With Every Strike Of Lightning.

After sending Claire off in the back of Joe’s car fast asleep, I walked back into the apartment, Jordan, Nick and Kevin following in behind me. I collapsed onto the sofa and curled into a ball, getting comfortable so that I could go to sleep.

“Going to sleep Lauren.” Kevin laughed, sitting on the floor in front of me.

“Yup, now ssh.” I mumbled, moving slightly on the sofa.

“No you don’t, come on, bed.” Kevin said.

“No.” I said, moving again so I was no longer facing him.

“Yes.” He said as he wrapped his arms around me and lifted me up bridal style.

I moved again, this time so I was facing his chest and clinging onto his shirt so that he couldn’t drop me.

“Calm down Lauren, don’t you trust me?” Kevin laughed as I dug my nails through his top and into his skin.

“No.” I muttered around a yawn.

“Oh shush and go to sleep.” Kevin smirked, knowing I would be asleep before we reached my bedroom.

And I was. I could vaguely remember being put back into my bed before I fell into a deep sleep.

I woke up at 9 o’clock, my alarm clock blaring next to me, having forgotten to turn it off from the morning before when it got up to go and get a few things sorted for Claire before she was awake. Groaning, I rolled across my bed and slammed my hand down onto the annoying alarm clock on my bedside table to turn it off. I sighed when it stopped and curled back into a ball to hear the door be knocked.

“No one’s home.” I called before pulling my duvet over my head.

“I thought I heard your alarm go off.” Kevin laughed as he walked in.

“Why are you here? You have a house right? Go live in it so I can sleep.” I moaned, not bothering to open my eyes.

“Maybe I like your home better.” Kevin replied cheekily.

“Fine then, I’ll go sleep in your house and you can live here.” I said, sitting up and looking at him through squinted eyes.

“Whys it so light.” I complained, covering my eyes while Kevin laughed again.

“Because its 9 o’clock now.” He smirked.

“Oh shut up. Has Claire rang yet?”

“No not yet.”

“Good, hopefully she’s asleep and she hasn’t realised what I’ve done to her and she can’t be plotting my death.” I laughed, remembering my little note to her.

“What have you done to her?” Kevin asked me suspiciously.

“Nothing.” I said, looking away from him and trying to not laugh again.

“Lauren, I know you, spill it.” Kevin said.

“Well, she got me to wear something, so now I’ve got my own back on her by making her wear something that she loves, minus one item of clothing.” I said, waving my hands about.

“What piece of clothing?”

“Nothing much, just her leggings.” I said before falling about laughing.

“She might just kill you.”

“I know.” I said, laughing harder than before.

“I love your laugh.” Kevin said quietly.

I pretended not to hear him because I don’t think I was supposed to. I love being friends with Kevin again, but I’m not sure if I could go back to how we were before, no matter how I felt for him. Instead of responding to him, I jumped up from my bed and skipped down the stairs before he’d even realised what I was doing.

Going into the kitchen, I grabbed a bottle of water and a bowl from the cupboard. Instead of making breakfast though, I put the bowl on the side and walked out onto the balcony. Sitting down, I pulled the hoodie I was wearing tighter around my body, that’s when I realised that it was Kevin’s. Sighing, I looked over the view, bringing my cold hands to my face; I rubbed the material of the jacket across my face. That’s when the door to the balcony opened.

Kevin walked out and took a seat next to me on the floor. His hand went around my waist pulling me closer to him. My heart skipped a beat as he rested his head on the top of mine.

“That jacket suits you. You can keep it.” He said quietly, barely loud enough for me to hear over the city’s noise.

“Thanks.” I mumbled, not sure of how to act towards him.

We hadn’t been this close since he’d brought me out of my mute phase. Sitting with my legs crossed under me, I thought about what my heart was telling me and what my head was telling me. My head told me not to think about being with Kevin again, we could probably never go back to being an us again, it just wouldn’t work. But then, my heart was telling me I needed there to be an us to make me stay around now, to make me still be near him and to make me a whole again.

“What are you thinking?” Kevin asked after a little while of silence.

“Nothing in particular.” I lied to him, trying to get the message across to myself at the same time.

“Oh really?”

“Yeah really. But of course, if you can read minds and tell me I was thinking something different and you can tell me what I was thinking to be exact, go for it.” I laughed, knowing he’d try to guess my thoughts now.

“Well, I think you were thinking the same thing as me. You were thinking about what your head and what your heart wants you to do.”

“Why would you think that?” I asked, worried because he’d got it right.

“Because Lauren, when I think of something, I know you think of it too. Just because of different reasons.”

“Who’s your head and heart telling you about then?” I asked, not looking him in the eye.

“D...Danielle.” Kevin stuttered.

My breathing hitched in my throat as I tried to make sense of what Kevin had just said.

“So, what are they saying?”

“My heads saying stay away but my hearts saying she’s single, it’s time to find out if she’ll have me back.” Kevin said honestly.

I sat up straight and moved away from him, slipping off his jacket, I looked at him briefly. Placing the jacket in his lap, I held the door handle.

“Always follow your heart.” I said before walking inside and going straight to my room.

Closing the door firmly behind me, I slumped down onto my bed and let the tears flow freely. I buried my face in my pillow, ignoring Jordan’s soft knocks on the door and Nick’s worried tone drifting through the open vent above the door. I stayed there, in that position, my head buried into the pillow; my feet tangled in my bright pink blanket id had for so many years id lost count, for hours. I fell to sleep in the end.

I guess I can’t follow my heart now. Kevin’s hearts made sure of that one.