We All Have Been Degraded

Jealousy ran through Cory’s blood and Lynn knew it.

She saw it in the glares Cory sent, in the way the girl moved, in the way the girl simply breathed.

Lynn was rapturous to see that after Cory finally emerged after John left and Lynn came downstairs for a drink.

Garrett came over to spend the night that day, it was the first time he really ever spent time during the school week, he usually did weekends but now that his and Lynn’s relationship was better it wasn’t such a fight to get him to spend time with his father.

Him and Lynn ended up in his bedroom watching some lame zombie movie.

“Why do you like this stuff?” She asked as she watched the decaying and decrepit creatures that were formerly humans going after the few living breathing humans left.

“Why do you like vampires?” He asked back easily.

“The concept of immortality is entrancing to anybody. Not just the goth kids who paint their faces white.” She said finally glancing at him. “It makes you believe that you have nothing to fear.”

“The fact that you really knew the answer to that instantly really worries me.” He said with a half-smile sliding on his face as his eyes came to meet hers. “Can you do anything without overanalyzing it?”

She smiled back. “Nope.”

They both laughed and continued watching the movie in relative silence.

After that movie ended the five disk changer turned and another zombie movie main menu came up. “Really Garrett?” She asked looking over at him.

“Hey,” He started in faux defense, “don’t judge me.”

Again she had to laugh.

Garrett finally came around to asking what he’d been dying to since he got here. “So what’s with Cory? She seems pissed at you.”

Lynn let out a chuckle simply because she had to, because she was victorious. “I showed her up.”

Garrett was simply confused. “What?”

She went on to thoroughly explain. From Cory implying she was gay all the way to that afternoon with John.

“Lynn, I’m not so sure about all of this.” He said uncomfortably. “This is only going to make John cockier around you.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll set him straight.” She said confidently.

Garrett looked at her worried. “Be careful Lynn. This is a crazy mess that’s being made here, you don’t want to get in over your head.”

She smiled over at her little step-brother. “Don’t worry about me kid, I’m a big girl.” She ruffled his hair saying this.

They both fell asleep in his room while one of the many zombie movies played.

The next morning at school she told the girls how it went.

They were rapturous when they heard.

When she walked out to her car she noticed a familiar boy’s outline. She rolled her eyes as she could see his smirk from a mile away.

She crossed her arms over her chest as she arrived and was faced with John.

“How many times do I have to tell you to stay the hell away from me?”

“How many times are you going to contradict everything you say?” He asked tauntingly getting closer, putting his hands on her hips.

She shoved his hands from her hips. “Don’t touch me. Go fuck Cory. She actually can stand you although I have no idea how.” Her voice she kept cruel.

She saw something shimmer through his eyes as he glared before walking away. She could have sworn it was hurt in his eyes.

She didn’t care though she’d finally managed to get rid of him. With that satisfaction she pushed down any nagging guilt that rose to the surface.

When she arrived home she found Cory calmly sitting at the table giving herself a full set. She was to the final bit of filing on her left hand and Lynn just watched as Cory worked, focused on what was before her. Lynn just looked at the finished right hand -this was when she realized Cory was left handed, right-brained- she had the crystal clear tips that came with silver glitter already on them topped with clear acrylic that looked cloudy and dingy because they weren’t polished yet but Lynn could already see they were going to be beautiful.

“I can do your’s if you’d like.” Her voice was serene.

Nails were her little outlet. Her little happy place, so to speak.

“Come on sit down.” She didn’t even wait for Lynn to accept or deny.

Lynn sat down and Cory brought her attention to Lynn’s nails.

“You have great nails, I’ll just give you some overlays, hold on.” She went into her little box of tricks that was sitting by her feet and pulled out a couple jars of Young Nails’ colored acrylic.

She pulled out silver, blue, purple, and neon green.

“You like funky retro designs, right?”

Lynn just nodded.

So Cory went for it. Not saying a word until she got to sculpting the designs with the colored acrylics. “Playing games with me just isn’t a good idea. I’m in a league you haven’t even heard of yet.”

Lynn’s defenses flew back up. “I seemed to hold my own just the same.”

“That’s why he followed me back to my room and was moaning my name.” Cory countered with a devious look.

Lynn’s mouth defied her then. “Yeah, like that’s a challenge.”

Cory’s eyes drifted up from her work looking into Lynn’s knowingly. “So little miss perfect isn’t so perfect after all.” She let out a low chuckle when Lynn’s eyes confirmed her theory. “Oh this is fantastic. You‘re really no better than I am.”

Lynn could feel her imaginary stains come back. The ones that taunted her for all that she’d become.

