You Won't See the Sun Anymore

I took a deep breath and wiped the tears away from my eyes. I couldn’t believe she was gone now. No one could. Now she was being put into the ground to rot away. I stood humbly watching as everyone around me cried. Her family was standing around the headstone and all of the bands were huddled around the opposing side.

“Are you okay Jack?” Alex asked, whispering, as I wiped more tears away from my eyes.

“Sure,” I lied.

I watched as some men took shovels and refilled the grave with dirt. My heart ached so badly. I wanted to pretend that she didn’t die, but that she had just went into hiding so I wouldn’t hurt anymore. When the last shovel-full of dirt hit the grave, I broke down. Alex looked over at me and pulled me into a friendly hug. I sobbed into his jacket. He didn’t know what to say, but I didn’t want him to say anything. I just wanted Cassadee back.

____

A week later.

I was finally starting to gather myself up and go places with people. It started out hard and now, it seemed easier. I had been forgetting more and more about Cassadee. All Time Low was in the studio recording the album, so I had some days off when there wasn’t anything to do. That’s when it hit me that I would never see Cassadee again.

My mourning had become outrageous. Everyone told me I was the one taking it the hardest. Cassadee had been more than a friend to me; she was even more than a baby sister to me. I couldn’t handle it well, definitely if that was the case. She committed suicide for hell’s sake. She did it to get back at me. I knew she did. The way we left things the last night I saw her made it quite obvious that it was my entire fault. I was the one at blame. But I couldn’t say anything to anyone about it.

A week exactly after the funeral, I was sitting down to watch some television on my day off from being in All Time Low when the doorbell rang. I got up and answered it.

“Package for Jack… Ba-ra-kat,” he said, looking down at the bulky thing in his arms.

“Oh, that’s me.”

The man handed me the box and left. I closed the door and took the somewhat large box to the kitchen table. I used my pocketknife on the tape, running it along the edges to break its seal. I pulled back the large flaps to reveal papers, CDs, and DVDs. I picked up the envelope sitting on the top of everything with ‘Jack’ scrawled across the front.

I ripped it open and read the letter.

I’m sorry I had to break your heart. I honestly meant nothing by this, definitely to you. Fame was getting to my head and I lost it. Plus with everything between you and me, I just couldn’t handle the pressure anymore.

Don’t forget that I’ll always love you. Even after all that we’ve been through. Just read all the papers, listen to the CDs, and most definitely watch the videos. You won’t regret it.

I want you to find someone- someone so much better than me. I hope that these things help you follow your heart to a new person, Jack. I want you to be happy.

I’ll be watching over you.

Love always,
Cassadee

My heart clenched and tears welled up in my eyes. I folded the letter back to the way it was and put it back into the envelope. I shoved it into the box and folded the flaps together. I picked up the box and took it into the front room where my television was and threw it in the corner. This was too soon to see Cassadee, definitely in my state. I sighed and sat down, turning on the television. I couldn’t look at the box. It was taunting me.

“Open it, Jack,” a familiar voice spoke quietly into my ear.

I looked around the room, confused since no one could get into my house. The familiar voice returned.

“Jack, just do it. It’s time.”

I looked, with confusion, at the box sitting next to the stand. I got up and opened the flaps again. I pulled out the DVD that read ‘Jack- One’ in Cassadee’s scrawl across the plastic cover.

I turned on the DVD player and put it in the tray, sliding it closed.