Meant for No One but Each Other

It had been a week, but Danica had still not spoken to Neville. She knew she had to, to apologize and make sure they were okay, still best friends for life, but in truth, she was scared. She was scared that he would finally show the bravery she knew was in him and tell her he didn’t like her anymore, that she had crossed too big a line. And she realized that that scared her more than anything else. So she spent all her time either hidden behind books in the library with Draco, or in her common room. He couldn’t find her in the Ravenclaw common room and she knew that Neville would never talk to her if Draco was there.

But today, she was alone in the library. Draco had something to do with Crabbe and Goyle, so she was alone. She should have known right then that the day would turn upside down. But she hoped and prayed that it wouldn’t. And of course, she was disappointed as Neville walked into the library, a worried look on his face. She quickly scanned the library tables around her and saw that there were no open tables. She knew that Neville probably had some paper to do, and she knew that he would never ever ask someone he didn’t know very well if he could sit at their table. And so she was not surprised as he stood nervously at the foot of hers where she sat alone. Though she may have been Ravenclaw, she knew that no one truly believed she belonged there. After all, her blood was metaphorically just as green as Draco’s.

“Hi,” he said nervously.

“Hey,” she said. She found herself to be just as nervous, which unnerved her even more. Danica Shardae was confident. She did not get nervous.

“Can I sit here?” he asked, looking around.

“Of course Nev,” she said, moving her bag off the table, surprised that he was even asking.

He smiled slightly in gratitude before he sat down. “Thanks,” he said.

They sat awkwardly for a while just doing their work, not really sure what to say. Danica opened her mouth several times before closing it quickly as quietly. There was so much she had to say but she found she couldn’t say any of it.

“S-so what are you doing?” Neville spoke finally.

“Potions essay,” she said shyly, rolling her eyes. “You?”

“Transfiguration,” he held up his parchment.

There was something in his voice that made her break. This was, after all, her best friend. “Nev, I’ve been meaning to talk to you since the term started.”

“Me too,” he said quietly.

“Really? W-why?” For the first time in her life, she found herself stammering. Was he really going to tell her he didn’t want to be her friend anymore? She had to apologize quickly before he did that. “C-can I go first?”

He nodded. “Yeah.”

“Okay Nev,” she took a deep breath. “I just really want to apologize for that day in Diagon Alley. I shouldn’t have let Pansy get to me like that. You know how much she wants to grab Draco out from under me. But I shouldn’t have just bolted on you like that.”

He was quiet for a moment, then he too took a deep breath. “Dani you have been my best friend since as long as I can remember, and I know that our backgrounds are different. I know what your parents were and what you will probably be. I have always known this, and I still wanted to be your friend. But I realized that day in Diagon Alley that no matter what, Draco will always come first.” There was stammer or indecision in his voice. She could tell he had really thought this through and probably practiced the speech many times. In a way, she was proud of him for finally showing the Gryffindor in him. But then, she remembered that her fear was coming true. He was going to tell her he was done with her.

“Nev, Draco is my betrothed, but you know I love you too,” she tried to plead with him.

“Yeah but you don’t need me Dani,” he said quietly. “Not like I need you. You will always have him. But what happens when he finally tells you he’s had enough, him or me?”

“He would never,” she promised him. Draco knew he would not be able to get away with that.

“He will one day,” Neville said, his voice still low. “You know he will, but I’m bating him to it. I’m saying it has to be him or me.”

“W-w-what?” she stammered. She was so thrown off now, not even sure what to say.

“Look Dani, I love you,” he said, not meeting her eyes. “But I can’t just be your friend anymore. I can’t be the one you go to when you need to get away from Draco for a while. So if you stay with him, I can’t be your friend anymore. It – it hurts too much.”

“Nev, please don’t do this,” she said, tears brimming in her eyes. How was she supposed to choose between the love of her life and her best friend? They both meant so much to her. How could she ever choose? “You know I don’t want to choose between you. I can’t.”

‘You have to,” Neville’s voice broke slightly. “I’m sorry Dani, but I love you.”

“I love you too,” she begged. ‘But I would never do this to you. To have to pick between my best friend and my betrothed since birth, how can I pick just one?”

“No you don’t understand,” he said. “I love you.”

“What?” she gasped. What was he saying? “Nev, I’m sorry,” she said, her voice more sure now. Sure Neville was her best friend and she loved him, but she wasn’t in love with him. No, her heart belonged solely to Draco. “I don’t feel the same way.”

“I think you do,” he said quietly.

“No I love Draco,” she said.

“Do you really?” he asked, still not meeting her eyes. “I mean, have you ever thought about it?”

“No,” she admitted.

“No, because you’ve only ever been taught to see Draco in that way,” he said. “But I think that if you stopped to think, you would see that yes you were taught to love Draco, but you naturally fell in love with me.”

“Nev, please,” she begged, tears starting to pour out now. People were watching them but she didn’t care. “You know I’m betrothed to him.”

“Exactly,” he said quietly, gathering his things. “Look, I’ll let you think about it some more, alright? I’ll go er – study in the Gryffindor common room, shall I?” He stood and for the first time, met her eyes. He turned to walk away then, but stopped to say one more thing. “I’m sorry Dani, but I can’t do it anymore. You have to pick one. Me or him.”