Say Your Prayers, You're Really Gonna Need Them.

★ ★ ★ - Indicates point of view change.

I never dream,
The matter of the fact being that I can’t or, at least shouldn’t be able to.

Technically speaking people like me aren’t even meant to be able to sleep; dreaming on the other hand is a whole other kettle of fish.

This dream or hallucination as it could have been was so real, I can still see it when I close my eyes and taste it when I moisten my lips, the flavour; languid in the back of my throat.

Her eyes as she looked up and saw me, the way they sparkled and danced.
The smell that radiated off her, absolutely astonishing to the point that it made my mouth water and the single second in-between her smiling At me and me completely pouncing on her, enveloping her up in my arms and sinking my teeth into the soft patch on her throat, her scream was the sound that woke me up.

And now staring up at the ceiling I could only ponder on what it meant and who, if anyone she was.

★★★

The smell of antiseptic was surfing its way straight up my nose, and I myself was riding the wave of nausea.
I couldn’t see anything except the white blinding lights; they felt like they were piercing straight through me.

Was I dying? Because it felt like it and all I could hear aside from the ringing was the cut up pieces of garbled and frantic shouting;

“Deteriorating...
get...transfusion
...set up now....”

-
The next thing I knew I was in a room, one that sparkled gold everywhere.

It was grand, and the people who danced around her all wore the same intricate variations of gold suits and dresses, faces and emotions concealed by masquerade masks.

I turned then to face myself in a large mirrored wall, I unlike everyone else wore only white, a long gown that reached my feet and had no mask.
I felt very on display and lonely but as I continued to stare I noticed him approach me from behind.

Adorned in a black suit with a matching black velvet mask that which covered only half of his face, he smiled at me in the reflection and bracing myself I turned to face him.
His smile never faltered, both lopsided and charming.

He took my hand and without realizing it, we were now dancing around in time to the music, that which was eerie and managed easily to wrap itself around you like a veil.
It seemed I was the only one to discern it when it stopped, as the other dancers continued pirouetting to nothing but the heavy silence, still perfectly in time with each other.

I looked around until my eyes rested back onto my beaus,
Seeing that his eyes through the mask were a beautiful shade of hazel and his hair fell round his face black and chaotic.

He grinned upon seeing how much I was evaluating him and I was just about to laugh when out of nowhere something in the air shifted and his grin grew wider with each impending second until his features became almost sinister.

I stepped back with a frown, but he just mirrored my movements, stepping further and further forward until he grabbed my arm and spun me round crushing me against the wall.

It was when I was trying to catch my breath that I saw his teeth glimmer, his true teeth in their razor sharp splendour and out of instinct I desperately tried to push my arm up to shield my face.
But it didn’t deter him; instead he sunk his teeth into my appendage, causing me to scream and thrash, trying urgently to move.

But when I did he would just bite somewhere else; both my arms and shoulders were now spewing copious amounts of blood, and I remember through the agony that my simple, yet beautiful dress was turning crimson.

I wasn’t shouting anymore, and for a moment he pulled away to follow my gaze to my dress before flicking his eyes back to my own.

“What a shame.” I said, before he buried his face in my throat.
-

I shot up, my whole body shaking with pain.
Glazed with sweat, my pale hair stuck to my face and no doubt a similar colour as my waxy complexion.

I was in a hospital room, the early morning sun beginning to spill through the blinds, Id been waking up to this room for the past two weeks or so, the walls always the same nicotine stain brown.

I felt as though I was going stir crazy and couldn’t wait to leave.
No one least of all me knew why I was here in the first place, two Sundays ago I think it was...
You’ll have to excuse me I’m rather messed up on days; I woke up in a pool of sweat, my skin was purple and I was running the highest fever possible without exploding, my mother drove me to the hospital and I was rushed in, baffling the doctors completely.

I was given blood transfusion after blood transfusion thinking it was something to do with bad blood cells, I think I’m still running a fever as I never usually have nightmares but since being here they’ve been coming thick and fast.

But today I should able to go home, fever or no fever I’m out of here.

I was still adamantly thinking about this an hour or so later when the doctor came in with my mother to examine me to see if I was fit to be discharged, he nosed around checking my eyes, blood pressure, throat and vitals.

“So how are you actually feeling then Ruse, in yourself that is?” he questioned looking rather unconcerned.

“Other than restless fine, I feel dandy.” I replied, smiling meekly.

“Well your levels are good; I see no reason why you can’t be discharged. But I do need you to come back in a month for a check-up and come straight in if you feel ill but other than that you’re free to go.”

