I Won't See You Tonight
Chapter 1
I felt crazy, to anyone passing by it probably seemed that way. All of the contents of my bag were poured all over the grass next to the sidewalk. I bought eye drops yesterday and I managed to lose them already. He would know I was smoking again if I came in smelling like weed and with bloodshot eyes but usually I blamed my mom for the smell. Dad knew she was a junkie, hence the reason she didn’t live with us anymore. She was now in the care of one of her pimp/boyfriends and the only job my dad would trust her with is picking me up from school since he was working and his girlfriend refused to be my “chauffeur”, claiming she was too busy to be taking off from work just to pick me up.
The eye drops had mysteriously disappered, there was no trace of them. I picked up the mirror instead; you would have to be mentally challenged to not know that I was high. I looked around for anyone I knew that might have eye drops handy but no one was around. I was getting more paranoid by the second, I paced back and forth trying to come up with an explanation. The only logical excuse I could think of was that I was crying, but then Tara would drill me on it once she got home. Tara wasn’t exactly mean to me but she wasn’t nice either. I knew she thought I was ruining her perfect new family, I mean who wants to take care of their husband’s kid from his last marriage?
I thought about just taking off until I could pass for normal, sure I would get a few bumps and bruises but that was nothing compared to what would happen if they found out I was smoking. I could hear the rattling of my mom’s old car and the screech of her brakes as she halted to a stop right in front of me. It was extremely embarrassing to even be seen with her, since it was common knowledge that she was a hooker. If it wasn’t for her skimpy outfits or her fake gi-normous boobs, I could handle being around her but it was always the way she talked about things. Her views were that you could get anything you wanted by showing a little leg.
“Hey Baby,” She slurred, she was clearly on her was to getting hammered but she was a veteran at this. It would take way more to get her wasted that she couldn’t drive. “Get me a cold one from the cooler back there.” When I turned to grab it I was jerked back into my seat. “Not you baby, him.” I didn’t even notice anyone sitting back there, but then again I never really wanted to know any of the guys who hung around my mom.
“Here,” He mumbled as he tossed the can into her lap. She hit the breaks and we all flew forward, I managed to catch myself before I hit the dash but my mom wasn’t so lucky. Her head bounced off the steering wheel and she just sat there, with her head on the wheel. I nudged her arm, nothing. I sighed loudly, this wasn’t the first time this had happened, I had a plan. “Shit! Is she knocked out?”
“Uh, Yeah.” I turned back to look at him, he looked around my age, and very tall by the way he was scrunched into the backseat. I knew there were better things to question about him other than his looks but I felt like I had seen him before somewhere. Everything about him just seemed so familiar. “but I think she’s okay. It’s happened before.”
“So should we leave here here or what?” We were both out of the car now, standing on opposite sides looking at each other. He was tall and gorgeous. I looked back to my mom passed out at the wheel, usually I would just move her to the back and drive home but she was with him and I didn’t think he would want to go home with me. “Nevermind, let’s park her over there in that lot. Then we can go our separate ways.” Before I could say a word he already had her in the backseat and started the car again. I got back in, he pulled into the parking lot and rolled the windows down a little. I just watched as he made sure to leave the keys in her pocket and locked the doors. Now I would have to walk home, it wasn’t that far but I would be late. I decided this was the perfect time to light up, I need to clam down and prepare myself for the beating I would receive later.
“You smoke?” He questioned as motioned for me to pass it, I nodded as I let the smoke fill my lungs. I just stood there for awhile, wondering who this guy was. “I thought you said you would kill yourself before you ever took a drag.”
“I know but that was before I was messed up, I need a stress relea-,” It just clicked in my head about what he had said, how would he know what I used to say. I tried to remember every person I had said that too but I couldn’t remember him. “How do you know that?”
