Columbia in New York with James Whalen. Her biological father.

This is what she’d been waiting for.

A chance for something new. A new place where the people wouldn’t have preconceived notions about her.

Something that felt like freedom.

Elation was the only way she could think to describe anything that day.

As she felt the plane’s wheels leave the runway she really felt like she was flying and it had nothing to do with the fact that she was literally rapidly gaining space between her feet and the ground.

***

As Garrett, Cassandra, and Robert were heading home from the airport after watching Lynn’s plane take off Garrett received a text message.

He opened it. Seeing it was from John.

“Are you still with Lynn? I really need to talk to her.”

He sighed and responded. “Nope she’s headed to New York.”

The time elapses between text messages depends on who you’re talking to and how good your cell/carrier is.

For John, the text seemed to take an eternity, it couldn’t come quick enough.

For Garrett, John responded quicker than he could ever have imagined.

“What?”

“What?” Was all he could think to say

“She’s staying with her dad for the year while she’s in school.” Garrett responded back calmly.

As John read that everything seemed to stop.

A Year?