40 Ways to Annoy Tom Kaulitz

The days went by fast, and before I knew it, the break was over. Not that it was much of a break for me. I had spent the last of the days cooped up inside because of the throwing up I’d been doing. It wasn’t fun, and I was trying my damnedest to figure out what was wrong with me. I was hoping that it was just a stomach virus, but something told me it wasn’t that. I had a feeling I knew what it was, but I didn’t want to admit it. I was too young.

Today, sadly, had been one of the days that I woke up sick. The guys were heading over to the stadium where the concert would be held today, and they pretty much demanded that I stay inside. But, me being, well, me, refused to stay inside any longer. I couldn’t take it; I could feel the cabin fever just taking over. So, I forced them to take me with them.

So, here I was, wondering around the backstage, opening random doors. It was actually really hard to find something to do when all the people that could entertain you are busy. Bill was helping with some microphone crap. Tom and Georg were tuning their instruments and Gustav was following the people setting up his drums around making sure they didn’t break anything. Why? I wasn’t sure. They did hire people to do that for them, but the insisted on helping. Freaks.

My stomach grumbled loudly and I knew I needed something to eat. But, I wasn’t going to go hunt for something. I knew if I ate I would only puke it back up. So, I just decided to wait until later and find something to keep myself occupied.

I half skipped to the dressing rooms, hoping to find someone in there and lucky me, there was. Tom was sitting on one of the couches, guitar resting on his knee, and was concentrating on tuning it. Not that I cared, someone else could do that. I needed entertainment, now.

“Tomi!” I shouted happily, flopping down on the couch next to him.

He glanced at me and turned back to this guitar. “Hey Nattie,” He said, strumming a few cords.

“I’m bored,” I said, lying back on the couch, sprawling out my arms.

He grunted when my hand smacked him in the face. “Then go find something to do,” He said, moving my hand to my lap.

I huffed, “I’m lonely; I want to hang out with someone.” I whined, burying my head in his shoulder.

He could pretty much feel his eyes roll, “Then go find someone else,” He said, moving slightly and going back to his guitar.

I growled, “But, I wanna hang out with you!” I cried, pulling on the bottom of his guitar. “Someone else can do this for you! Don’t leave me to suffer!” I wailed, tugging harder.

He groaned and stood, guitar in hand. “Fine, fine! God,” He ended in a harsh whisper. He walked over to the other side of the room and placed his guitar in his stand. “What do you want to do?” He asked, turning to look at me.

I looked around the room, and smiled when my eyes landed on the closet. I knew exactly what I wanted to do now. “Let’s play a board game.” I said happily, standing and walking over to the closet.

He followed me and I tried to reach for Monopoly on the top shelf. I played it off like I couldn’t reach any farther, when I knew I could and turned to give Tom puppy dog eyes. “I can’t reach, you get it!” I said, moving behind him.

He sighed, and easily reached up to grab the box. I smiled and pushed him with all the force my boney arms could muster. He stumbled into the closet, a string of profanities spewing out of his mouth. I quickly slammed the door shut before he could react, and locked the door from the outside.

I laughed, “You’re my prisoner now! No escape!” I cried, laughing manically like the evil scientists in the movies.

“Haha, Nattie. Now let me out.” Tom’s dry muffled voice traveled through the door.

“Never!”

He heard him let out a strangled noise, like a growl and an annoy groan mixed together. “Please?” he spat.

“Nope, not with that attitude. Plus, I want something in return for your release.” I said, leaning against the door.

“And what would that be?” He said through clenched teeth.

I smiled, “Teach me German!” I cried happily, knowing that that was pretty much an impossible thing. I already knew German, so how could he teach me? See what I did there?

“You already know German, Nattie.”

“No I don’t!” I said, suppressing the giggled that wanted to explode out of my mouth.

There were a few moments of silences before Tom said, “You’re speaking it right now.”

Damn, he’s right. I had to find a way to get past that. I picked up a few M&M’s that were in a bowl on the coffee table and tossed them in my mouth. “No I’m not.” I said, with my best American accent. It wasn’t much, but it would do.

He let out a small annoyed yell and I laughed, stuffing my face with more M&M’s.

“Nattie, I swear to god if you don’t let me out of this closet, I will kill you. I do the worst thing imaginable.”

“And what would that be?” I asked smartly, chewing on a few more M&M’s.

“Tickle your feet.”

I gasped, “You wouldn’t da-” I stopped mid sentence and clutched my stomach softly. I shouldn’t have eaten that candy.

I bolted out of the room, leaving Tom yelling profanities, and ran for the nearest bathroom. I entered, and pushed myself into the one of the stalls, bending over the toilet, and threw up all the candy I had just stuffed down my throat. After the contents of my stomach were gone, leaving my throat burning, I continued to dry heave for a few seconds before I could leave the stall.

I walked over to the sink and washed my mouth out the best I could. These where the times when I wished I carried around a toothbrush. I sighed and looked at myself in the mirror. There was something wrong, something very wrong and I was sure that I knew what it was. It couldn’t be that, though. I was too young. But, I had to figure it out.

I walked out of the bathroom, deciding to tell Tom about my suspicions and get a test. That would be the best, and only, thing to do in a situation like this.

When I reached the dressing room, I felt an instant eye roll. Tom was out of the closet and surrounded by a bunch of half dressed girls. I guess when I left they were let in and found him in the closet. I knew he was just soaking up the attention. I wasn’t bothered by it, either. It was Tom, he needed attention to survive and I knew he wouldn’t try anything.

I recognized three of the five girls as the ones that I gave the backstage passes to a few months ago to shut them up. They still looked the same and I was wondering how the fuck they got more backstage passes. Those things weren’t easy to come by. I shrugged it off and decided to go get the test myself.

I didn’t really feel like dealing with rabid fan girls and I would just tell Tom later. I turned on my heel and walked out the nearest exit.

“Now, just to find the nearest convenience store.” I mumbled to myself and started walking in a random direction.

I could only hope it was the right way.