With Every Strike Of Lightning.

Joe seemed interested in my childhood, and asked if I could take him to some of the places Lauren and I used to hang out. At first I was a bit hesitant but then I realized this was the longest Joe had gone without going distant and quiet.

I took him to my old high school first; it was a Saturday so the gates were locked. That didn’t stop Joe though; he climbed over the gate then helped me. We walked through the grounds, Joe listening to me telling stories about how my mates and I used to run out of school to buy Redbull and the teachers didn’t even notice. We even snuck vodka into school in coke bottles on a couple of occasions. I felt comfortable telling Joe, about these things as I knew he wouldn’t judge me.

We had been out all day and it was just getting dark, I took Joe to all the old places I used to go on the weekends. We were on Brandon Hill, where I spent most of my Saturdays underage drinking, with a group of people. This was also where I first met Tony, but I didn’t tell Joe that. When I noticed the view was amazing, I had to shake out thoughts of Joe proposing to me right there and then.

“You know, when I was fifteen I would have never have thought my life would had turned out like this.” I said filling the silence.

“And what did the drunken fifteen year old Claire, think her life was going to go?” Joe smirked, I knew I should have left out some drunken stories.

“Well, I thought I would go to college and then get a job working with children. I did have my life all planned out, like the naive fifteen year old I was. But I grew up and realized it wasn’t the life for me.”

“So, you were going to marry Tony, that is his name right? Then what have children by the time you were twenty five and live happily ever after?” Joe and I had never really spoken about my old life back in England.

“Twenty, I wanted to be married. But life never goes to plan.” I mentally slapped myself for bringing marriage and children up.

“I always did think I would be the last to settle down, I just don’t see why people rush into things.” Joe said standing up brushing the grass from his jeans before helping me up.

“But surely you want to settle down soon, agter seeing how happy your brothers are. I mean look at Nick he is going to be a dad soon, and Kevin will be getting married soon. Don’t you ever think how nice it would be to settle down?” I gently said hoping I had not gone to far.

“People don’t seem to understand, I am a person outside of the Jonas Brothers I’m Joe. I’m not Kevin or Nick, we may be brothers but we all have different lives. I thought you of all people would respect that.” Joe raised his voice, his hands clenched into fists by his sides.

“I know you are not the same as your brothers, which is why I love you.” I mumbled slightly scared, Joe hardly ever raised his voice.

“Really, or is this all just an act. I mean I get it, it’s all coming together now. Forever True was a new band, you wanted to become famous so you decided to date Joe Jonas, the un-controllable brother. You wanted to be the one that got publicity for changing me, for mending my broken heart after Camilla broke it? Is that why you are so persistent with the marriage and kid hints, you want to tie me down? ” Joe pulled away from me, his tone turning cold.

Tears prickled in my eyes, it was weird how he could make me feel such strong emotions seconds from each other. I raised my hand and smacked him across the face.

“No it wasn’t it was because I loved you.” I whispered before running the rest of the way home.

“Claire, are you okay you have been quiet all night.” Lauren said snapping me out of my trance.

I had forced the events of the past week out of my mind, determined to enjoy Lauren’s hen weekend. It had worked until I started drinking. I hated not knowing if this was the end of our relationship for the second time.

“Yeah, come on. A hen night isn’t complete without people dancing on the bar.” I smiled downing the rest of the vodka bottle.

Jordan was sat with Lauren’s mum taking pictures of everybody. Lauren climbed onto the bar first, we had made her wear all the hen weekend accessories. Then I got on, holding onto Lauren who had drank the same amount as me. Jordan wouldn’t on the bar, of fear of falling and harming the baby but she came and danced beside the bar.

It was almost three in the morning and Lauren’s mum had just taken Lauren’s younger sisters home in the mini bus. Lauren got that glassy look in her eye, she always gets it when she thinks of the past. She pulled out her phone and walked outside. I tried following after her, but by now the club had re opened and random people were dancing blocking my way to Lauren.

By the time I got outside, I could hear Lauren on the phone. “I know it’s late, I just wanted to make amends.” Lauren slurred.

“Thank you, I am happy. The happiest I have been since before the.. well you know.” Lauren choked out.

I decided to make an appearance, and clear things up with whoever was on the, other end of the phone. My sober side kicking in.

I walked over to Lauren who was rubbing her eyes rapidity. Taking the phone from her I sighed as I saw she had called Alex.

“Hi Alex, it’s Claire. I’m sorry about that. You know how she gets.” I said trying to sound sober.

“Hey Claire, yeah I understand. So she is really getting married then?” Alex chuckled.

“Yeah, they are so in love it’s sickening.” I joked.

“Look, can you tell her that I am happy for her. She deserved to find a man who would stick by her and love her.” Alex yawned making me aware of the time.

“Okay I will, you know she doesn’t hate you for walking away anymore. She understands you were just to young to cope. Maybe we could all meet up sometime soon.” I said looking at Lauren who was rocking back and forth.

“Yeah, see you around Claire.” Alex said before hanging up.

I wrapped my arm around Lauren, she looked as if she wanted to cry. “It’s okay to cry sometime you know.” I said to her.

“It doesn’t seem right, not now. Not on my hen night, when I’m marrying Kevin. I can’t cry for mine and Alex’s baby.” Lauren fought back the tears.

“I think tonight is has good as any. I know none of us will ever forget the baby but I mean you want to leave the past in the past right and have a new beginning with Kevin.” Lauren just nodded.

“Well you can’t move on until you have grieved properly.” I said pulling Lauren closer.

Her body starting shaking uncontrollably, she had bottled these feelings inside for so long. It was time for her to let them out. I even became tearful. I didn’t notice Jordan join us until she wrapped both her arms around us. She had defiantly picked up the maternal instinct.

We caught a taxi home, a few minutes after. Lauren had stopped crying and now was staring into space.

“Wait can you stop the car for a minute?” Jordan asked the driver suprising Lauren and I.
We got out the car with her, Jordan walked over to a man who was trying to sale red roses. I thought that it was pretty stupid because hardly anyone was out at this time in the morning, but I didn’t voice my views.

Jordan handed Lauren and I each a rose silently walking over to the rail that was separating the sidewalk from the sea.

“Laur, this is your chance to say goodbye. A chance to start your new life.” And with that she dropped the rose into the sea and watching it float away. Before turning around and getting back into the taxi.

I found it hard to keep up, but when I didn’t eventually realize what Jordan wanted us to do I dropped the rose into the sea.

“She is right, I know you didn’t get a chance to say goodbye properly to your baby. This is your chance take as long as you want.” I said hugging a silent Lauren, before leaving her on her own for a while.