Dieing Faithful.

I held your thin frame in my arms. The heart monitor beside you beeped slowly. The doctors said it wouldn't be long until you left me. It isn't fair. Why would you leave me like this? I have never left you. I don't deserve to be left behind to pick up the pieces of what you leave behind. I begged you not to let everything go this far. Irreversible. They cannot undo the damage you've done now. It's far too late. I brought a photo album to look through today. Look at us, happy. You, skinny but healthy, with a rich glow to your skin and a fire behind your grey eyes.I, with love filled eyes, and a heart filled to bursting point. Look at us now, you, frail and broken, damaged beyond repair. I, with a broken life, broken heart and broken lover. I never asked much of you, just to love me and stay by me. I begged you to eat, I tried to convince you that your beautiful, pale skin and grey eyes. You ignored my pleas. Now your leaving me. I know I'm wasting our precise time chastising you. Telling you how much heart break I've been forced to withhold all this time. When you give yourself to another person, it's hard to see them throw it away to be "perfect". Now you lay in a hospital bed, your once beautiful grey eyes, dull with drugs to keep you comfortable. I already miss the person you once were. I listen to you gasp for breathe. The room feels like death. I know I'm seeing you for the last time. My eyes fill with tears I refuse to shed. You've killed yourself in my eyes. I will not cry for you anymore. For months I've cried myself to sleep, watching you shrink and die before me. I lean forward and kiss you with all the passion I can fit into one kiss. My tongue searchs for yours as my hands rub the brittle skin on your stomach. Your kiss in return has as much passion as you've got left. I cherish the feel of your lips, your skin, your breathing against my chest. I lock all the sensory memories away to keep when times fall low. This is all I have left and I will take it to the grave with me. Your eyes find mine and you whisper a goodbye thats painful to hear, I watch your eyes fill with tears before they close. The monitor beside the hospital bed beeps loudly before it flatlines. I've been prepared to lose you all along but when I hear the monitor flatline I scream. It echoes around the room, ringing in my ears. I clutch your night shirt and beg you to come back to me. I am nothing without you here. I need your guidence, your patience, your passion, to fill my life with meaning. I feel hands pull me away as doctors rush in to give a futile attempt to bring you back. My soul crushes as I come to terms with the fact that, truely, you do not want nor expect to come back to me. Your body no longer fits your soul. They cover your body and record the time and cause of death. I cling to the bed. I cannot and will not leave you like this. Wheater you've left me or not, I've always been as faithful as a lost puppy. I cry into your bed sheets. I rush from the room. The smell of death has coated my nostrils forever. My car sweerves across the road out of control. It's impossible to drive when your crying this hard. Brakes squeal in the distance before all is white. I see your gorgeous grey eyes, once again filled with fire and passion before I join you, forever your lost little puppy.