We All Have Been Degraded

“Oh my God, I didn’t even see you there.” She spoke having regained her composure after the thing in the car. “How are you Garrett? I’ve hardly seen you since I’ve been home.”

His face was serious, she didn’t notice or care, he wasn’t sure. “What’s up with you Lynn?”

She looked at him eyebrows together confused as she sat her clutch down. “What are you talking about Garrett?”

“This is the girl you defied through high school! You’re Cory! What’s going on Lynn?” He implored for the honest answers. Old Lynn was the girl who he thought of as a sister, this girl was a stranger.

This was something that would have made old Lynn snap. This new girl just shook her head. “Garrett, I’m not in high school anymore. I don’t feel the need to stick to the world’s ugly double standards. I’m a different sort of feminist these days. I embrace the fact that we have physiological needs just like any man. Why should I treat mine like they’re taboo?”

Garrett ran a hand through his hair in complete disbelief of the woman before him. “Lynn you’re not just satisfying needs, you’re toying with people. You’re behaving in a less than classy sort of way and you were always the epitome of class Lynn. What’s going on in your head?”

She scoffed. “I’m messing with John. Are you implying he doesn’t deserve it?”

“Did you?” He fired back easily.

“I can’t believe you’re comparing me to him.” She spoke coldly as she grabbed her swimsuit. Walking into her bathroom to change. “I can hear you through the door just incase you have more to say.”

He stood next to the door assuming it’d be easier for her to hear him that way. “I’m comparing you to him because you’re behaving like him!”

She didn’t respond until she was finished changing back into her swimsuit and was opening the door. “Garrett, think what you will of me, compare me to whomever you wish. I’m too old for trying to please everyone, I have been longer than I realized it. If you wanna hang out talk about horror movies like we used to I’m gonna be by the pool. Otherwise watch your zombie movies on your own.”

Then she walked away right back down the stairs with total disregard of his opinion.

He at the very least respected her for the fact that she wasn’t going out of her way for his approval like she used to. Or for anyone’s really. He wasn’t sure if he was ready to hang out with this girl or if he wanted to at all.

Applying a new layer of sunblock she was back to her place by the pool when her cell phone started going off on the little round table next to her. She sat down the sunscreen and grabbed her phone the screen clearly read Mariella.

“Hello Darling.” Lynn spoke easily into the phone easing back into the chair. “How’s the big city been since I left?”

“See when I talked to my parents this morning and instead of heading home I decided to take a good friend of mine up on the offer to come, how’d they put it, ‘hang in AZ and see the way the sun shines in the southwest.’” She spoke cheekily.

Lynn laughed. “Might this friend have been drinking when she offered this?”

Mari laughed back. “That bitch was always drinking.”

“When should this drinker expect you?”

“My flight’s tomorrow, I won’t be in the Southwest until probably 10pm.”

“I guess that means she’ll have to sober up enough to drive down to the airport and pick you up, huh?” Lynn asked easily already planning when she’d stop drinking. Calculating perfectly her hours of sobriety.

Hanging up the phone after exchanging a few more specifics she found herself bored with just sitting in the sun that was rapidly moving toward the west.

She stood up and stretched her long body out like a cat before jumping into the pool.

It was her first swim in a long time. The old weightless feeling coming back as she was submerged. Then a different feeling. One she hadn’t felt in over a year. So foreign she wasn’t sure she knew what it was.

It was beautiful though.

After deciding to get out -before she got all prune-y- she was strutting back up to her room in her little American flag print halter bikini that she got to keep from a shoot.

She opened her door totally unfazed by the fact -for the second time today- someone waited for her.

John was in the far corner of her room pacing. He looked… At odds. To say the least. He spun on her when he entered. Crossed to her as she closed the door behind her.

Her heart raced as he pinned her to that door.

“How’d you get in?” She asked perfectly playing casual.

“I’ve had so much trouble not thinking about you.” He said ignoring her question and hungrily attaching his lip to hers for the second time that day. The first time he’d gotten to do that in over a year. “Today didn’t help.”

His hands grabbing her hips roughly took her back and did the same thing it did to her then.

Her hands coiled up into his hair and pulled it tightly around her fingers loving the way he groaned as she did it.

The boy was about to have an entirely different experience than the one he so fully recalled.

She shoved him onto her bed. Walked over to her stereo turning the music on just to add an extra buffer, not that she really thought anyone would hear them on a whole other floor. Then walked back in a tormenting slow pace.

He felt all of his desire flare to the surface. It took everything in him not to jump out of the bed and drag her over to it.

She saw that in his eyes and victoriously smiled. “Don’t you dare move boy.” Then each step was more dramatic, foot placed father in front of her body adding just the right sway. Just throwing enough hip to throw the world into ruin.

The distance wasn’t far but it seemed like a lifetime to John before she got over to that bed.
In her head plans were going. Lily taught her well. Nothing was to be done without an agenda. Life wasn’t worth the toiling away at anything that didn’t get you somewhere. The divine truth in life is everybody is just in it for their own twisted reasons. Maybe this was a lesson she’d get to teach now. Perhaps the student was ready to be the teacher. She sure as hell was ready to give it a shot.

“I thought you might burst before I made it to the bed.” She spoke straddling the boy leaning so her words were spoken just brushing his lips.

