Secret Valentine

“Shush,” she said, putting her fingertips to his lips. “You have to be quiet or else we’re going to get caught,” she whispered, letting a giggle escape her lips.

He smiled and leaned down, letting his lips glide over her neck. She arched her back against the wall and leaned her head back as far as she could to allow him better access. “It’s hard to be quiet,” he mumbled, letting his breath hit her skin, “when there’s a beautiful girl in front of you who’s letting you make-out with her.”

She blushed, trying to free her hands from his body. They were too entangled in the small space. She let out a nervous giggle and, when they were finally free, crossed her arms in front of her chest. “We shouldn’t be doing this.”

He shrugged. “Maybe we shouldn’t, but we are. And you can’t tell me you haven’t wanted this for just as long as I have,” the brunette said.

She shrugged, flipping her dark brown hair over her shoulder. “I mean, you’re okay,” she told him, trying to act like she didn’t want to jump his bones right then and there.

He laughed, nuzzling her neck again. “Liar, liar, pants on fire.”

She giggled and pulled his face up to hers, kissing him fully on the lips. The kiss was stopped short though, when someone started calling his name. “Jack? Jack, where you at man?”

She pushed him away slightly and backed up. Before she left him, she grabbed his hand and squeezed. “After the show?”

He nodded excitedly, and then before he knew what hit him she was gone.

Jack Barakat shook his head in amazement at Taylor Hyde. She had been his dream girl for over a year now. She was gorgeous, she was calm, cool, and collected, and most importantly of all, for once in his life Jack Barakat was being favorited over his best friend. That was something that didn’t happen very often. Jack Barakat was used to living in his best friend’s shadow, but this wasn’t one of those times.

For once in his life, Jack Barakat felt better than Alex Gaskarth, and he was going to do anything to keep this feeling alive. Even if it meant sneaking around.

***

“Cleveland, I’d like to have sex with every single one of you tonight,” Alex Gaskarth said to the audience standing in front of him. He paused to let the shrieks and yelling die down and then continued. “Unfortunately, I can’t. You’re all underage.”

Jack smirked. “We’ve already been down that road before, so instead, send us your moms.”

Alex laughed while the cheers continued. “Alright, this is our last song kids. Let’s dance.”

Before the familiar sounds of Dear Maria started up, Jack looked to his right only to find Taylor standing there smiling at him. It wasn’t until Jack noticed the direction of her gaze. She wasn’t his, plain and simple. He sighed and started the song.

When they finished, the guys all went off stage, after throwing their remaining guitar picks and Rian’s drumsticks out into the crowd. Jack grabbed a towel and wiped his face off, then went to throw it in the distance. He paused and smiled and then ran out on stage again. He smirked and grabbed a microphone real quick. “Here’s my sweat drenched towel! I better see this shit on Ebay tomorrow kids!” he chucked the towel out into the crowd before going backstage again.

The first person he saw was Taylor, of course. She was walking towards the dressing rooms for the bands when Jack called out to her. “Tay!” he yelled, stopping her in her tracks.
She turned around and smiled. “Hey you,” she said, letting him catch up before continuing her walk. “I was just headed outside.”

Jack cocked his head to the side. “Why? It’s freezing out there.”

She frowned, her pretty pink lips turning down. “Alex and I had a fight.”

Jack nodded, trying to contain his excitement. When Taylor looked at him again, she laughed and swatted at his stomach. “It’s okay, you can be happy.”

The guitarist let the smile he had been holding in grace his lips. “When are we going to meet up?”

The dark haired girl shrugged. She tugged at her sweatshirt as they neared the exit doors. She pushed them open and grabbed Jack’s hand as she went outside. She tugged him around a corner where there was no one in sight and pulled him close. “Right now?” she smiled, getting on her tip toes to kiss him.

Their lips connected and it was like a switch turned on. Passion poured out of every surface, causing a cloud to form around them. It was as if no one could stop them. Taylor pulled back, leaving Jack to lean in for more. She stopped him though, putting her palm to his chest. “Not right now,” she said, her voice barely above a whisper. “Someone could find us.”

Jack nodded, knowing she was right. “You’re right, but you’re also a giant tease.” She giggled, a blush creeping up her cheeks. Jack smiled at her. She had never looked more gorgeous than she did right then, her skin tinted pink both from the cold and her tendency to get embarrassed easily.

Taylor, hearing voices, pulled back. Her heart rate sped up and she looked at Jack, her eyes wide. “Why are we doing this?”

Jack panicked. He didn’t want her feeling guilty. He didn’t want her to regret being with him. Most importantly, he didn’t want to lose her. He also didn’t want to hurt his best friend. He didn’t know how to have everything at the same time; he didn’t think it was possible, not in this situation. He pulled her close quickly and kissed her on the lips. “Because I really like you, I just ended up being a little too late.”

Taylor sighed. “We were both too late, but I guess that’s how it goes.”

Before Jack could protest, Taylor turned to leave. He stopped her and said, “When?” He knew she would know exactly what he was asking. She had promised.

Sighing, she shook her head. She felt guilty, but she didn’t think she could follow through with her promise to the lanky guitarist. “Jack, I don’t think I can do that to Alex.”

Jack sighed, but nodded. “Go back to your guy, Tay. I’ll see you later.”

Taylor nodded and then left Jack alone. He had gone from feeling like he was in first place with Taylor to feeling second best to Alex Gaskarth; somehow, this was how it always ended. He shouldn’t have been so stupid to think it would have ended any differently.

