Dreams vs Reality
Five
“Lily Smith is in Room 315,” the kind receptionist said.
“Thank you.”
Lily’s room was the first room I saw when I stepped out of the elevator. There she was. Tubes were surrounding her whole body. Her face looked burned. Her eyes were closed. She somehow managed to look beautiful even in her condition. I took a seat next to her. Gently I held her warm hands and circled my thumb atop it.
I reached down to get unzip my bag, which held my guitar. I quietly sang while strumming my guitar strings.
“If it's love that keeps us breathin'
Gives us something to believe in
Is it fear that makes us blind?
Tell me, why is love so hard to find?
If we hear so much about it
And we can't go on without it
Let the mystery unwind
Tell me, why is love so hard to find?
All I know is when you find it
Even earth can feel like you're in heaven
Tell me now, unlock the secret
Help us all to find the hidden treasure
From the moment we arrive
We want to fill the space inside
We all need to feel alive"
I stopped singing when Lily turned over.
“Ethan,” she whispered in her sleep.
She opened her eyes slowly. Lily had a confused look on her face.
“Lily?”
“Jesse?” she asked, weakly. She looked really surprised to see me. “What are you doing here?”
“Your mom told me what happened. I got here was soon as I can.”
She was in a moment of thought, and then closed her eyes again.
“Lily?” I asked again.
“What Jesse?” She asked, obviously annoyed.
“Aren’t you gonna say something?”
“I can barely speak without my bodying aching. Out of all people why would I want to speak to you?”
“But-”
A guy with bandages on his face interrupted, “-is everything okay in here?”
Lily’s eyes widened and her face formed a smile, “Ethan!”
“Hey,” the guy said kissing her forehead. “I didn’t think you’d be up by now. How are you doing?”
“I’m doing fine now.”
“Well I got good news. The nurse said you’d be out by early morning tomorrow,” A smile in his voice.
I didn’t know what to say. I wasn’t part of this conversation and didn’t know what was going on. I mean I knew Lily was going to be mad, but we were best friends? Doesn’t that stand for anything? I didn’t only come here because of her accident, but also to tell her everything we left unspoken in Ardsley. She needed to know why I didn’t contact her over all this time. Why I never told her how I felt. I’m starting to think it’s a little bit too late…
I looked up to see that the guy had left. I was too preoccupied in my own thoughts I wasn’t aware of what was happening around me. I looked at Lily. She was staring at the other side of the room, not wanting to talk to me.
“Look Lily, I know you want nothing to do with me, but can you just listen?”
She nodded waiting for an explanation.
“Once I got to California, I was really excited. I was happy with everything. My dreams were finally coming true. But not everything seemed right. Something, or should I say someone was missing. You. I missed you so much Lily.”
“So much to never give me or call? So much to tell me that you changed your number?”
“I wanted to. I really did. But, I was scared.”
“Scared of what?”
“Scared of my feelings for you. When you were gone, that’s when I realized that I truly loved you. And I knew that I couldn’t just talk to you the same way again. I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know if you felt the same way either. Our friendship was too important at the time to risk. But it looks like we don’t even have that anymore.”
She let out a big sigh and said, “Jesse, I loved you.” I took note of the past tense. “I missed you so much. You don’t know how much it hurt me. If you told me, you would have found out that I returned those feelings. I was in love with you for a while. But now, I have someone.” She paused and looked down to smile. “Someone who makes me really happy.”
“I understand,” I said. “I’m really sorry for whatever pain I made you go through. I’m happy for you.”
She just smiled at me.
“Well, if you ever want to rekindle our friendship, give me a call,” I said, handing her a piece of paper with my number on it.
“Thank you,” She said.
“You’re welcome,” I said and then asked a question I’ve been meaning to ask, “Oh and your mom was telling me what had happened in the fire. Why did you go back?”
She didn’t answer me right away. Instead she pulled out a necklace from under her shirt. It was the necklace I gave her. Why in the world would she risk her life just to save a necklace that I gave her? Maybe there was hope after all.