“I dunno, I just know, you seem like one of those hypocritical smokers.“ We both looked at each other and burst into laughter, I knew I had heard that before but I still couldn’t place it. My mind seemed so fuzzy, I was running through all the major memories in my head but I still had nothing. “That’s your brain on drugs, you’ll laugh at anything.”
“So,” I put out the joint from the ground and stuck it back into my jacket pocket.
“Come on, let’s go for a walk.” He said, motioning me to follow him. We were walking in the opposite direction of where I lived but I didn’t care. He started to hum, this all felt vaguely familiar like it was déjà vu. “Are you still trying to think of where you’ve seen me before? Jimmy doesn’t ring a bell.”
“Uh-huh,” I mumbled, it was like it was all my brain could manage, it was busy working overtime trying to figure out who he was. “What are we doing here?
I looked around and we were in an abandoned playground. People used to come here with their kids but they stopped after it got messed up by some random kids. I wonder if this was a coincidence that he brought me here or he knew that this is where I spent the majority of my time after my punishments when my dad wanted me out of the house. “I like it here, there’s no one around and you can just unwind.”
I sat down on one of the swings, at my usual spot. This was the best spot to just unwind, it was quiet, peaceful, and no one came here because they were scared of it. Jimmy went behind me and started to gently push me. I let my mind wander as I closed my eyes, we didn’t say anything. He just kept pushing me, al little higher and higher every time. I couldn’t help but think of when my mom and dad were normal and nice, when they used to be real parents. Then everything went to hell, mom started drinking and eventually turned junkie-hooker and dad turned into a total control freak.
_______
Jimmy had stopped pushing me and was now sitting on the swing next to me, I stood up and looked at him it was like I was in a movie. Everything was coming together, this was the climax. You know the part in the movie when you reach that emotional moment. When the two main characters finally realize everything they’ve been trying to reach is right there. The memories started to flood back all at the same time. We were best friends, we were conjoined at the hip, we had been completely and totally in sync at age 12. I could tell he knew that it had finally clicked in my head because he stood up too, he had thins knowing kind of look as he pulled me in fro a hug.
“God! I missed you!” He said into my hair, we stood there holding onto each other for what seemed like forever. It was like we were making up for all those years we were apart. I couldn’t help but think this was too good to be true, this didn’t happen to normal people. I wasn’t some movie star acting this all out. I’m just some random kid, with a crappy life, not a Cinderella story waiting to happen. “I can’t believe it took you that long to remember me. I never stopped thinking about you.”
“Yeah, me too.” I felt his hand go under my chin to make me look up at him. He kissed my forehead softly, I felt like such a jerk. How could I not remember Jimmy Sullivan. I tried to get the pessimistic thoughts out of my head but it all came back, this isn’t the way things are supposed to happen. It’s not real, this doesn’t happen to people like me.
“It’s okay, I would try to forget me too.” He laughed, it was the thing I like about him the most. He was always so laid-back and care-free. He was exactly the same person he was back then, just a little older. “So do you have something to do, or do I have you all to myself?”
“Shit,” I mumbled, I grabbed my bag as fast as I could and started out to the main road. I would be dead for not showing up for a couple hours. My mind was spinning with what my dad would do, by now he was home and Tara would egg him on til he was ready to kill. Now I was back to the shitty life I was used to.
“Violet! What the hell?” Jimmy asked, out-of-breath as he ran to catch up to me. Confused was probably the best word I would use to describe the way Jimmy was looking at me. I didn’t even have the breath to tell him where I was going, I just kept pushing myself to run faster and hope that Tara wasn’t home yet. I was a couple blocks away and I noticed Jimmy was still stuggling to keep up with me. As I turned to look at him he took the chance and grabbed my wrist, forcing me to stop with him. “What the fuck are you doing? Did I fuckin’ do something wrong?”
“Jimmy I really have to get home right now! My dad…” I mumbled as I tried to pull away from him and towards my house, I was so close and it would suck if I missed it by just a few minutes because of this. “I need to go home now! I promise I’ll come to see you later.”