***

Taylor walked around, maneuvering her body through the hundreds of bodies of preteen girls all crowding around; most of them were looking for her boyfriend. She sighed as she pushed a particularly eager girl out of the way. “Excuse you!” the girl yelled, glaring at her.
Taylor rolled her eyes and continued walking. Sure enough, she found him, signing stuff and taking pictures, all the while acting like he loved every second of it. “Alex!” she said when she got close enough.

He looked up and smiled at her. “Hey, want to meet me on the bus after all this signing and crap is done? I should be done in an hour or so.”

Taylor nodded and quickly left the crazy scene. She made her way onto the bus and walked back to her and Alex’s bunk. She frowned as she held the dinky sheet that the couple slept under most nights between her thumb and forefinger. The brunette shook her head. She was with Alex currently because if she broke up with him, she’d immediately want Jack, and that would be bad. She could ruin a friendship.

As she was contemplating her potential options, she heard the door to the bus open. She turned her head, curious who it could be, and saw a familiar boy headed her way. When he finally looked up, he smiled at her. “Hey you,” she said to him, walking over so that there was practically no space between them.

He smirked. “Fancy seeing you here.”

She shrugged. “Sorry about earlier. I just…” she trailed off, trying to find the right words.

“Panicked?” Jack finished for her.

She smiled a weak smile and nodded. “Yeah, I guess.”

It didn’t take long for all polite small talk to get tossed aside. The two stood their semi-awkwardly, the sexual tension building with each passing second. Jack groaned, frustrated. “If I don’t kiss you right now, something bad will happen.”

Before Taylor could comment and tell him he sounded like a fortune cookie, Jack’s lips collided with hers. Her hands flew up to his hair, pulling him closer. His lips went from hers to her neck, down to her collarbone, and then back up again. Things became frantic. As his lips were traveling back down to her neck, she whispered, “How long do we have?”

“Half hour, at least.”

Taylor nodded and those were the last words spoken. They quickly traveled over to Jack’s bunk. Taylor climbed up first and then Jack followed. Their lips never left each other. Jack tugged at her shirt, but due to the cramped space they didn’t have much to work with. When he tried to lift himself up enough so that she could shed her clothing, he smacked his head off of the bunk. “What the fuck,” he mumbled, stopping to rub the back of his bruised head.
Taylor giggled, but when Jack glared at her, she tried to stifle her laughter. “I’m sorry, but that was our sign that we need to stop doing what we’re doing.”

“I can’t,” Jack whined.

Taylor rolled her eyes. “Stop being a horny twenty year old Jack. We need to grow up.” She rolled over and tried to climb out of the bunk, but Jack stopped her.

“You didn’t let me finish, Tay. I can’t stop this, whatever this is,” he said, gesturing between them, “Because I think I’m falling in love with you.”

Taylor stopped. Everything stopped, her breathing, her heart, time surrounding them. In that instant, nothing else existed but Jack and Taylor, Taylor and Jack. “You what?”

“I think I’m falling in love with you. I’m not doing any of this because I’m horny. If that were it, I’d go to someone else. You’re too much of a fucking cockblock for that to be it. I want to be with you. I want to be the one who wakes up with you so I can take care of you. I want to be there for you. I want to be the one you go to when you need to be comforted. Not Alex. It’s always fucking Alex and it’s like he could care less. It’s like he has no idea what a beautiful girl you are and how special you are.” As Jack looked Taylor in the eyes, he noticed the tears that were threatening to spill over. He brought his hand up and rested it under her chin, stroking her cheek with his thumb. “He doesn’t have any idea how lucky he is. I’d never take you for granted like he does.”

By now, the tears had fallen down her cheeks. Jack leaned in and kissed each one away. “I love you Taylor, but I can’t be your secret love. If that’s the only way I can have you, I guess we really are going to have to end this.”

Taylor sighed, wiping the remaining tears away. She had to confront the problem head on and maybe end it once and for all. “Jack, that was all really sweet, and maybe it was all true. But you and I both know we can’t do that. I can’t leave Alex and move on to you, even if I really, really wanted to. And at this moment in time, I do. I just can’t, Jack. I can’t hurt Alex like that.”

Jack nodded. “So that’s it? Are we done sneaking around?”

Taylor nodded. She waited a few minutes, wondering if Jack had anymore to say, before she crawled out of his bunk. She readjusted her shirt and smoothed back her hair before turning around to face Jack again. “I’m sorry Jack. I don’t want to string you along anymore, because I’m not going to leave Alex.”

Jack stayed silent.

Taylor nodded, knowing by Jack’s silence that she had hurt him. She turned and walked away, determined to get off of the bus. She stopped at the door when she heard Jack call her name.

“Taylor?” he said, peaking out of his bunk.

“Yeah?”

“You’re always going to be my secret valentine, until the day you realize that you need to leave Alex because you know he isn’t right for you and he never will be.”

Taylor shook her head. “Don’t make this harder, Jack. It’s hard enough.”

He shrugged. “I’m not going to go away, Taylor.”

She nodded, sadness overcoming her. “I know you won’t Jack. That’s what makes this all hurt so much. And I’m sorry for that.” She sighed, looking up at him once more. “This isn’t going to ever get any easier, is it?”

Jack shook his head and then before he knew it, Taylor was gone. Sighing, he lay down in his bunk, staring at the ceiling. This wasn’t over. They were just wasting time until they could have what they really wanted; each other.

Until then, Taylor was going to stay Jack’s secret valentine.