With Every Strike Of Lightning.

“10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1!” I yelled into the mic, Kevin standing just to my left.

“Happy New Year!” Everyone, including the crowd, yelled at the same point.

I turned to Claire and Jordan before running and pouncing onto Claire’s back.

“I’m sorry, new year, new beginning. Best friends.” I smiled, over her shoulder before jumping down and hugging Jordan.

“I’m sorry too. Like you said new beginnings.” Claire smiled before hugging me tight.

I went around, saying happy New Year to everyone but strategically skipping Kevin because Danielle was now on the stage as well and Miley, because well, I just don’t like her.

We all left the stage and went back stage. I grabbed my things and began walking back along the corridors and out back onto the street just by our hotel. Claire and Jordan had decided to stay behind to spend time with everyone whereas I couldn’t stay awake much longer so I left on my own. Talking to my mum on the phone as I walked, I thought about how this year I was going to change, no matter what. A lot had happened last year, things that I don’t want to have to think about again, so I wasn’t, a new start, a fresh face and I was defiantly going to get that Forever True tattoo, even if I was going on my own with no one to hold my hand.

Getting into the hotel room, I ended the call to my mum and changed into my pyjamas and then slumping into the bed. We were staying in the hotel for the night so I was free to crash out and not worry about having to wake up in a few hours time to leave again.

I woke up in the morning to see Claire and Jordan fast asleep. Climbing out of bed quickly and quietly, I jumped into the shower and got ready for the day. Once I was done, I left my hair to dry naturally, pulled on my Forever True hoodie and slippers and grab some paper and a pen before going onto the balcony to write a list of things I was going to do this year. The first was a letter to Kevin telling him I was leaving him be now, to forgive and forget and that id see him on telly. The second most important was to get the Forever True tattoo but with an added twist; I would get a C, L, J and Granddad in small writing underneath.

“Lauren, what are you doing out here?” Claire’s voice said through the now open balcony door.

“Writing a list of must do things for this year. There’s quite a lot really.” I laughed, looking down onto the piece of paper.

“Trust you.” Claire laughed, sitting next to me and looking at the paper.

“Its normally you writing lists actually.” I laughed, remembering all of the times Claire had written lists.

“Never mind.” She beamed at me.

“Come on, let’s go wake soon to be Mrs Jonas and get ready to go home. I, quite frankly, want my bed and pillows and duvet and I want to watch meaningless films that make me laugh.” I smiled.

“Same.” Claire smiled, skipping a head of me into the room.

I was glad our new year, new beginning thing was working, even though it could still go horribly wrong because it’s only been a few hours since we set it and we’d only spoke for ten minutes.

--------

We arrived at the apartment and climbed out of the car. Jordan, Nick, Joe, Kevin and Danielle were all sat in the car with us when we came back. I walked up to the apartment a head of Claire, after saying my goodbyes to Joe, Jordan and Nick. Claire was busy saying goodbye to Kevin and Danielle. On the way home, Claire and Danielle had seemed quite pally with each other, making me feel ill, sad and lonely. Joe must have spotted my sudden change in mood because he swapped places with Jordan and sat next to me, talking to me the whole way home to keep me occupied.

“HOME!” I laughed as I slumped down onto the sofa.

“Don’t get too excited, we’ll probably have to leave to go somewhere soon.” Claire laughed, sitting next to me.

“I’m happy for now.” I said, moving so I was more comfortable.

“Lazy cow.” Claire laughed as she turned on the TV.

We sat in silence for a while, just watching the TV and all of the boring films that were on every New Years Day. After a while though, Claire’s phone rang. She picked it up, checked the screen, smiled and then answered it.

“Hey Danielle. No I can talk.” She said happily, getting up and walking away from the sofa.

Right then, my heart broke a little. First she’d taken Kevin back, taking him from my life once again and now she’s moved onto my best friend of so many years we’ve lost count. She was ruining my life now and I knew she was doing it on purpose.

Getting up, I sniffed back the tears as I walked up to my bedroom. Collapsing onto the bed after slamming the door with all I had, I let the tears flow freely, not caring if Claire could hear me or not.

Id kept my tears to myself for over 2 months now, making sure no one could hear me when I cried. I’d go into the bathroom and take a shower when I wanted to cry or go for a drive, wait till they were all asleep or bury my head in my pillow so they couldn’t hear it. Now I couldn’t care. I wanted people to know that I was sad because I couldn’t keep it bottle up any longer.

I was slowly losing everything and I knew soon enough, id be on my own. I felt that I was on my own now; Claire had always been there for me as I had for her and now she was friends with Danielle I knew that, that was over. I guess good things do come to an end.

Before long, I’d stopped crying and I was drawing, something I hadn’t done in a long time. I was putting my anger onto the paper and I knew that I would have enough anger to write a song about it as well.

“Lauren, what are you doing in there? You’ve been gone for hours.” Claire called through the door.

“Nothing. Just thinking.” I lied, knowing she would want to see what I’d done if she knew I was drawing.

“Ok. I’m off out. I probably won’t be back until late. Don’t wait up.”

“Whatever, have fun with Danielle.” I called back, knowing she was going out.

“I’m...” Claire said.

I cut her off, “I’m not stupid. Have fun.” I said before turning on my music and singing along to the words.