Jimmy’s POV
She looked like scared shitless as she pulled away from me. I wanted to know so bad what was bothering her so much and why she was that scared of her dad. I let my grip loosed and she immedialtey turned so she could start running again. Fuck! I was about to turn so I could go back home when I felt her grab my shoulder.
“I’ll meet you at the park in half an hour, if not come by my house. It’s the big green one on the corner.” I could feel her pulling my head down to her level, I gladly leaned in and closed the space in between us. It just felt right, I wanted this to last forever, to never have to leave her side. “Why? I mean can’t you just stay here now and then go home later.” I whined as I pulled her closer into me. I could see the blush coming on her cheeks then suddenly it vanished as the fear appeared on her face again.
“I’ll see you later, promise.” I watched as she turned to run again towards her house. I could see the green house on the corner from here and I stood waiting to see her get home safely. I felt like the smile plastered on my face was etched in. No matter what I thought about, all could do was smile because my thoughts would always go back to that kiss. I walked back towards the park, I wouldn’t be back in time if I went home first. I took my time this time, remembering every single step of the way. This day had turned out perfect, not exactly the way I had planned but everything had somehow come together.
Normal POV
Thank God! Tara’s car wasn’t here yet, I grabbed my keys out of my bag and unlocked the door. Everything was exactly the way it had been this morning, I didn’t stop to get a drink or anything. I wanted it to seem as if I was here all along. Once I reached the top of the stairs, my door was already open and the lock lying on the ground. I picked it up and examined it, someone had taken it off forcefully, I took a quick glance around my room and it was completely trashed.
I quickly pulled out a piece of paper, I knew they had probably just left for a couple minutes, probably searching the neighborhood looking for me. They had found my stash, the weed was all over my floor and a handful was lying right in the center of my dresser. I quickly wrote a note to Jimmy, explaining that I couldn’t come out. I knew for a fact that it was likely I would be too sore and broken to even go downstairs for the next couple days let alone outside. I planned on dropping it out my window and maybe he would find it if he came around.
I thought about going back to the park to see Jimmy then leave. I thought of everything I wouldn’t have to deal with if I left this fucking house. No more being scared shitless for being five minutes late, no more having to deal with this fucking house. I grabbed a bag and started to shove whatever I could in it, clothes, shoes, makeup, and my stash of emergency cash. I kept looking over my shoulder to check if they were home yet. I looked over and the note was on the windowsill, just lying there waiting to be read.
Hey Jimmy…Hope you found this. Don’t knock on the door! Don’t even look around the house! Just leave Now! I’ll come find you when I can, just be at the park every now and then or leave a note there. I cant see you right now, its nothing serious just some family problems but all I wanted to tell you was,
“There you fuckin’ are! Do you know how long we’ve been driving around this fucking neighborhood trying to find you ass!” He grabbed me by my shoulder and threw me against the wall, I tried as hard as I keep from crying but the pain in my shoulder was unbearable. It felt like there was a million needles stabbing my shoulder. “And what do you have to say about all this weed in your room! I know you can’t blame this shit on your bitch mom!” My hair was being torn out at the roots, all the while Tara was just standing at the door watching. He grabbed me by the arm again and threw me like a rag doll towards the window, I nearly fell out when the glass broke slicing up the side of my body. The note flew out of my hands covered in blood, as I tried to catch myself against the window frame.
Jimmy’s POV
I checked the time on my ipod again, she should’ve been here an hour ago. I got up from the sidewalk where I was sitting and started to run towards her house, I wanted to see her so bad right now, to hold her in my arms and never have to let go. I go to the corner where she lived and there was a big crowd of people already surrounding the house. I could see an ambulance and police cars all around her house. Everything was going through my mind all at once, what the fuck happened? It felt as if my fucking feet were glued to the ground. I looked down and there was a bloody piece of paper there. My stomach turned as I bent over to pick it up, I quickly read over the note, when I noticed the news truck broadcasting right next me.
