Say Your Prayers, You're Really Gonna Need Them.

★ ★ ★ - Indicates point of view change.

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When I had woke up this morning after that dream, I had been crying.

It so strange the ways your brain can summon up images that it knows will break your heart.
And even now, after a full day of college, talking about the proceedings that were going to follow this evening, I still couldn't take my mind off it.

My bath water had cooled to tepid a long while ago and I was trying to muster the energy to get out, I took a deep breath after soaping myself and stood, wrapping my body in a towel.

The first thing I noticed when I was in front of the mirror was the little white cross on my neck; usually my hair was down and therefore hidden but when pulled away from my nape it was completely noticeable and inescapable.

I had spent the last month or so doing all I could to not look at it, hoping that one day it would just dissolve way, but it never did.

I traced my finger along its length, making me instantly think back to Harlan when he had done the same thing, I shuddered, hating the way I was becoming the epitome of disarray.

But I squelched it all down, I had an evening out to enjoy and I wasn't going to let anything stop me.

Time to enter the real world and stop feeling sorry for myself.

After drying and styling my hair in lose waves I applied some makeup and padded over to my wardrobe.

I opted for a pale pink dress, before teaming it with a studded belt, some tights and some biker boots with heels.

A bit of a staple outfit, but I couldn't be bothered to overly dress up and teamed with my leather biker jacket I looked okay.

Shelby was at my door a short while later in a cab, and after checking I had everything I was going to need for the evening ahead which included overnight things just in case I stayed at one of the girls houses, we set off to Ellen’s.

I was the first at the door and was knocked for six when it wasn't Ellen, but Margo who opened the front door.

“Surprise.” She laughed, before grabbing me into a tight hug.

When we pulled away I held Margo at arm’s length before taking a good look at her, she hadn’t overly changed, still model thin, still had the cluster of freckles adorning the bridge of her nose which was an unusual but very defining on her pale coffee coloured skin and she still had the afro, which had gotten lighter over the years.

“I can’t believe it's you!” I shouted with a huge grin, which caused her to laugh.

“Still all me last time I checked.”

“Good, I wouldn’t want you changing. Anyway,” I replied grabbing Shelby’s arm, “Margo this is Shelby, Shelby this is Margo.” I said introducing them with ease, they gave each other a small wave and exchanged pleasantries whilst I squeezed past into Ellen’s living room.

There was a small cluster of my loose friends, which include Verity and Megan, I stood in the doorway before about seven sets of eyes floated my way causing me to blush and laugh.

“Hello all.” I grinned, and they all either waved or said hello back, I sat myself down on the floor next to a boy called Joshua, as there was no other spaces to really sit.

“Hey Ruse, been a while.” He smiled; his dirty blonde falling in to his eyes a little as he spoke.

“It has, too long. How’ve you been?” I smiled easily, pulling a bottle of wine out of my bag.

Joshua sighed, before leaning back onto the bottom of a sofa and fixing me with a stare, his dark brown eyes seemed to be even darker than normal, if possible, in the dim living room light.

“You know, surviving... what about you? I heard about your hospital Armageddon, you sure you’re healthy enough for tonight’s festivities, you know I don’t like the weak.” He grinned slowly, playfully.

“I’ll still be standing a long time after you aren’t.” I laughed, fiddling with the screw cap of the wine.

Joshua smiled, “we’ll see about that.”

“We shall, and check me... already about to make a start.” I guffawed, with mock shock before brandishing the bottle.

Joshua laughed again loudly, “You’re going to be legless before you even leave the house.”

I snorted flippantly, climbing to my feet with the bottle still firmly attached to my left hand.

“Since when did you become such a badass?” I asked, raising my eyebrow.

“He isn’t, he’s just out to impress.” Joe laughed, slapping Joshua on the back good-naturedly.

“Piss off Joe.” Joshua laughed.

“Okay whilst you two act like idiots, I'm going to go get myself a glass.” I replied, with a sweep of my hand before retreating to the kitchen.

The light was much brighter in the kitchen, and Ellen was stood speaking on the phone dramatically.

