Say Your Prayers, You're Really Gonna Need Them.

★ ★ ★ - Indicates point of view change.

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After I got home I locked my front door and went straight to the bathroom, I decided to remove my bandage, I gritted my teeth as the pain seared and I ended up having to run my arm under warm water to soak the bandage because it had bonded to the wound.

I chucked the soiled material in the bin and inspected my messed up arm.
The cut was deep, and I wondered whether or not it would end up needing stitches.
The surrounding skin was heavily bruised and the gash was still weeping blood.
To be honest my whole body was battered and beaten, eggplant coloured patches adorning many square inches.

I clucked my tongue, thinking about how I was going to be able to explain this without seeming like I threw myself down flights of stairs and juggled knives for a living.

I stepped into the shower, the heat making me feel woozy.
I held my breath before putting my arm under the water, and within seconds wondered if it was worth the agony.

Howling out, and retracting my arm quickly, my whole body by now was shaking; and tears started welling up in my eyes.

I plunked down on the shower floor, cradling my arm as the water cascaded over me.
I spent about an hour carefully scrubbing my body and washing every part of my skin.

By the time I got out my skin was red from the waters heat.
I pulled a towel round my body and pulled my hair up in another on top of my head, then something in the mirror caught my eye.

The cross, on my neck was now visible, situated near the end of my jaw.
It was white and the skin raised; which couldn’t be right, it was too fresh meaning it should have been red and scabbed, or possibly still weepy.

But it looked like i'd had it for years, the realization made my mind whirl and spin.
Bending over, I spent a second trying to put my head between my knees to eliminate the light headedness that was seemingly invading me, but it was no use.

I pulled the toilet seat up before throwing up violently.
The bile burnt my throat, and being has I hadn’t eaten since the yesterday afternoon that was pretty much all it was.

After I finished I slumped back on the floor back against the cool bath, wiping my mouth on a piece of tissue.

I couldn’t handle this, the past few weeks I was fast becoming a mess.
I stood and brushed my teeth heatedly, thinking about what I was going to do.
In the solitude of my room, I blow dried my hair and sorted myself out; pulled on some leggings and a warm t-shirt.

I looked back through my bag, and pulled out my phone. I had four missed calls and three messages, two from Ellen and one from Verity, both asking where I was.
I sent a message back to Verity and decided to ring Ellen.
She answered on the third ring;

“Where the fuck did you go?!” she shouted, sounding concerned and somewhat pissed off.

“Don’t start yelling at me, I’m seriously not up for.” I snapped.

“Well where were you? I just turned round and you’d gone. I didn’t know if you were okay or what.”

I felt a pang of guilt, it was unnecessary but still.

“I looked round for you for about ages, asking everyone if they’d seen you. But you and Verity had might as well of travelled to another planet because you were nowhere in sight, I think Ellen Owens the better question is, where were you?” I replied.

“I was upstairs, come on Ruse you should know me better; especially after Joe had the consideration to turn up.”

I had to smile; Joe and Ellen were the worst, yet the best couple I’d ever seen.
Get them good, you would feel sick of the sight of something so perfect and feel that maybe there was hope for you with a beau.
Get them bad and you would wish never to be in love at all.

“Ah, so it wasn’t my fault at all really was it?” I said with a slight edge to my voice.

“I am sorry but honestly I thought you would have waited for me.”

“In the throng of vomit and frenzy? I’ll pass thank you” I said sourly

“So where did you go? I rang your house, but nothing.”

I sighed heavily, I did not want to go into the details, which in them self were unbelievable.
So I spared her everything, as much as I didn’t want to lie; I ended up saying I went home and must of been so drunk that I didn’t hear the phone.

We decided Ellen would come round later on and after hanging up I went into the kitchen and aimlessly looked through the fridge ending up making myself a ready meal.
As bland as it was I hadn’t realized quite how hungry I really was, the food filling my tender stomach.

I switched on the television as I ate, staring at it thoughtfully.
And after about an hour the doorbell rung and there was Ellen, her umbrella up.

“Let me in then, the weather is awful!” she said pushing her way past towards my kitchen.

“I hadn’t even noticed it had started raining.” I murmured after her,

“Yeah it’s chucking it down, glad I grabbed this thing.” she replied, gesturing towards the dripping umbrella before placing it in my empty sink so as not to get the water everywhere.
We went through to the living room and she pulled out a DVD.

“Thought a nice horror would do us good.” she laughed.

I smiled weakly, horrors were all I really liked but In all honesty I thought I’d had my fill of it last night.
But I said nothing as she set it up and plonked herself down next to me on the sofa and we watched quietly.

By the time it finished it was late, and I told Ellen she might as well stay over for the evening, honestly I was glad for her company.

We watched a little bit more TV and she chatted about what had happened with Joe the night before.

I nodded and made remarks when I thought I should, not taking all of it in but enough to keep her happy.

We ended up going to bed at around half twelve, and Ellen fell asleep quickly; meaning I had to lay awake listening to her breathing as I tried to get sleep to come for me as well.