Nothing Goes As Orchestrated

Wrestling with Jack is almost like wrestling with a child. You feel bad because his attempts are pathetic and it almost makes you want to let him win. Almost. But Cassie had a bit of a mean streak in her. And after letting him think he might be able to win for a little while, she swiftly pinned him to the wet sand.

"That's twice you've beaten me," he whined.

Cassie laughed, "Well, you need to work on your moves," she said.

"No, I just need to be better at catching you off guard," he said.

She laughed again, looking over at Alex and Chelley. Her stomach flipped and and she turned away, looking back out at the water.

"What happened while we were gone?" Jack asked.

Cassie sighed, "Nothing. What makes you think something happened?" she asked.

"Because you look like you're about to cry," he said.

"I just hate seeing them together," she said quietly.

Jack nodded, "So tell Alex that," he said, "Tell him you love him."

Cassie cringed, "It's not that easy, Jack," she said.

"Why not? You do love him, don't you?" he asked and she bit her lip, looking away from him. "Stop that," he said.

"What?" she asked.

"Biting your lip. Alex told me not to let you do that," he said.

"Oh," she said quietly, "Now that they've moved away from my towel, I'm going to go lay down for little while," she said and walked away.

After about half an hour of laying there, she was about to roll onto her stomach when a shadow fell over her. She had a good idea of who it was so she just kept her eyes shut behind her sunglasses and pretended to be asleep.

"Hey baby, can I get your number?"

She instantly recognized the voice and her eyes shot open as she jumped up from her towel, "Ryno!" she exclaimed, hugging the tall boy.

"Why has it been so long since I've seen you?" he asked, hugging her tightly.

"I wish I knew," she said, sitting down once he let go of her.

He took a seat next to her and they sat talking for close to an hour. It wasn't until Jon came over that Ryan got up and wandered down the beach to the water. Jon took his spot next to her and looked around.

"Who's that girl with Alex?" he asked.

"Chelley, his girlfriend," she said as Jon stared at her, "Stare a little harder, DJ. She's only nineteen," she said, rolling her eyes.

Jon looked at Cassie, "She's cute. But your boobs are way better," he said, staring at her chest.

"Oh Jesus, that's it," Cassie said, reaching for her tank top and pulling it over her head, "I'm keeping these things covered from now on."

"No, Cassie, come on," he said, "Let's go in the water. I'll be your pretend boyfriend if you want."

"Yeah, tried that," she said pulling her tank top back off as she stood, "And it backfired something terrible," she said, walking toward the water.

Somehow it happened that Chelley and Cassie ended up alone after awhile. It wasn't nearly as awkward as Cassie thought it would be. As soon as she remembered how oblivious the girl was, she relaxed a bit.

"I really like your swimsuit," Chelley said, as they walked toward their towels to put their clothes on and go find everyone else.

"Thanks," Cassie said, "I've had this one for awhile but I never wear it. I don't know why."

"Do you usually wear the tank top ones?" she asked.

"No. I mean, I have a few of those, but I don't wear them any more than I wear this kind," she said, somewhat confused.

"Oh. I was just wondering because, don't take this the wrong way, you're kind of," she paused, "Um, curvy. And a lot of girls tend to be self conscious about that," she said.

"I like my curves," Cassie said, pulling on her shorts first and then her tank top.

What she really wanted say was something more along the lines of 'your boyfriend has no problem with my curves,' but she held back. The girls made their way up to the pier and found all the boys, along with Angie, Amanda and Desirae. Alex introduced everyone to Chelley and they all spent the rest of the afternoon on the pier.

A few times, Jack had managed to make it so Alex and Cassie were alone in hopes of Cassie saying something that would fix things, but she didn't. They were currently the only two of the group who had wanted to go the aquarium. They walked side by side in silence. Until Alex spoke, that is.

"What were you going to say earlier?" he asked.

Cassie sighed, "Nothing," she said, "It doesn't matter."

"What do you want from me, Cassandra?" he asked with a heavy sigh.

"I don't know" she said quietly, staring at the ground.

Alex let out an exasperated sigh, "You know what? I'm so fucking sick of this shit, Cassandra. You make this out to be so hard for you but you're not even fucking trying to figure it out. It's been six months since we broke up. And I've apologized, and I've practically begged for your forgiveness but you aren't even willing to meet me halfway. God damn, it's just like our whole fucking relationship. You've always got one foot out the fucking door," he ranted.

Cassie stopped dead in her tracks, "One foot out the door? Are you kidding me? I was fucking all in, Alex. I don't want babies with just anyone. You have to mean a whole fucking lot to me for me to want that with you. Which I did," she yelled, "And still fucking do!"

He stared at her, his thoughts suddenly jumbled, "Then, I don't get it. Why are we the way we are?"

"Because I can't forgive myself for everything I've put you through," she said, leaning against the wall and sliding down it. She covered her face with her hands as tears began to fall.

Alex frowned as all of his frustration fell away and sat down next to her, wrapping his arms around her shaking frame, "Hey," he said, "Hey, don't cry, Cassandra. It's okay," he said, kissing the side of her head.

She sniffled and moved her hands away from his face, "You're in the same boat," she said, "Your mom told me. You can't get past the fact that you think I'm too good for you. I'm not. I'm probably not even worth any of this at all. I don't deserve that pedestal you put me on," she said.

"Shh," he said, taking her face in his hands and wiping away her tears with his thumbs, "You frustrate the fucking hell out of me sometimes, Cassandra Black. But other than my mom, you're the only person who has ever really believed in me. And even after everything we've been through, you still believe in me. And for those two reasons, you're worth all of this. Okay?" he said.

Before she could respond, he pressed his lips to hers. She kissed back immediately. His hands left her face and his arms wrapped around her body once again, pulling her to him. When they broke the kiss, she shifted and rested her head against his shoulder. They sat there against the aquarium wall for nearly ten minutes before either one spoke again.

"I can't be the other woman," she said quietly.

"I know."