I didn’t speak, just held my hand up in a greeting before pulling myself out a wine glass and filling it.

As the red liquid filled the clear crystal, I couldn't help but think of the times Harlan’s lips had been tinged with a similar colour, only it was never wine.

“Hey!” Ellen shouted in my ear, snapping me back to reality. I turned with a smile and she gave me a little hug, being careful not to knock my drink.

“Hello you.” I smiled, leaning back on the counter.

“I didn’t know Shelby was coming tonight, I just saw her come in after you with Margo.”

“Yeah, you don’t mind do you? I invited her.” I replied with a nod, taking a sip of my drink and shuddering at the sharp taste.

“Mind? No not at; the more the merrier!” she grinned, before grabbing my hand and taking me back to the living room.

On the way back in she turned to me fleetingly before telling me I best hurry with my drink and that she was itching to leave.

I nodded easily before plopping down back into my original seat, with Joshua fixing me a look.

“Drunk yet?” he smiled.

“You wish.” I smiled, before downing the entire glass.

I cringed outwardly but opened my eyes again and waited for the drink to take its effect over me.

*

“I.D?” the bouncer smiled at me.

I nodded; I was a little buzzed from the wine, but I knew I was only getting started.

Digging through my purse I pulled out my card and handed it over to the bouncer, there was only Megan behind me now, I’d been stuck at the end of our queue of friends, but I knew they would be waiting for me and Megan in the foyer of the club so I didn’t despair.

The bouncer took a second looking at me then at the card for the likeness, but less than a second later he shoved the laminate back in my hand and let me pass.

Once inside I took a deep breath, I considered removing my coat but opted out of it, deciding I would hang it in the cloakrooms later.

Megan met me a few seconds later; I could already tell she was a little tipsy by the fixed lazy smile on her lips.

“Let’s do this.” She shouted, a little out of character for her, but I just laughed along as we pushed through the doors, into the abyss of bodies and sound.

The thrumming of the club was pulsing through me; I laughed and danced like I was possessed.

I was so intent on having a good time, I just let me music flow and sucked it all in greedily.

The air was thick with a drunken persona; it almost had its own personality, mixed with the music and the worshiping figures.

I made my way off the dance floor and over to the bar, I was about to order a drink when I felt an arm drape itself round my shoulders, I instantly looked up to see Joshua and breathed a sigh of relief, the last thing I need was some drunken lout thinking he was going to get anywhere with me.

“How is Ruse?” Joshua asked, his breath smelt heavy with alcohol, it looked like I was going to win this little battle he had instated.

“I’m fine, you look drunk Josh, maybe you should ease up on the drink... wouldn’t want to lose you early on now would we?” I smiled cheekily.

Joshua removed his arm from around my shoulder and leant back, he looked like he was contemplating something.

“I tell you what,” he said, swaying a little. “I’ve just been paid, so I’ll make you a little bet... I’ll buy the drinks and if you can sit down with me and match me drink for drink, I’ll give you twenty quid.” he said with a nod.

I raised my eyebrow, and made myself look as though I was chewing the idea over.

“Wow, free drinks and twenty quid? What do you get if you win... not that you’re going to.” I asked a little cockily.

“If you lose, which you will. You have to come home with me.” He smiled, and ran his hand through his hair.

I laughed sardonically, “Fuck that, there’s no way I'm agreeing to that deal.” I replied, turning my head to give the bar my full attention.

“You’re scared...? I thought you were going to win anyway?” he mocked.

I turned my head back to him, “I would... it's ju-”

“So you have nothing to worry about right?” he asked, cutting me off mid-sentence.

I didn’t reply, just looked at him.
“In that case I’ll have two pints of snakebite.” Joshua said to the barman, before giving me an evil grin.

I sighed, leaning back “You really can be an arsehole, you know that?” I asked.

“Yep, but you’re a sucker.” He said grinning, handing me my first drink.

“Let’s get the guys, they can get the drinks from now on and we can sit... it’ll be like a real match.” He said.

Looks like I'm not getting out of this one.