Nothing Goes As Orchestrated

A few days later, Cassie wandered into Rian and Alex's house after work. Knowing Rian was at her house with Angie, she made her way into the living room and fell into the chair, kicking her shoes off as she did so.

"It's about time you stopped ignoring me," Alex said.

Cassie rolled her eyes, "I wasn't ignoring you," she said, "You like to call and text me when I'm in class and can't answer."

"You could always call back when you get out of class," he said.

"I'm usually tired and ready to crash when I get out of class. And besides, shouldn't you be calling your girlfriend to come spend the night, not your ex?" she asked.

"She's not nearly as fun as you."

She rolled her eyes again, "Regardless, she's the one you're with. I'm just your friend," she said.

Alex appeared in front of her and bent down, placing his hands on the arms of the chair, "Bullshit, Cassandra. 'Just friends' don't spend entire afternoons having sex. 'Just friends' don't risk getting caught in compromising situations by their friends," he said, leaning in closer to her, "If you were just my friend, you would've gone home the other night after Chelley left. But you didn't. You stayed and slept with me."

"I made a mistake! Many times in one day. Okay? I've felt like a slut for the last three days," Cassie exclaimed.

"No, that wasn't a mistake. The reason you did it is the same reason I did. The feelings are real. They're as real as they were before we broke up. Stop pushing me away," he said.

"You have a girlfriend, Alex," Cassie shouted.

"God damn it, why do you think that is?" he shouted back, pushing himself up so he was standing straight, "She got my mind off of you. But now that you're in my life again, even being with her doesn't stop me from wanting you."

"Then I'll get out of your life," Cassie said and stood up, "It's better for both of us that way."

He grabbed her shoulders before she could go anywhere, "Like hell it is! Fuck, Cassandra, we've been over this. It's been five months since we broke up and neither of us are over it. That has to say something about us," he said.

"There is no us," she insisted.

"That's only because you won't forgive me for being an idiot. I apologized. I admitted that I was wrong. I don't know what more you want from me," he said, "This is fucking killing me though."

"Well good. Now you know how it feels," she said.

Alex laughed, "Oh, so now you're playing the revenge card?" he asked.

"No, Alex, this isn't revenge. This is everything you've done to all those girls coming back around to you," she said, "This is your karma."

"Well if that's the case, karma is going to slap you in the face pretty hard for what you did with me when you knew I had a girlfriend," he shot back.

"Maybe. But at least I'll know that I deserve it. Now if you'll kindly let go of me," she said, placing her hands on Alex's chest and pushing him, "I have a class I need to get to."

Alex stumbled backward a few steps but caught himself before he fell. He managed to grab Cassie's arm before she got far and pulled her to him, pressing his lips hard against hers. She didn't kiss back though. Instead she once again placed her hands on Alex's chest and shoved him away from her, this time with such force that he stumbled backward and fell over the arm of the love seat. He looked up at Cassie as she started screaming at him.

"Stop! Just fucking stop it, Alex," she said, tears pouring down her face, "Don't you get it? I feel terrible and you're just making it worse. So if you fucking care about me like you say you do, then fucking stop," she said and turned on her heel, rushing to get out of the house as fast as she possibly could.

She cried the entire way to the school. Once she had parked, she took a few minutes to calm herself down and fix her makeup. The next few minutes were spent debating whether she wanted to go to her class.

She finally decided that not going would be worse than going, as it would give her time to dwell on things, so she got out of her car and made her way to her classroom. Her mind was elsewhere and she only half paid attention. She spent most of the time doing the one thing she was trying not to; thinking about Alex.

About halfway through class, she felt her phone vibrate. Not really caring about the class, she pulled the device out and opened the text message, despite who had sent it.

I'm sorry.

Cassie sighed quietly to herself and slid her phone back into her pocket. She suddenly felt exhausted, like all the emotions from her fight with Alex had just caught up with her and drained every ounce of energy she had.

Without a word, she slipped out of her seat and walked out of the classroom. When she got home, she heard the TV and considered just going upstairs, but decided to go talk to her friends instead. They both looked at her when she entered the living room.

"Class end early?" Angie asked.

Cassie shook her head, "Nah, I'm just having a bad night," she said.

"What's wrong?"

She sighed, not really sure of what to say. Anything involving Alex would require an explanation and she wasn't sure she really wanted to get into that.

"I had a fight with Alex," she said, unable to come up with anything other than the truth.

Rian raised an eyebrow, "What about?" he asked.

"The boundaries of our friendship," she said, choosing her words carefully, "It's proving to be a lot harder than either of us thought it would be."

"Anything involving Alex is always more complicated than it should be," Rian said, "And I can say that with confidence, seeing as how he's been my best friend for so long."

In spite of the entire situation, Cassie laughed. Rian had no idea just how right he was in regards to the current situation.

"I know," she said, "I dated him long enough to know that."

Rian looked at her for minute, "You okay?" he asked, "I mean, other than your fight with Alex."

"I," she sighed, "Yeah, I guess. I don't know. I'm tired," she said.

"Go sleep," he said and she nodded.

When she got to her room, she changed into pajamas and laid down. Her mind raced with thoughts about everything. Part of her wanted to go back downstairs and tell Rian and Angie everything. She wanted to stop hiding the way she'd been feeling from them. She wanted them to tell her how to fix it. But she knew that conversation would go about as well as the one she'd had with Alex earlier.

She knew she needed to talk to someone, but feared any doctor would try to put her back on the medication she had once been prescribed. And just about everyone else in her life knew Alex as well. She didn't want to hear anyone tell her how stupid she was. She already knew.

After laying in bed for a couple hours unable to fall asleep, Cassie got up. She slid her glasses on her face and grabbed a hoodie from her closet and her purse from the desk and went to her car. She drove around with no specific destination for nearly an hour but knew the insomnia wasn't going to let up.

It wasn't long before she found herself parked in front of Rian and Alex's house. There was only one car in the driveway and no others near the house. She could see some lights on though the windows, implying that the person who was home was still awake. Slowly, she turned off the car and got out, being careful not to let the door slam, and walked up to the porch.

For a moment, she considered turning around and going back to her car. But she didn't. Instead she reached out and rang the doorbell. Thirty seconds later the door opened. Alex was wearing a pair of long basketball shorts and nothing else. He raised an eyebrow at her but said nothing.

She stared at him for a minute and breathed in, "I couldn't sleep," she said quietly.

Without a word, Alex pulled the door open the rest of the way and stepped to the side, making room for her to go inside.