I Will Breathe Fire

Aiden’s face turned a different shade of pale and she held herself up by her elbows. She covered her mouth with one hand, feeling the frozen ends of her finger tips cool her burning cheeks. Her breathing was jiggered and her eyes bloodshot. So many things ran through her mind that the over load of stress seemed too much for her.

“Aiden,”

She slowly tore her eyes from her blood to find Gerard standing in the doorway at hast.

“What’s… Oh no,” Gerard tried to conjure words, but at this moment there was nothing he could say to make things better. He ran to her kneeling at her side trying to comfort her, but instead she pushed him away.

She looked at him with the same frightened expression as before catching him at a weak spot. His eyes began to sting, but held his tears at bay. He felt more than just guilty, he felt the like a six year old child, who had just been told by his mother that he was nothing and that she didn’t love him anymore.

Her hand retuned to her side and she slowly slid her way to rest her back on the bed. He gathered the torn comforter and slowly wrapped it around her aching body, not being able to take her eyes off the boys that knelt beside her, awaiting her approval of touch.

“Did Jack do this to you?” Gerard asked sternly.

Her eyes widened with terror. She began to cry silently, shaking her head.

She swallowed a lump that seemed to choke her all the while turning her gaze to a rather panicked Mikey.

Breathing frantically he broke the silence. “I’m calling the ambulance!”

“No!” Aiden shrieked. “D-don’t”

She pulled herself to a comfortable position and tried to hide her face in the sheets.

“Aiden c’mon,” Mikey cried making a mess of his hair, out of frustration. “You’re bleeding. For goodness sakes you’re hurt and we don’t know how bad it is.”

Frank and Gerard knelt there like mannequins, scoring the same expression, wanting to know what happened.

“No.” She returned coldly.

Mikey fell to his knees needing someone to tell him, to reassure him what to do. He was drunk, however he still could tell between right and wrong, and this was over the top. Mikey hid his face in hands contemplating on what to do; he wanted to vomit at the site of the dried blood on the vanished wooden floor. But instead replayed the memory of that linger fresh in his mind.

After everyone had left the party, Mikey had the urge to smoke but couldn’t find a lighter. After quickly searching the living room, he remembered putting away a spare in his side table drawer in the guest room upstairs.

He entered the room to be greeted with a slight stench, but Mikey didn’t take notice. Standing in the middle of the room for 10 seconds straight wondering why he couldn’t see, he walked over to the door and flipped the light switch. It was there he was rendered of every emotion, dropping to his knees.

“Fuck,” he let out, trembling.

Frank moved close to her and pulled at the comforter.

“Leave me alone!” She snapped, now staring daggers into him.

Frank froze closing his eyes, feeling her words sting.

“Aiden we want to help,” Gerard finally spoke softly trying to hide what happened down stairs and the trances of guilt in his voice.

Silence took over the room and all that was left to be heard, was the light breathing of the four in the room.

“I-I was… ” Aiden stammered after a while, trying to form apprehensible words to cover up what had happened. She sniffed and away her eyes wandered, stopping at her feet. Again she swallowed hard fighting the urge to cry, feeling all the emotions she though she had abandoned, come back to haunt her.

She felt rage; hate, jealously, hurt, anger built within her, stirring in the pit of her stomach. Her fists clenched the material in a death grip before hearing Gerard reply.

“You don’t have to… don’t say it.” His body language was pleading her approval to hold her, or to at least try to make her feel safe.

She took a staggered breath in suddenly feeling the need to hurl. She held on to her emotions has long as she could before she finally broke down, brawling loudly in the torn comforter. Gerard quickly seized the opportunity and held her pressing her head into his chest, while resting his on the top of hers.

She fought him off, but he never gave in. Aiden soon gave in to feel of sudden warmth she felt she had been denied for years. Aiden buried her face into his strong chest, pulling him closer by his shirt.

Gerard at last let his tears fall. He thought of nothing but of her, cursing himself wishing for someone to help erase the guilt that lingered in the back of his mind. He had a fair idea of what had happen to her, but he didn’t want to push it.

A frail looking Frank sat on his knees feeling jealously and heartache rise toward Gerard. Frank secretly had loved Aiden but when it came to that day, the day he found out the truth, he didn’t know what to do with himself. He kept denying the fact that the woman he loved loved him back. It was impossible.

When he had hurt her that day, he couldn’t sleep he couldn’t do anything. Trying to call her the next day was painful, and to make things worst, Jaime caught him doing it. He had to cover up. He couldn’t let anyone know he liked her. No one could ever know, and so that’s what he thought.

To see Gerard hold her the way he longed to hold her made his blood boil. Gerard head rested in the opposite direction as they slowly rocked back and fourth.

Afraid, Frank reached out to touch Aiden, pulling backward a few times scared of rejection. As his hand delicately rested on her back, he began to rub gentle circles. Frank moved his hand sceptically up to her head, when she turned quickly staring him in the eyes.

He withdrew in an instant, pulling his hand back to his chest.

Her eyes were soft, filled with sorrow, heartache, pain, but there was something else he couldn’t quite capture. Without wasting anymore precious time, he shifted over holding her hand in his caressing it with his cheek. Frank burst into tears, feeling guilty and worthless throughout.

He then look up again and mouthed before she turned away. “I’m sorry.”