40 Ways to Annoy Tom Kaulitz

I was currently sitting on the small couch in the tour bus while the boys were exploring the venue. Oddly enough, it felt good to be alone. I hadn’t been for a while and I didn’t know how good it felt to have some me time. I finished my second doodle in the notebook that I found in the bottom of my suitcase not long ago. I forgot I had even packed it until I was looking for the rainbow toe socks I had shoved in the bottom of it.

I sighed, I wasn’t in the mood for doodling anymore and I couldn’t think of one thing that would be even remotely entertaining. I looked around the room, there had to be something. My gaze lingered over to my fingernails, which currently had little peace signs painted on them. I’m not sure why, but the peace signs made me think of Bob Marley, and he made me think of dread, which instantly made me think of Tom.

“Hmmm…”I wondered and looked down at my notebook. I grabbed the pen that I had seat down beside me not to long ago and began to write on a fresh piece of notebook paper.

1.Ask him if he’s related to Bob Marley.

A mischievous smile stretched across my tan face as I thought of the most brilliant idea. I was going to make a list of ways to annoy Tom, and then use them against him in the near future. This is the proper way to spend your time away from the boys anyways; at least it is for me.

I continued to write down the ideas as they came to me.

2. If you want to get his attention, instead of calling his name, carelessly grab his hair.

3. Sell his virginity on e-bay.

4.Seriously ask him why his guitar never got pregnant.

5. Whenever he comes into a room play "Do You Wanna F---?" really loud and hum along.

6. Laugh whenever he mentions his Escalade or when you see it and when he asks why tell him Bill has to answer that.

7. On a really hot day shove his head under the water faucet and get his dread soaking wet before locking him outside yelling "Okay Tom! Water the plants!"

8. Ask him if he's ticklish and if he says no tie him down and poke him non-stop saying "I don't believe you."

9. Find his Gibson [Guitar] and 'accidentally' snap all the strings. When he yells at you say, "The August Rush kid can do it why can't I?!"

10. Whenever Pirates of the Caribbean come on turn up the volume all the way and say "Tom, your homies are calling!"

11. At 3am every morning wake him up and ask where the bathroom is.

12. Whenever he tries to "do it" with you spazz out and yell "I didn't do it!" before curling up into a ball.

13. Hiss at him for no apparent reason.

14. Constantly remind him that his car contributes to pollution more than Bill's hairspray.

15. Sit on his bed when he comes in with a girl stare at them and ask "Who's she?" before asking "Who are you?" and refuse to leave.

16. Laugh at his jokes constantly and then say it wasn't funny.

17. Keep calling him Bill and when he asks you to stop say "Sorry Tom," but then continue to call him Bill.

18. When he's asleep hide all his hats under his bed.

19. The next morning when he comes down stairs, asking where is hats are mutter "The dust bunnies ate them," and then bolt out the door.

20.Tell him you'd rather see Gustav without a shirt.

21. 'Accidentally' shirk all his clothes in the drier before a concert and then suggest wearing Bill's clothes.

22. When he comes out in Bill's clothes stare at him before screaming "I understand!"

23. Tell him that most girls don't like dreads and if he believes you laugh at him.

24. Whenever he speaks let him finish and then ask him what language he is speaking.

25. After he says something ask him to repeat it.

26. Cling to him and when he tries to get away threaten to take away his make-up kit.

27. Make a fire using his hairspray and then dance around it.

28. Hide under his bed and trip him when he wakes up and tries to get out of bed.

29.Randomly throw a cat on his head and pretend like you didn't do anything.

30. Right before he sits down, pull the chair away and smile.

I giggled evilly as titled the page as ’30 Ways to Annoy Tom Kaulitz’. Now, all I have to do is hide it so Tom can’t find it. I looked around, no where seemed to be the right place. Then it came to me, I lifted up the couch cushion beside of me and stuck the notebook until it. I put the cushion over it and smiled with triumph. There is no way he will find it there.



I was warm in snug, right in my little bunk. I was in the place where you were asleep but could still hear the world around you, but I was so close to just falling into dreamland. I could almost feel it when suddenly I was awakened but two arms shaking me violently.

My eyes shot open and I pulled myself out of the persons grasp. “What do you want?” I whined sending a glare at Tom, not paying attention to the book that was in his hand.

Tom sent me the glare back full force, causing me to shrink back a bit. “What is this?” He said, his teeth gritted together, I looked at the object in his hand and instantly recognized it as my Care Bear notebook.

“My notebook?” I said raising an eyebrow at him, completely forgetting its contents.

“No, this,” He said turning to the page holding my ways to annoy him. I took one glance at it and my eyes widened.

“Oh, that,” I hesitated and looked around nervously, “We’ll you see…” I trailed off. I need a way out of here and fast. I looked down at the imaginary watch on my wrist and sent Tom a nervous smile. “Oh, look at the time; I’m late for my giraffe grooming appointment. Kay, bye!” I said quickly and sprinted out of the room.