Cory finished Lynn’s nails in silence looking like the cat that caught the mouse the whole time.

After it was all finished Lynn politely thanked Cory before heading up to her room where she sprawled out on her bed. She gazed at her nails. Cory did a retro design of circles, complete ones, mere outlines, and they all intersected. The colors she chose went great together. They felt like proof to Lynn, proof that she was truly just like Cory despite what she thought she could say from her spot up on her high horse.

***

The next day Aurora Kirch was walking to her favorite class; the experimental class, Mixed Music.

This week they were forming fake bands.

It was the beginning of a full blown project, where they first create the band, decide on music, and then do all the things it takes to make it. They have to name their bands, think up ways to promote them, plan fictional tours including financing and bands that would work on a bill with them.

She arrived excited as ever taking her seat between Jared and Kennedy, flirtatiously smiling at Kenny as she did so.

Ms. Whalen was sitting up on her desk smiling just waiting for the bell to ring.

She started talking as soon as it did. “So are you all excited to start the band project? Well, I have a crazy story to tell you first. My brother who was a lead singer of some band that I’m sure you’ve never heard of -they did a few national tours but never really caught on- and he just found out he’s got a kid. A damn near grown daughter. You know how he found out?” She was rambling on about this situation she could hardly believe. “On a blog!”

That got Rora’s attention instantly. She knew one girl who was the illegitimate daughter of a rocker, the same girl’s mother also happens to write a blog.

“A blog. There’s even a picture of them together from the night… Backstage with his bandmates before they… You know. He remembers that woman to this day. Isn’t that a trip? Now this relates to this class because all of you love music and would love to make a living pursuing it right?” She paused only long enough for them to kinda nod. “Well, you don’t want to go about it the same way old bands did. You end up in an ugly place and it’s not safe. If you’re going to get your rocks off with the fans make it subtle, don’t alienate the fans that don’t put out, and practice safe sex. If you don’t you’ll live to regret it. My brother does. He’s kind of a sentimental guy and the fact he’s never met his only child really bothers him. Ok life inspired rant over. I have lists of people who’d make the best bandmates based on the musical taste tests you took last week. You can break down from there but I’d prefer if you didn’t do solo projects. The lists are posted right there on the wall, meet with the whole group before deciding who’ll you work best with. Choose wisely.” She warned before popping off her desk and moving to sit behind it.

Aurora was lost, she knew this had to be Lynn. How many people are in that exact situation?

Not surprisingly she ended up matched up with her brother, Kennedy, Garrett, and Jared -along with a few others who broke off into a different band. They all decided to stick to their typical band rolls with Kenny stepping up to do half the vocals with Aurora. They thought they’d spice their band up by adding Rora’s violin like bands I Am Ghost, Yellowcard, and the handful of others.

She wasn’t there at all throughout the whole first half of the class. The bell that meant the end of fifth period sounded.

The class went out, to use the restroom or even just to get five minutes of stretch time.

Aurora stayed in the class.

“Ms. Whalen, what’s your brother’s band’s name?” She asked from her seat unsure.

Miss Whalen lifted her head, “Why?” Curiosity filled her.

“I think I know his daughter.”

***

“How do I tell her this Sky?” Rora asked as they walked toward their cars.

“Just come out and say it I suppose.” Sky said as she wondered if that was truly the right thing. “She’s had relatives sprung on her before.”

Aurora looked at her as she said that. “Aren’t you supposed to be the compassionate one?”

“I like to shake it up.” She said breezily. “Just tell her soon.”

“I’ll tell her tomorrow.”

The next day rolled around faster than she hoped.

At the end of fourth hour she sent Lynn a text telling her to meet her in front of Ms. Whalen’s classroom.

“What‘s up Aurora?” She asked eagerly, excited to get home away from school and the people in it.

Aurora led her into the classroom and into Ms. Whalen’s little office. “I wanted you to meet Ms. Whalen…” She said as an introduction as they stood right across from her.

“Your aunt.” Ms. Whalen finished as she stood up extending her hand out to Lynn.

“What?” This was more insane than her mother springing Cory on her.

“I’m your father’s sister.” She said calmly with a smile.

Aurora excused herself, closing the door behind her. Thinking her job there was done.

“I thought my dad didn’t even know about me how would you?” Lynn asked dropping into the chair opposite Ms Whalen’s.

“He just found out about you by stumbling across your mother’s blog.” She said as she sat back down.

“Who the hell doesn’t read that blog?” She thought to herself.

