40 Ways to Annoy Tom Kaulitz

The warmth of the bright sun is what brought me out of sleep’s grasp. I moaned lightly and rolled over, trying to shield my face from the sun. I was so tired and I absolutely did not want to get up. Getting up was currently on the bottom of my to do list. All I wanted to do today was lay in bed and be lazy.

But, the sun had other plans. When I rolled over, the bright light continued to shine in my face from the other window. I growled lowly and huffed. I slowly opened my eyes, and let them adjust to the sudden light before sitting up. I held the soft feather comforter to my bare chest as I looked around the room.

I was alone, that much I knew. The other side of the bed was disheveled, telling me that Tom had woken up sometime before me. No surprise there. I scratched the back of my head with my free arm, messing up my already tangle ridden hair.

I picked up Tom’s giant t-shirt he had thrown across the room and threw it on. It reached down to my knees, so I didn’t bother putting on any bottoms. I just slipped my underwear on and decided to go look for Tom.

I walked out of the main bedroom of the hotel room we were staying in and shivered as he cold breeze hit my legs. I followed the sound of glass clinking together, and found Tom in the kitchen. He had just finished pouring a cup of coffee into one of the complementary mugs.

He looked up at me as I entered and shot me a smile. I couldn’t help but smile back, he looked so cute. I didn’t even realize he was only wearing his long flannel pajama pants until he turned to grab another mug for me.

I had to keep the satisfied feeling I was currently experiencing from showing up on my face. “Good morning!” I sang happily, walking farther into the kitchen, and leaning against the counter beside Tom.

He placed the mug that he had retrieved from the cabinet beside me and I poured the black coffee into it. “How did you sleep?” I asked, while stirring a packet of sugar into the bitter drink.

“Amazing,” He replied simply and gave me a knowing look. I only rolled my eyes and suppressed the giggles that fought to escape, all the while keeping a smile on my face.

“You’re a piece of work, Tom.” I commented, shaking my head. I grabbed my coffee and walked into the small living room area.

Tom followed close behind and sat down on the couch, placing his mug on the coffee table. I mimicked his actions and snuggled up to his warm body on the couch.

“What’s on the schedule for today?” I mumbled into his chest.

“Bill said that we were going to start writing for the new album today.” Tom said, running his fingers through my head.

I frowned, and grunted in disapproval. I really wanted Tom all to myself today. We hadn’t had a day to ourselves once since we had become a couple. And I was determined to get at least one before this tour ended.

“What?” Tom asked, pushing away from his chest lightly to get a good look at my face.

“I don’t want you too,” I pouted. “I want you spend the day with me, and only me.” I grumbled, and threw my arms around him possessively.

His deep laugh rumbled from deep within his chest. Causing the vibrations from his to run across my cheek. “It’s not funny!” I yelled, pulling away and slapping his chest lightly.

“Yes it is,” He said through bouts of laughter.

I huffed and crossed my arms, doing what I do best, pouting.

“You’re so cute when you’re mad.” Tom smiled and pulled me to him, kissing my lips softly before pulling away.

“Please stay here,” I whined pathetically. I knew it wouldn’t work, but I had to at least give it a shot.

“You and I both know that I can’t do that. Bill will throw a bitch fit, and that’s not really something that I think either of us want.” He said knowingly.

I sighed when I realized he was right. Bill was the queen of drama when it came to something important. He was waltz his skinny but right on in here and lecture us both while saying things like ’Do you realize what you’ve done?’ and ’You’re so irresponsible.’

That was not something that I wanted to endure.

My thoughts were interrupted when Tom’s lips met mine. I smiled and kissed back. It was short lived, and soon he was pulling away. “I knew you’d see things my way.” He muttered, taking the last sip of his coffee. “I should probably get ready now.” He mumbled while looking at the digital clock on the wall.

He stood and walked out of the room, leaving me to my thoughts.

The more I thought about it. The more I didn’t care about Bill getting angry. I just wanted a day to myself with Tom. The only problem was, I wasn’t sure how to get it. I racked my brain, trying to come up with a solution quickly before Tom was dressed and ready to go.

That’s when it hit me.

I quickly stood and scrambled into the bedroom. I could hear Tom getting ready in the bathroom, so I made a beeline for my suitcase and opened the pocket I knew the object I was looking for contained. I quickly pulled out the almost empty roll and left the room quickly, erasing all evidence that I had been there. Didn’t want Tom to get suspicious.

I walked back into the room, threw the roll down onto the couch, and walked over to the small wooden chair sitting in the corner. I picked it up easily and walked over to the door. I made sure it was locked, and then placed the top of the chair under the door knob. It was leaning at an angle, so if anyone managed to unlock the door that wouldn’t be able to open the door anyways.

I smiled happily with my handy work and walked back over to the couch. I grabbed the small roll of silver duct tape and went to get into position. I hid behind the wall, occasionally looking down the hall with impatience written all over my face.

I had to stop myself from looking again as I heard his show clad feet walking down the carpeted hallway. I watched his shadow, trying my best to plan this perfectly.