“Here we are at Skyline and Thomas, where a teenage girl was recently found dead, we are told that she was beaten to death by her father an-” I turned and the contents of my stomach was emptied onto the road. My mind couldn’t process, those words, they weren’t true, they couldn’t be. Leana’s note was echoing in my mind,
I Won’t See You Tonight…
The eye drops had mysteriously disappered, there was no trace of them. I picked up the mirror instead; you would have to be mentally challenged to not know that I was high. I looked around for anyone I knew that might have eye drops handy but no one was around. I was getting more paranoid by the second, I paced back and forth trying to come up with an explanation. The only logical excuse I could think of was that I was crying, but then Tara would drill me on it once she got home. Tara wasn’t exactly mean to me but she wasn’t nice either. I knew she thought I was ruining her perfect new family, I mean who wants to take care of their husband’s kid from his last marriage?
I thought about just taking off until I could pass for normal, sure I would get a few bumps and bruises but that was nothing compared to what would happen if they found out I was smoking. I could hear the rattling of my mom’s old car and the screech of her brakes as she halted to a stop right in front of me. It was extremely embarrassing to even be seen with her, since it was common knowledge that she was a hooker. If it wasn’t for her skimpy outfits or her fake gi-normous boobs, I could handle being around her but it was always the way she talked about things. Her views were that you could get anything you wanted by showing a little leg.
“Hey Baby,” She slurred, she was clearly on her was to getting hammered but she was a veteran at this. It would take way more to get her wasted that she couldn’t drive. “Get me a cold one from the cooler back there.” When I turned to grab it I was jerked back into my seat. “Not you baby, him.” I didn’t even notice anyone sitting back there, but then again I never really wanted to know any of the guys who hung around my mom.
“Here,” He mumbled as he tossed the can into her lap. She hit the breaks and we all flew forward, I managed to catch myself before I hit the dash but my mom wasn’t so lucky. Her head bounced off the steering wheel and she just sat there, with her head on the wheel. I nudged her arm, nothing. I sighed loudly, this wasn’t the first time this had happened, I had a plan. “Shit! Is she knocked out?”
“Uh, Yeah.” I turned back to look at him, he looked around my age, and very tall by the way he was scrunched into the backseat. I knew there were better things to question about him other than his looks but I felt like I had seen him before somewhere. Everything about him just seemed so familiar. “but I think she’s okay. It’s happened before.”
“So should we leave here here or what?” We were both out of the car now, standing on opposite sides looking at each other. He was tall and gorgeous. I looked back to my mom passed out at the wheel, usually I would just move her to the back and drive home but she was with him and I didn’t think he would want to go home with me. “Nevermind, let’s park her over there in that lot. Then we can go our separate ways.” Before I could say a word he already had her in the backseat and started the car again. I got back in, he pulled into the parking lot and rolled the windows down a little. I just watched as he made sure to leave the keys in her pocket and locked the doors. Now I would have to walk home, it wasn’t that far but I would be late. I decided this was the perfect time to light up, I need to clam down and prepare myself for the beating I would receive later.
“You smoke?” He questioned as motioned for me to pass it, I nodded as I let the smoke fill my lungs. I just stood there for awhile, wondering who this guy was. “I thought you said you would kill yourself before you ever took a drag.”
“I know but that was before I was messed up, I need a stress relea-,” It just clicked in my head about what he had said, how would he know what I used to say. I tried to remember every person I had said that too but I couldn’t remember him. “How do you know that?”
“I dunno, I just know, you seem like one of those hypocritical smokers.“ We both looked at each other and burst into laughter, I knew I had heard that before but I still couldn’t place it. My mind seemed so fuzzy, I was running through all the major memories in my head but I still had nothing. “That’s your brain on drugs, you’ll laugh at anything.”
“So,” I put out the joint from the ground and stuck it back into my jacket pocket.
