40 Ways to Annoy Tom Kaulitz

Two days later and I’m sitting in the hotel room alone. I woke up this morning puking up my guts, and opted out of playing laser tag with the guys today like I had planned. I swung my feet, which were handing off the arm of the couch, back and forth while I stared up at the white ceiling.

I was feeling so much better now that it’s been a few hours and I was starting to wish that I had gone with them despite my illness. The silence that filled to room we torture. I was bored out of my mind. Usually when I’m alone in hotel rooms it’s because Tom’s mad at me and I’m usually trying to find a way to make it up to him. But, that wasn’t the case now and I was beyond bored.

I glanced at my phone again, hoping that someone had texted me back by now. I had texted them all about thirty minutes ago, begging them to come save me from my boredom, and none of them bothered to answer. I wasn’t sure if it was because they were too busy playing their insanely awesome game of tag, or if it was because they didn’t hear their phones, or even if it was because they didn’t want to answer. And quite frankly, I didn’t care. I was dying here. They know how to text, at least I think they know how to text, and need to reply soon.

My impatience grew with every second I stared at my phone; waiting wasn’t one of my strong points. The minutes seems to pass by slower and slower, every one of the taunting me as my phones’ screen remanded blank of new text messages.

I growl angrily as my phones' clock flashed from 1:24 to 1:25. That was it. They obviously didn’t know how to send a text message. So, I decided that I was going to teach them.

I unlocked my phone and scrolled down my recent text messages until I got to Tom’s name. I opened it and began typing my message.

"Obviously, you have no idea how text messaging works, so I'm going to teach you."

I sent that one before I started typing my long message.

"Okay, you see that thing down there? That thing that says reply? CLICK IT. THEN, you type what you want to say in the black space that pops up when you do. AFTER THAT, you hit send. And voila, you've sent a text message. It's really not as hard as it sounds. So, try it. Now." I hit send, and then started playing my favorite game, the waiting game.

Five minutes passed without a text. I tried busying myself with watching the television, but I couldn’t bring myself to actually pay attention to it. I kept stealing glances at my phones which lay only a few feet away on the coffee table. I needed him to reply.

I growled in frustration and grabbed the phone from the glass table. I clicked the middle button, lighting up the screen and showing me that I still had no new texts. I unlocked it once again, and started a new text to Tom.

"Okay, so it seems that was a little bit too complicated for you. I don't know why, though. I pretty much gave you a play-by-play. I guess I'll try again though. Step one; READ MY MESSAGES. Step Two; CLICK THE FUCKING REPLY BUTTON. Step Three; TYPE THESE WORDS IN THE BLANK SPACE WITH YOUR QWERTY KEYBOARD “Hey, Nattie. I know you’re bored out of you fucking mind. So, me and the guys are going to come get your sexy ass and go do something amazingly fun.”. Step Four; PUSH THE GREEN BUTTON THAT SAYS SEND. Now, you have successfully sent a text message. So, get your lazy ass over here and pick me up." I hit the send button.

I let ten minutes pass this time until I was unable to fight the urge to send another text message.

"It's official. I'm dating a complete idiot. I'm just going to text you random things until you answer."

And, that's what I did.

"Bubbles."

"Turtles."

"Honey."

"Marshmallows."

"Ginger."

"Fuck."

"Donkey."

"Unicorn."

"Tom."

"Tom."

"T O M."

I sighed and threw my phone on the other side of the couch. "I give up," I muttered, my grumpy attitude showing up again.

I lay down on the couch, my phone lying at my feet. "I'm just going to take a nap until that bastard decided to answer." I mumbled to myself and snuggled unto the plush cushions.

Surprisingly, it didn't take me long to drift off into a soundless sleep.



I didn't sleep long. Literally, I was asleep for a total of fifteen minutes until the feeling of my phone buzzing on my feet woke me.

“Fucking Tom,” I grumbled angrily, “I'll fucking kill him.”

I reached down to my feet, fumbling around for a few seconds in my sleep ridden stupor, and grabbed my phone. I clicked the button and willed my eyes to focus on the new text message from Tom.

"I know how to send a fucking text message, Natasha. We were playing laser tag, do you still want us to come get you?"

I smirked. By the way he typed that message, I could tell he was at least a little bit annoyed and the fact of that gave me a little pleasure.

I opened a new blank text and composed my reply. "Nah, I'm just going to take a nap. All that teaching made me sleepy. Have fun though, it’s good to know you’ve grown some brain cells at least. See you later!"

I sent the message and the proceeded to turn my phone off, knowing that it would piss him off even more.

I smiled as I drifted off to sleep, my grip loosened on my phone and it tumbled to the floor. I love my life.