When I thought the time was right, I pounced. I jumped on to Tom’s back as he rounded the corner, causing him to fall on his stomach. As quickly as I could, grabbed both of his hands and somehow managed to duct tape them together. And did the same to his legs before he could realize that he could use them against me. I have to admit, it did take some time to do once he realized what was happening. But, I managed.

“Natasha!” Tom yelled, the anger in his voice was obvious, “What the fuck are you doing?” He said, glaring at me with the best of his ability. He was still laying face down on the floor, so he had to crane his head to an angle to get look at my face.

“Spending time with my boyfriend,” I replied smartly while shooting him a smug smile. “Now shut up so I can get you into a comfortable position.”

Tom gave me an ‘are-you-fucking-kidding-me?’ look, but none the less kept his mouth shut until he was sitting upright with his back against the couch.

“I should have known that you wouldn’t let it go that easy.” Tom grumbled lowly as I plopped down in front of him with a smile on my face. Regardless of his anger, I was going to have fun. Plus, I was running out of ideas for pranks, or schemes as I like to call them, and needed a little bit of help.

I opened my notebook and flipped to a clean page, all the while ignoring Tom’s constant angry grumbling. “So, I need help thinking up of new ideas the torture Gustav. I haven’t really done much to him on this trip and I think it’s turn.” I said, clicking the top of my lead pencil unto the small point of graphite appeared.

“What do you think I should do?” I asked, looking down at the piece of paper in concentration.

When he didn’t answer, I glanced up to find him glaring at me furiously. I only smiled and placed the notebook behind me.

“Aw, is Tomi an angry boy?” I cooed, pinching his cheek in between my fingers. He growled and pulled his face away from my grip. I frowned lightly, but quickly erased it from my face and replaced it with the smile I had on before. “That’s okay,” I said, picking up the notebook and placing it back on my lap, “We can just sit here all day then. I was going to let you go when we came up with a really good one, but never mind then.” I shrugged lightly, and smoothed out of the paper.

I only looked up when I noticed he was fidgeting slightly. He looked to be debating with himself, and I decided to give him a little nudge. “Of course,” I said, pretending to talk to myself and gaining his attention, “I could always go back to my original plan if Tom decides he wants to help. But, I’m not going to just sit here forever and wait.” I tapped my chin in a mock-thinking position, “I’ll give him a minute to decided, and he if doesn’t by then, I’ll just decided for him.” I nodded to myself, and only stole a glance at Tom after a few seconds.

“Fine, fine. I’ll help.” He caved.

I started to do a small happy dance that involved waving my arms in the air, but was stopped when Tom decided he wasn’t finished talking. Prick.

“But,” He said putting emphasis on the word, “only if you agree to let me ago afterward. No if, ands, or buts about it,” He said, giving me a stern look.

I debated this for a few moments before sticking my hand out, “You’ve got yourself a deal, Tomi Boy.” I said gruffly, trying my best to imitate a western cowboy.

After a few seconds, I realized that he couldn’t shake my hand. I giggled nervously and pulled my hand back sheepishly. “Sorry about that,” I said with a goofy smile on my face. I smoothed out the paper once again and looked back up to Tom, ignoring the obvious glare he was sending me.

“So, where should we start?” I asked.



It took a few hours, but eventually we had a very elaborate plan set out for Gustav. I have to admit that I was very proud of it. Even if I barley put any effort forth, most of it was Tom, which really surprised me. He must really want to get out of here.

If you were wondering, Bill did come banging on the door. But, I informed him that I was kidnapping Tom for a few hours and he would just have to deal. He wasn’t too happy about this, obviously. And banged on the door yelling loudly for almost half an hour before giving up and retreating to wherever.

“Well, this seems like a nice diabolical plan,” I said happily, closing the notebook and placing it on the coffee table beside me. “I think you’ve earned your freedom,” I said, and pulled a pair of small scissors out of my bra.

I cut his feet free first, and then his hands. It literally wasn’t seconds later that he was pushing past me and walking for the door. I stumbled slightly as he pushed me out of the way and glared at him.

“Hey!” I yelled, waving the scissors around as I walked after him, “What was that for?” I growled, knitting my eyebrows together.

He didn’t answer. He only grabbed the chair and threw it out of the way roughly. It slammed against the wall on my right side, causing me to squeak and jump back away from it.

I didn’t even see Tom yank open the door and stomp out. I turned to the door that was just standing open and my heart dropped. I honestly didn’t mean to upset him that much. I felt tears prick my eyes, but refused to let them back. I just sucked it up closed the door.

I could only think of how much it’s going to suck when he gets back as I picked up the chair and put it back in it’s original place.

I sulked into the bedroom, drawing the curtains the hide the setting sun. I then crawled into bed, feeling the energy drain from my body. I snuggled up to the pillow, allowing myself to get comfortable before drifting off to sleep.

The last thing I remember thinking for drifting off into dreamland was, ’And just when things started to get good.’