Fallen Identity

I dashed out of the hotel room and then straight out of the hotel itself. I totally forgot about the stuff I still had in my room that we hadn't gotten back yet.

I ran down through the back alleyways avoiding sight. The only thought running through my mind was, I just killed a person. I didn't even know what came over me. All this hate just spilled out and I killed him. I remember the horrible feeling of actually liking to see his life fade away. I'm a sick person. I'm going to have to lock myself away from the rest of the world.

I started to head back to the safehaven to retrieve some of my stuff. Get in, get your stuff, get out, I repeated in my mind. It sort of became my temporary motto.

I then realized I didn't know the passcode to the door. "Shit," I hissed under my breath.

I saw one of those telephone things where you call and someone picks up and can open the door from the inside by pushing a button on their phone. I hesitantly picked it up and pushed the call button. It rang for about 2 seconds till Michael answered.

"Michael! Hey, it's me. Carter," I said, "I need you to open the door."

"Ok Carter," he replied and sure enough, I heard the click as the door unlocked. I thanked him and hung up. I ran inside and nearly ran over Michael who was waiting for me on just the other side.

"Michael! Where is everyone?" I asked.

"Out looking for you of course," he replied and gave me a small smile. I returned it and then headed for my room. I remembered that I had no idea where my room was and asked Michael to escort me. I ran into my room and stuffed my backpack with all my stuff then ran out.

"Carter?" Michael's soft voice asked me from the main room as I was reaching for the door handle. I froze and waited for him to continue. "Are you leaving?"

"Yes," I replied truthfully. I didn't want to lie anymore. "Remember our pinkie promise?"

"Yes," he answered.

"Ok, just make sure you never break it okay?" I asked and then walked over to him and gave him a hug and then a little ruffle of his hair.

"Ok Carter. I'll miss you," he said.

"I'll miss you too," I said and then ran out of the safehaven. I didn't stop running until I couldn't take it anymore and had to slow down. I was still in the city but was getting closer to leaving this place for good.

I sat down on a nearby bench so I could catch my breath. I felt myself dozing off into dreamland.

_____

Seven months. That's over half a yearand how long I have been on my own. I can feel it inside me. The battle between my demon side and angel side. I think that's what happened when I killed Mr. Berings. My demons side was taking over.

I've been traveling across Europe, doing odd jobs to get enough money for food and transportation. Staying in one place for too long allowed me to get attached and I want no strings tieing me down.

I'm thinking about traveling over to Asia or back to the US. I'm now back in Paris because one of my jobs now is to deliver this package. I'm known as Night Traveler to those in the underground business. I travel like a cat at night; quickly and stealthily. People pay me in advance to deliver their 'goods' right on time. I do get curious but keeping my curiosity in check is one way to keep my mind off of other things. Things I so desperately want to forget about.

I looked at the sheet of paper that held directions for where this envelope was supposed to be delivered to. Under the sign that is black and red, where awhite rose grows. What the hell is that supposed to mean?!

How am I supposed to find a white rose under a black and red sign in this humongous city? I shouldn't be that surprised. I was always given weird coded messages so if I was ever caught, no one would be able to depict where I was going and who I was delivering to.

I noticed changes in me. I was faster and more agile. I was stronger too. I've learned a couple fighting techniques so I can hold my own in a battle if necessary. My sensed were more acute as well. I could see perfectly in the night and everything felt more real.

I was walking down an alleyway, trying to appear as normal as possible. I had that odd sensation that I was being followed. I knew that it wasn't paranoia. I barely felt afraid anymore.

I kept my head straight, so that my follower wouldn't know that I could sense him. I headed down to a more crowded street where people were walking and talking aimlessly, not ever knowing the real danger that lies in the world. In my time here, I learned a lot of languages and could pick up on conversations of French speakers and even some German and Italian. That was another change in me. I had a vast memory and could store information easily which came in handy from time to time.

I could still feel the prescence of my follower and decided to find out who this stalker was. I went back down another alleyway and then stopped right at the end. I didn't turn around. I assumed my follower would just talk to me first. My assumption was correct.

"Carter?" I knew that voice.I turned around now and looked into the eyes of Zach. Seeing his face brought back all of the memories that were safely locked away.

"It is you," he breathed out. I nodded, leaving my face emotionless. That was another skill I learned; to mask my emotions.

We stood apart for what seemed like forever. Zach always knew the right thing to do and made no advances toward me.

"Your hair's long," he said. I couldn't help but look down at my blonde locks of hair. The black and blue dye and finally faded away and my hair grew out.

I was also wearing girl clothes again. Iusually wore simple tank tops, jeans, and converse. They made me seem like a normal, teenage girl and I could run in them.

"So it is," I replied.

"Carter, what happened?" he finally asked. I knew this question was going to come, I just wasn't prepared for it.

"I-I can't deal with this right now Zach. I have stuff to do a-", I stuttered until he cut me off with his arms wrapping around my body.

"It was him, wasn't it?" he asked, though there was no need for an answer. I just nodded my head against his chest.

"Did he hurt you?" he asked after a moment. Again, I only nodded my head.

"So you just decided to run again?"

"I had to. I-I killed him. I'm a monster. No better then the demons." I felt tears start to trail down my face. Zach stiffened and pulled away from me so he could look at my face.

"So it was you," was all he said. "I saw on the news that he was killed. I thought it was a dem-"
He stopped himself, probably thinking of what his words would mean to me.

"A demon," I finished for him. "I know. I still can't believe I did that."

"I didn't tell anyone your secret," he said and then added, "In case you were wondering."

"Thank you," I replied and gave him a small smile.

"You've changed a lot," he mentioned.

"I know."

"Are you going to come back?"

I didn't want to answer because partly, I wasn't sure if I was or not.

Since I still wasn't answering,
headded,"Everyone misses you. Especially Michael, Cameal, and Israfel."

Hearing their names struck something in me. The memory of Michael's sweet smile, Cameal's humor, and Izzy's singing was enough to make me want to come back.

"You know what? I'm done with running and lieing. I'll come back after I deliver this envelope. No more secrets," I said and looked up at Zach. I guess he wasn't expecting that answer because he gave me a big smile. It was one of the most dazzling smiles I've ever seen.

"You're serious," he stated and I nodded to reassure him.

"On one condition though," I said and he waited for me to continue, "If I ever go bad,you have to promise to stop me."

"I promise."

"Good. I'll come back as soon as possible," I said and started to run off. Zach caught my arm and said, "I'll come with you."

"Ok. Then maybe you can help figure out where this needs to go," I said. I pulled out the sheet of paper and handed it over to him. He read it over and then I saw him read it again and then read it for a third time.

"Confusing isn't it?" I muttered.

"Definitely," he agreed. "I guess we just walk around until we find a white rose under a black and red sign."

We started strolling down the streets looking at every sign that we could see. We were heading down a more deserted street when I finally saw a black and red sign with the words 'Diseuse de bonne aventure' engraved in it, which meant Fortuneteller. Sure enough, there was a small withering white rose under the sign. I placed the small envelope under the sign, next to the white rose. I turned around and gave Zach a thumbs up sign that he laughed at. At least I still have a sense of humor.