“Aurora told me it was you when I rambled about it in class and I was never more excited. Neither of us have kids, so we‘re both psyched.” That was a word that even an adult rocker chick would drop without shame and Lynn loved it. “I guess that’s the best term for it. Do you want to meet your dad? If you want to he’d love to have you in his life.” She spoke the last part gently knowing this was a lot to deal with.

Lynn felt back into a corner and panicked she had no idea what to say. Did she want to met the guy that shared genes with her?

“Can I have some time to think about this?” She asked desperately.

“Of course you can, take all the time you need darling.” She said as they both stood up. She put her hands on Lynn’s shoulders comfortingly. “God, you look like James.” She mused aloud.

Lynn took stock of Ms. Whalen. They were about the same height, their hair was similar in color, and they had the same build. This woman was definitely related to her.

She muttered out a “thanks” with a smile before heading for the door.

She all but ran from the building. She needed time to think.

The key was in her ignition faster then she could believe and she was out of the lot faster then ever before.

This whole thing was plaguing her mind. She was stressed did she or didn’t she?

Her nails clicked against the steering wheel. This was a new habit, she loved the sound of the acrylics click.

She wanted to swim but today was the first day the weather dipped low. It was too cold to swim. She’d have to face this. She’s have to behave like an adult something she hadn’t done in a while.

When she got home Cory was gone but Cassandra’s car was home.

She needed to talk to her mother.

“Mom.” She started calling the second she got through the door.

“Yeah honey!” Her mother called back from the kitchen.

She walked into the kitchen and sat by her mom who was reading some magazine she shut right when Lynn walked in. She could see her baby needed her.

“What’s wrong love?” She asked running her hand through Lynn’s hair.

“What was my dad like?” She asked softly. Not really making eye contact with Cassandra at all.

“Larry?” That was usually the only guy she referred to as her dad.

Lynn shock her head no. “No, my biological father.” She finally raised her eyes pleadingly to Cassandra.

Cassandra was dying to know what spurred this on but she knew she could get to that until she answered the question. She smiled as she went back into the memories. “He was very sweet. The most mellow rocker of that time period.” She laughed to herself. “I liked that. I pursued him, not the other way around. He was almost shy. Very honest. You’re a lot more like him than me. He was a good man.” She concluded honestly. “So what inspired this Lynn?”

Lynn was only more conflicted. The words helped her a little bit but she still wasn’t sure. She wasn’t sure whether she was supposed to regard the man who raised her as her father or the man whom she actually had something genetic, something set in stone. “His sister is Rora’s music teacher.”

“No way Lynda Whalen is a music teacher now?” She couldn’t believe this. Lynda Whalen was one of those legends that no one remembered. She played for dozens of bands as a temp. The only girl temp popularly rolling from band to band playing any instrument they needed. Almost no temp plays everything and anything you need.

“You knew her too?!” Lynn couldn’t stand this insanity.

Cassandra laughed. “No, but she was legendary in her time. I guess no ever respected her enough for her to let her really fly.”

This at least eased that idea. “Did you name me after her?” Lynn, Lynda, logical question.

“I didn’t even realize you were James’ daughter, but I hoped if you got half her name you’d be half as strong of a woman. Defy as many people telling you that you couldn’t as she would.” Cassandra said with a dreamy smile. “I think you will too. You’ll be a legend all your own.”

Lynn smiled at her mom and thanked her before running up to her room to do any little bit of homework she had then started a pros and cons list finding neither jumping out more than the other.

She was stuck.

She paced her room. Trying to think of an answer.

Something finally struck her.

She pulled out her laptop and googled James Whalen.

Found her father, he was some sort of big wig at a record company in New York. She found a current picture of him. He had a kind smile, looked like a dad, like Robert.

She could hardly believe she was looking at her father.

In her room she remained the rest of the night, skipping dinner and all.

The next day at school she went to see Ms Whalen between classes again.

She knocked lightly on the open office door.

Lynda looked up at her and smiled. “Come in Lynn.”

“Hey Ms. Whalen… Um… Do you want to send James a picture? I’m not sure if I want to meet him but I saw a recent picture of him and… Well I don’t know but I felt better at least knowing I’d know him from any random person on the street.” Lynn stumbled about awkwardly.

Lynda just smiled up at her. “I’m sure he’d love that.” She pulled out her sidekick and snapped a shot of Lynn.

Lynda sent the picture to her brother in New York.

“My mom named me after you. She didn’t know I was your niece but she was hoping with part of your name I’d be as legendary as you.” She spoke kindly before getting up.

Ms. Whalen’s smile broadened. “With your parents kid, you’re a legend all your own. You don’t need me to be a legend.”

She walked out. She could never imagine a family being this accepting. It was like as broken and crazy as her family was it was absolutely perfect as you found the pieces.