He made a move to reverse the position and she shoved his shoulder down with one firm press of her palm. “Don’t you even dare, Johno.” She purred before putting her lips to his letting the fire ignite. Maybe they’d burn the whole place down.

Clothing was shed, far more of his than hers obviously, skin to skin just like the old days. Everything still felt electric. Every touch leading them wanting more.

Lynn didn’t doze off after, didn’t lay and bask in the afterglow. She wasted no time getting up and finding her cigarettes and sliding on a pair of shorts and a tank. She pulled a cigarette out of the pack and grabbed her lighter before opening her window. She turned back to John just long enough to say, “When my cigarette goes out, so should you.” And climbing out the window to sit on the small stretch of roof to have her smoke.

John was floored. It wasn’t like he thought that sex would be their miracle fix -he hoped it might but he should have know better given their history- but he didn’t expect honestly callous behavior. This was the moment he really feared that everything he once knew was really gone. Maybe he could never really love this new girl the way he loved the old one. Part of him hated himself for the fact that it all may have been because of him.

So he hoisted himself up from the bed and gathered his clothes preparing for his walk of shame. The thoughts in his head just spinning.

She was climbing back in through the window when he was heading out that way. They came face to face one last time.

“I forgot to tell ya good job sport.” She mocked him seeming to have no conscious at all.

He grabbed her arm so she wouldn’t move and would focus on his eyes. “We all have been degraded.”

She just laughed. “It just elevates us to greatness.” Then walked on into her room heading for her bathroom.

He watched her disappear. Shaking his head the whole way to the trellis.

She had a smile that couldn’t be stopped all the way until she fell to sleep after her shower. Still there was a corner of her, one she couldn’t hear until she was nearly asleep with a nagging little voice, that she pushed down and refused to acknowledge.

***

The next day passed without incident, no one bothered her and she got to sleep in. She kept to herself reading through the day so her sobriety wouldn’t make that voice echo in her head.

Passed the time until it was time to go get Mariella. She drove eyes fixed thinking of nothing but the bumps defining the lanes staying in her own.

Seeing the inside of the airport again was a bit of a trip, she felt like she should have been flying back to New York.

She arrived at 9:30, a good thing as the plane got in early. A rare occurrence that Lynn hardly expected. They had Mari’s bags and were rolling out by 9:48.

“So my friend Sky’s college friend is having a little party,” Lynn introduced the idea once she turned the keys. “I know parties aren’t really your bag but it’ll introduce you to everybody in one shot. Plus these parties aren’t like the New York model parties. Just some college kids celebrating the summer.”

Mariella’s face looked skeptical hazel eyes looking at Lynn considering it.

“No one here will say they do artful nudes. Promise.” Lynn said honestly. “No famous photographers. Tim tools around with photography I think but he’s a good dude.”

Mari wasn’t excited about the old new being drudged up but she knew Lynn sometimes lacked tack not intentionally to be hurtful. “Why not? Not like I’m dressed like a chick who’s been on a plane all day.” She spoke sarcastically.

Lynn only glanced over at the girl in the knee length denim shorts, charcoal gray cami, and a tan fedora. Her light brown hair in a messy braid to the side that had just enough hair falling out to be adorable. “My house is on the way if you need to change but I’m telling you this isn’t like a high fashion party.” Then Lynn glanced down at her over the top outfit and looked back to the road before glancing back to Mari. “I’m just a whore.” She joked. This was a joke that still caused some tinge of pain in her but she pushed it all back down.

Mari just chuckled. “Maybe there are no whores Lynn, just people who want to live something unconventional because convention never worked out for them.” This was the loyalty that held their bond.

“Conventional, another word for normal. Normalcy is the playground for the unimaginative.” Lynn agreed with a soft smile.

Walking in to the house of a “friend of a friend” is a little more off-putting than someone you know. Especially with someone no one knows at your side but Lynn didn’t give a shit and Mari could strike up a conversation with anyone.

Lynn and another woman who doesn’t look like a dwarf standing next to Lynn in heels are noticed right when they enter a room. Plus their height wasn’t the only thing that made them stand out, they were pretty on top of it. Mariella’s girl next door look fit far better than Lynn’s off the runway attire she just didn’t know how to shed these days.

Lynn found her friends with no trouble. Mariella clicked in effortlessly, with no hiccups of awkwardness like most would anticipate. They were standing around having drinks, talking, Mari just nursing her first beer. She wasn’t much of a drinker and refused to make an ass of herself in front of people she just met.

John watched the small crowd as he moved to join them. The girl he didn’t know struck him. She was laughing, not an overdramatic drunken girl laugh, showing off her beautiful smile. Her simple look was an adorable girl next door thing. How close she was standing to Lynn worried him. He wanted time away from that old flame.

Something inside of him was a glutton for punishment. He found himself between the new girl and Jared. “What’s up guys?” He added casually taking a sip of the beer in his hand.

Jared was the one who took it upon himself to introduce John to the girl next to him with his hand on John’s back like he needed direction. “This is Mari. She’s Lynn’s friend from Columbia. She’s studying to be a criminal analyst! She likes dissecting weirdoes. We thought she might be able to help us with Pat.”

John laughed and extended hi hand out to her. “John O’Callaghan.” His grin spread up the left side of his face.

Lynn caught that look. She knew that look better than anyone else. It was his charming smirk, without all the condescending undertones she got from it in high school.