“Come on, let’s go for a walk.” He said, motioning me to follow him. We were walking in the opposite direction of where I lived but I didn’t care. He started to hum, this all felt vaguely familiar like it was déjà vu. “Are you still trying to think of where you’ve seen me before? Jimmy doesn’t ring a bell.”
“Uh-huh,” I mumbled, it was like it was all my brain could manage, it was busy working overtime trying to figure out who he was. “What are we doing here?
I looked around and we were in an abandoned playground. People used to come here with their kids but they stopped after it got messed up by some random kids. I wonder if this was a coincidence that he brought me here or he knew that this is where I spent the majority of my time after my punishments when my dad wanted me out of the house. “I like it here, there’s no one around and you can just unwind.”
I sat down on one of the swings, at my usual spot. This was the best spot to just unwind, it was quiet, peaceful, and no one came here because they were scared of it. Jimmy went behind me and started to gently push me. I let my mind wander as I closed my eyes, we didn’t say anything. He just kept pushing me, al little higher and higher every time. I couldn’t help but think of when my mom and dad were normal and nice, when they used to be real parents. Then everything went to hell, mom started drinking and eventually turned junkie-hooker and dad turned into a total control freak.
_______
Jimmy had stopped pushing me and was now sitting on the swing next to me, I stood up and looked at him it was like I was in a movie. Everything was coming together, this was the climax. You know the part in the movie when you reach that emotional moment. When the two main characters finally realize everything they’ve been trying to reach is right there. The memories started to flood back all at the same time. We were best friends, we were conjoined at the hip, we had been completely and totally in sync at age 12. I could tell he knew that it had finally clicked in my head because he stood up too, he had thins knowing kind of look as he pulled me in fro a hug.
“God! I missed you!” He said into my hair, we stood there holding onto each other for what seemed like forever. It was like we were making up for all those years we were apart. I couldn’t help but think this was too good to be true, this didn’t happen to normal people. I wasn’t some movie star acting this all out. I’m just some random kid, with a crappy life, not a Cinderella story waiting to happen. “I can’t believe it took you that long to remember me. I never stopped thinking about you.”
“Yeah, me too.” I felt his hand go under my chin to make me look up at him. He kissed my forehead softly, I felt like such a jerk. How could I not remember Jimmy Sullivan. I tried to get the pessimistic thoughts out of my head but it all came back, this isn’t the way things are supposed to happen. It’s not real, this doesn’t happen to people like me.
“It’s okay, I would try to forget me too.” He laughed, it was the thing I like about him the most. He was always so laid-back and care-free. He was exactly the same person he was back then, just a little older. “So do you have something to do, or do I have you all to myself?”
“Shit,” I mumbled, I grabbed my bag as fast as I could and started out to the main road. I would be dead for not showing up for a couple hours. My mind was spinning with what my dad would do, by now he was home and Tara would egg him on til he was ready to kill. Now I was back to the shitty life I was used to.
“Violet! What the hell?” Jimmy asked, out-of-breath as he ran to catch up to me. Confused was probably the best word I would use to describe the way Jimmy was looking at me. I didn’t even have the breath to tell him where I was going, I just kept pushing myself to run faster and hope that Tara wasn’t home yet. I was a couple blocks away and I noticed Jimmy was still stuggling to keep up with me. As I turned to look at him he took the chance and grabbed my wrist, forcing me to stop with him. “What the fuck are you doing? Did I fuckin’ do something wrong?”
“Jimmy I really have to get home right now! My dad…” I mumbled as I tried to pull away from him and towards my house, I was so close and it would suck if I missed it by just a few minutes because of this. “I need to go home now! I promise I’ll come to see you later.”
Jimmy’s POV
She looked like scared shitless as she pulled away from me. I wanted to know so bad what was bothering her so much and why she was that scared of her dad. I let my grip loosed and she immedialtey turned so she could start running again. Fuck! I was about to turn so I could go back home when I felt her grab my shoulder.
