Badass Princess

“Princess! Princess! Look out! Look out!” Their voices were horrible shrieks of anguish as their legs could no longer run and their heads wouldn’t stop spinning.

“Fuck you all!” The petit looking girl with golden curls shouted in utter rage. How dare they follow her like dogs? Stupid assholes. Did they think she was blind? Of course she knows there’s a huge cliff ahead! But nooo every fucking Princess that comes around must be innocent, stupid, and clichéd. How they wished...

More cries of fear and anxiousness screamed at the Princess to stop. More boots pounded against the flat ground. More assholes ran after the Princess. The only thing the petit girl could think of was – Retards. She did not lower her speed when the huge cliff came into view, on the contrary, she ran even faster, eager to reach her destination. The wind knotted her hair and played around with her dress, the sunlight spotlighted her golden curls and the ground cheered for her. Just as she was about to reach the edge, a horrible noise crackled through the air... “NO!” She screamed knowing what was next.

A huge white stallion crossed her path and reared up, the Princess crashed into the horse pushing it towards the cliff. The horse lost it balance and started to fall, but the rider was able to jump off in time, what a lucky bastard. The man landed on his back, but he quickly stood up and flickered his cape to a side. He smiled, that perfect obnoxious smile, and laughed like a girl. “You asshole!” The Princess shrieked and punched him in the face. The mysterious man grabbed his precious face and some tears escaped his blue eyes.

“How dare you hit a Prince!” His voice was high pitched and annoying, that only made the Princess more annoyed. He shook his head and did that pathetic hero pose “Don’t worry my Princess! I am here to save you from further danger! Come now, we shall mount my stallion and head towards your majestic castle!” His voice was all manly and shit. Seriously? She would rather date a commoner than that momma’s boy.

“Yeah, I guess we could if you could call your horse from the dead.” She scoffed and rolled her eyes. This place was driving her mad, she even came to the conclusion that death was way better than living a fairy tale.

“Never fear milady!” Pink ball sang and whistled for his dead horse. Can he seriously be that stupid? The Princess was about to make another smartass remark when a white horse ran to the Prince’s side.

“How the fuck...?!” She grabbed her head in confusion and started to cry. “That’s it! I’m tired of this fairy tale bullshit! When the fuck is my father going to die, huh?! He’s 100 years old for fuck’s sake! Fairies?! They’re self-centered bitches that think of nothing more than flowers and... And.... Sparkles! And you.... You’ve come from the middles of fucking nowhere. I mean, only this castle exists, and don’t come with me with that bullshit of a ‘Far away land’. I took fucking geography, okay? You gay asshole.” She was going into a paranoid state, her eyes twitching with anguish and what came next didn’t help at all.

“Never fear milady! As I –The Prince- am here to save you!” He cheered and she snapped.

“FUCK YOU!” She screamed and ran past him, jumping off the cliff.

The Prince turned around and watched her fall. “What a bitch... I’m going back to the hooker house.” He then walked away, leaving behind his majestic stallion. Soon enough, more people crowded around the cliff, just to be horrified by the sight. There was no Princess to be found....