“Thank you.”
Lily’s room was the first room I saw when I stepped out of the elevator. There she was. Tubes were surrounding her whole body. Her face looked burned. Her eyes were closed. She somehow managed to look beautiful even in her condition. I took a seat next to her. Gently I held her warm hands and circled my thumb atop it.
I reached down to get unzip my bag, which held my guitar. I quietly sang while strumming my guitar strings.
“If it's love that keeps us breathin'
Gives us something to believe in
Is it fear that makes us blind?
Tell me, why is love so hard to find?
If we hear so much about it
And we can't go on without it
Let the mystery unwind
Tell me, why is love so hard to find?
All I know is when you find it
Even earth can feel like you're in heaven
Tell me now, unlock the secret
Help us all to find the hidden treasure
From the moment we arrive
We want to fill the space inside
We all need to feel alive"
I stopped singing when Lily turned over.
“Ethan,” she whispered in her sleep.
She opened her eyes slowly. Lily had a confused look on her face.
“Lily?”
“Jesse?” she asked, weakly. She looked really surprised to see me. “What are you doing here?”
“Your mom told me what happened. I got here was soon as I can.”
She was in a moment of thought, and then closed her eyes again.
“Lily?” I asked again.
“What Jesse?” She asked, obviously annoyed.
“Aren’t you gonna say something?”
“I can barely speak without my bodying aching. Out of all people why would I want to speak to you?”
“But-”
A guy with bandages on his face interrupted, “-is everything okay in here?”
Lily’s eyes widened and her face formed a smile, “Ethan!”
“Hey,” the guy said kissing her forehead. “I didn’t think you’d be up by now. How are you doing?”
“I’m doing fine now.”
“Well I got good news. The nurse said you’d be out by early morning tomorrow,” A smile in his voice.
I didn’t know what to say. I wasn’t part of this conversation and didn’t know what was going on. I mean I knew Lily was going to be mad, but we were best friends? Doesn’t that stand for anything? I didn’t only come here because of her accident, but also to tell her everything we left unspoken in Ardsley. She needed to know why I didn’t contact her over all this time. Why I never told her how I felt. I’m starting to think it’s a little bit too late…
I looked up to see that the guy had left. I was too preoccupied in my own thoughts I wasn’t aware of what was happening around me. I looked at Lily. She was staring at the other side of the room, not wanting to talk to me.
“Look Lily, I know you want nothing to do with me, but can you just listen?”
She nodded waiting for an explanation.
“Once I got to California, I was really excited. I was happy with everything. My dreams were finally coming true. But not everything seemed right. Something, or should I say someone was missing. You. I missed you so much Lily.”
“So much to never give me or call? So much to tell me that you changed your number?”
“I wanted to. I really did. But, I was scared.”
“Scared of what?”
“Scared of my feelings for you. When you were gone, that’s when I realized that I truly loved you. And I knew that I couldn’t just talk to you the same way again. I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know if you felt the same way either. Our friendship was too important at the time to risk. But it looks like we don’t even have that anymore.”
She let out a big sigh and said, “Jesse, I loved you.” I took note of the past tense. “I missed you so much. You don’t know how much it hurt me. If you told me, you would have found out that I returned those feelings. I was in love with you for a while. But now, I have someone.” She paused and looked down to smile. “Someone who makes me really happy.”
“I understand,” I said. “I’m really sorry for whatever pain I made you go through. I’m happy for you.”
She just smiled at me.
“Well, if you ever want to rekindle our friendship, give me a call,” I said, handing her a piece of paper with my number on it.
“Thank you,” She said.
“You’re welcome,” I said and then asked a question I’ve been meaning to ask, “Oh and your mom was telling me what had happened in the fire. Why did you go back?”
She didn’t answer me right away. Instead she pulled out a necklace from under her shirt. It was the necklace I gave her. Why in the world would she risk her life just to save a necklace that I gave her? Maybe there was hope after all.
♠ ♠ ♠
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