I Can Do Shameless Too, And This One Goes Out To You

My hands would not stop shaking.

I knew I shouldn’t have been doing this; that much was obvious. I wasn’t even sure that I wanted to do this but it was too late now; I had already come too far.

I had been spiralling downwards for months, just heading for rock bottom; a place I think I had finally reached.

Five months ago I had everything I could have possibly wanted; a good family, a good set of grades and a more than adequate boyfriend. Five months ago I was perfectly happy but in five minutes my seemingly perfect world came crashing down around me.

I had had a plan. A plan that I conceived only moments after my downfall and granted it was a stupid idea but even my plan didn’t go as far as this.

I was overstepping the mark by a long way according to my heart; it seemed to know that I would regret it in the morning. My head on the other hand merely rationalised that this was me getting even; something I had the divine right to do.

My mind was screaming at me that revenge was the only thing that would make me feel better; I honestly wasn’t sure that was correct though.

I mean was it really okay to seek revenge?

My fingers trembled as I hovered over the send button before I caved into my conscience and hit the small black key.

I can do shameless too.