“I’ll meet you at the park in half an hour, if not come by my house. It’s the big green one on the corner.” I could feel her pulling my head down to her level, I gladly leaned in and closed the space in between us. It just felt right, I wanted this to last forever, to never have to leave her side. “Why? I mean can’t you just stay here now and then go home later.” I whined as I pulled her closer into me. I could see the blush coming on her cheeks then suddenly it vanished as the fear appeared on her face again.
“I’ll see you later, promise.” I watched as she turned to run again towards her house. I could see the green house on the corner from here and I stood waiting to see her get home safely. I felt like the smile plastered on my face was etched in. No matter what I thought about, all could do was smile because my thoughts would always go back to that kiss. I walked back towards the park, I wouldn’t be back in time if I went home first. I took my time this time, remembering every single step of the way. This day had turned out perfect, not exactly the way I had planned but everything had somehow come together.
Normal POV
Thank God! Tara’s car wasn’t here yet, I grabbed my keys out of my bag and unlocked the door. Everything was exactly the way it had been this morning, I didn’t stop to get a drink or anything. I wanted it to seem as if I was here all along. Once I reached the top of the stairs, my door was already open and the lock lying on the ground. I picked it up and examined it, someone had taken it off forcefully, I took a quick glance around my room and it was completely trashed.
I quickly pulled out a piece of paper, I knew they had probably just left for a couple minutes, probably searching the neighborhood looking for me. They had found my stash, the weed was all over my floor and a handful was lying right in the center of my dresser. I quickly wrote a note to Jimmy, explaining that I couldn’t come out. I knew for a fact that it was likely I would be too sore and broken to even go downstairs for the next couple days let alone outside. I planned on dropping it out my window and maybe he would find it if he came around.
I thought about going back to the park to see Jimmy then leave. I thought of everything I wouldn’t have to deal with if I left this fucking house. No more being scared shitless for being five minutes late, no more having to deal with this fucking house. I grabbed a bag and started to shove whatever I could in it, clothes, shoes, makeup, and my stash of emergency cash. I kept looking over my shoulder to check if they were home yet. I looked over and the note was on the windowsill, just lying there waiting to be read.
Hey Jimmy…Hope you found this. Don’t knock on the door! Don’t even look around the house! Just leave Now! I’ll come find you when I can, just be at the park every now and then or leave a note there. I cant see you right now, its nothing serious just some family problems but all I wanted to tell you was,
“There you fuckin’ are! Do you know how long we’ve been driving around this fucking neighborhood trying to find you ass!” He grabbed me by my shoulder and threw me against the wall, I tried as hard as I keep from crying but the pain in my shoulder was unbearable. It felt like there was a million needles stabbing my shoulder. “And what do you have to say about all this weed in your room! I know you can’t blame this shit on your bitch mom!” My hair was being torn out at the roots, all the while Tara was just standing at the door watching. He grabbed me by the arm again and threw me like a rag doll towards the window, I nearly fell out when the glass broke slicing up the side of my body. The note flew out of my hands covered in blood, as I tried to catch myself against the window frame.
Jimmy’s POV
I checked the time on my ipod again, she should’ve been here an hour ago. I got up from the sidewalk where I was sitting and started to run towards her house, I wanted to see her so bad right now, to hold her in my arms and never have to let go. I go to the corner where she lived and there was a big crowd of people already surrounding the house. I could see an ambulance and police cars all around her house. Everything was going through my mind all at once, what the fuck happened? It felt as if my fucking feet were glued to the ground. I looked down and there was a bloody piece of paper there. My stomach turned as I bent over to pick it up, I quickly read over the note, when I noticed the news truck broadcasting right next me.
“Here we are at Skyline and Thomas, where a teenage girl was recently found dead, we are told that she was beaten to death by her father an-” I turned and the contents of my stomach was emptied onto the road. My mind couldn’t process, those words, they weren’t true, they couldn’t be. Leana’s note was echoing in my mind,
I Won’t See You Tonight…