The Cold Painful Truth

Being loved and pretending to be loved are two different things. Yes, they are both wonderful and both hurt. The difference is the amount of pain. It’s after that one unforgettable moment, when time stops to let you think, that the pain comes. Realizing it was all a lie, a joke, a dream. The game is tied, you can win this! You throw the pitch and the other team gets a homerun, you just lost the championship! You’re sanding there not sure what happened, you’re stuck in the past 10 seconds. In your world time stopped. Then reality hits you like being socked in the gut with a dodge ball. Reality takes you to that one place you go when you’re depressed. But, you don’t cry, no, you’re too strong for that. Something is wrong. You know it too, your brain says “no, distract yourself, forget about it”, but your heart says yes. Like when your brain knows you shouldn’t fall in love with someone, but your heat does anyway. When you pretend to be loved, your brain comes up with some convoluted “perfect person” for you, making things worse later. He is great, he’s hot, intelligent, funny, charming, caring, understanding, and thinks you’re pretty (though you may think different). He’d respect your friends, and allow you to have guy friends. He’d know you wouldn’t cheat and that guys and girls can be just friends. He would get you; he’s all you ever wanted. Right now you’re drivin’ down happiness highway! Today is sunny, but reality changed the forecast “spur of the moment”, time for a thunder storm! Oh goody! Now you’re soaking wet, your hair is frizzed as Hell, and as for the plush seats of your convertable; call the repair shop! A lopsided hammer just smashed a perfect piece of candy, fit for someone with OCD. Pretending is______ (insert another world for wonderful, I hear thesaurus.com works well) but can be Hell later. I don’t recommend it.