I sighed in relief my whole body sagging back into the pillow.
My mother left with the doctor and came back a short while after with some clean clothes.

“I’m so glad you’re feeling better baby.” she said as she kissed my forehead.

“I just need to get out of here.” I laughed as I changed and about 20 minutes later after the papers were signed I was a free.

Returning home was a surreal experience, I watched TV and it wasn't long before I was sat down with my mother for dinner.

“Ruse I need have a small chat with you, when you were ill I kind of missed a big opportunity to go on a work trip, I don’t know if you remember but the artist I told you about is considering selling his work to our company, I need to be away for a while to go and see him and possibly sign the full deal amongst other work related loose ends I need to tie,” she sighed, her worn out smile glowing onto her face, she ran her hands through her wavy auburn hair, the setting sun that streamed through the window causing the copper streaks that adorned it to shine with an intensity to be desired.

“Would you be okay with me to go? I obviously won’t if you feel uncomfortable with the idea; I know you aren’t feeling your best right now and...”

I held my hand up to signal her to stop.

“Mum no offence but I’m used to it, you’ve always had to travel and I’m fine with that honestly, I'm better now and besides I’m an adult! I’m 18 and can look after myself and this house,” I shifted a little before adding,
“which is why, if you do have to go away I want to stay here on my own as opposed to aunt Meredith coming to babysit me for however long your away.” I finished with a squint, readying myself for her to tell me there wasn't a way in hell but instead she laughed.

“Well I suppose great minds think alike, I was planning to let you do this alone anyway.
Obviously aunt Meredith lives only a short while away so if there’s any problems you do need to call her but I will be checking in on the phone, I’ll still be paying the bills and I’ll give you a card to buy food and sundries...I... I just feel awful having to leave so soon after you’ve been ill.” she grimaced, “Don’t bother, I'm honestly fine; how long are you going to be away? And when do you need to leave?” I asked.

“A few months I’ve been told nothing specific,” She rolled her eyes “as usual! And now that you’re home I’ll be leaving tomorrow, I had to say to my boss that I needed to wait to see what happened with you but now you’re out of the danger zone I'm technically still on the deadline date.” she replied.
Which is when i noticed the way she looked so tired, both my mothers and my eyes were a similar shade of green, but I was worried that my mothers’ were losing their sparkle, due to fact that she ran herself ragged daily; she never paused for a breath, always trying to so hard to do everything at once.

“Well its decided then, do you need any help packing? You look like you need to take it easy at the moment.” I finished.

My mother smiled lazily, “I'm fine, thank you for the offer though darling,” I watched her gaze go down to her watch, “I best make a start really” she huffed before standing to her feet and wandering off.

I took our dishes out to the kitchen, as I washed up I looked out the window.
The sky was turning grey and dismal, living in England it was like that a lot.
Equishire was a quiet town along the coast, living close to the sea generally meant it wreaked havoc with the weather.

After putting away the dishes I shut myself out in our garden, and lit myself a cigarette.
Stooping down on the step, I closed my eyes gently, the setting sky dancing on my lids.
And that’s when I felt it, like I was being watched; at first I just tried to shake it off, smoking the rest of my cigarette quickly.

Though I must admit I did begin to panic, chucking the butt before scrambling to my feet and shutting myself inside, locking the door as I went.
Once back in the warmth of my kitchen I felt then as if a whole weight had been lifted, like I could breathe easy again.

I took a deep breath, trying to relax before opening the fridge and having a nose about.
I grabbed a bottle of rose wine that was nestled on the shelf, taking it upstairs and I stretched out on my bed, pouring myself a large glass before shoving my headphone buds into my ears.
Only did begin to relax after my third glass of wine and a bath.

I came back into my bedroom, towel wrapped firmly round my body.
changing quickly i pulled on a nightgown, and after drinking my last glass of wine I could honestly say I was pretty tipsy, and decided to lean out my window to smoke a cigarette; something I would never usually do but It somehow felt safer than going into the back garden again.

So I leaned out, sparked up and watched the smoke bellow off into the air, which by now was crisp and made a cluster of Goosebumps dance all the way up my arm; shivering I smiled to myself.

‘I'm okay’ a voice in my mind spoke, trying to convince me.

It didn’t work; the same feeling was there, like eyes boring into my skin.
It wasn't more than a second later that the feeling overwhelmed me to the point of eradication, I flicked my cigarette away and didn’t even wait to watch it fall before I pulled my window shut tight.

Breathing a sigh of relief I lied down onto my pillow and shut my eyes, they felt so heavy lidded and my sheets were too soft to say no to.