I Will Breathe Fire

I’ll Give Up What I’ve Started

Frank walked out not long after Aiden disappeared. He didn’t go far though. He sat on the front porch with tears drying on his cheek and the broken lilies draped in his hand. He thought of Aiden first, and then thought Gerard. What did Gerard have that he didn’t? Why did all of a sudden Gerard become the good guy?

Just because Frank promised him not to tell Aiden about that night doesn’t make him the better man. Aiden doesn’t know a thing, nor does she suspect. ‘It’s not fair’, he thought. ‘Why do I have to always be the bad guy, while Gerard gets away with everything?’

Frank felt the same destruction Aiden felt in his gut. ‘The woman I love is blinded by lies. But can’t just go up and tell her. She wouldn’t believe me.” Frank’s grip tightened around the flowers as the rage burned. ‘Best friend? Pfft!’

Frank fought back the tears that stung his eyes. He felt the hatred consume him, warming his skin from head to toe. He threw the flowers behind him recklessly, leading it to slide all the way to the front door.

Sticking his right hand in his pocket Frank pulled out a packet of cigarettes and a lighter. At first Frank fumbled with the cigarettes, quickly fixing one in his mouth. But before lighting it up Frank ran his fingers through his hair trying to calm himself down.

Resting his head on his left arm, he lit his cigarette and taking in almost half his cigarette with one deep breath. He held the toxins tightly in his lungs until he was at the point where everything around him darkened from the outside in. With a loud and long sigh he let everything out. Frank felt light headed and rested his head on the post, awaiting the tingling sensation to leave.

Frank wasn’t completely himself lately, but who would be after what had happened. He looked out over fence to the Marlborough’s house and saw the family outside in the front yard. The kids were playing tag happily with a watchful eye of their parents sitting together, hand in hand on the patio. You could tell by their body language, that in their 12 years of marriage, love was still strong.

“What I’d give for Aiden to love me like that,” Frank whispered to himself, letting go of the rage inside of him. He stood up bracing himself with his arm on the post replacing rage with fear and anxiety. He loved her more than anything and wasn’t prepared to let her go.

“I didn’t want this to happen, not ever.”

Frank’s biggest fear was losing Aiden and today was the day his fears came true. He began to shake slightly, feeling it impossible to stand still. He looked down feeling the pressure mound.

“What am I going do?”

A loud cry of pain came from a cross the road. Instinctively Frank turned to see Mrs. Marlborough dashed from her seat to her daughter who was nursing a grazed knee. She comforted her with gentle words, pushing back her daughters ginger hair from her face. Mr. Marlborough wasn’t far behind his Mrs when he turned to his son stand at a distance.

“Gerard!” He ordered with a deep voice. “Come here,”

The little boy did what he was told.

“Did you trip your sister?”

“No father, it was an accident,”

For some reason Frank felt angry.

“No it wasn’t,” the young girl protested.

“Yes it was!” Young Gerard argued. “You were running, then you tripped over my foot.”

“You put you foot out on purpose!”

“No I didn’t!”

“Yes you did! You liar!”

“I’m not a liar, you are!”

“Liar! Liar! Pants on fire!”

“Enough!” Mrs. Marlborough ordered her children. “It was an accident alright, enough. Now both of you apologize and stop fighting.”

It was that easy, it was all over. Gerard was off the hook and the little girl was treated with no justice.

Frank after watching the quarrel cease, saw the glint in the little boy’s eyes and knew he was lying. Frank knew the little boy did it on purpose, and it instantly reminded him of his situation. But not like the little girl, Frank wasn’t going to take losing Aiden lying down. The only way to get Aiden to love him, was if there was no one else left to love but him. Lucky for Frank, that list wasn’t long, there were only two obvious contestants.

But Frank would do anything for her love, even if it would cost him his best friend.

***

Frank had sped off to the mall with loose cash in his pocket and an outrageous smile plastered across his face. It was nearly 8:20 and he had been out with a couple of his friends smoking weed. He sped passed 3 red lights and almost hit an old lady, but Frank didn’t care. He wanted booze and nothing was going to stop him.

Pulling up, he turned into the parking lot and drove slowly into a vacant spot. He drove as sensibly as he could to at least convenience the security guards he was sober. He got out of the car and fixed his leather jacket and brushed back his hair with his fingers. He giggled at the fact that he was higher than a kite, but he needed him those booze he was craving so much for. By this time Gerard was far from thought.

He walked in greeting the security guard as he headed straight for the liquor section. As he walk to the back of the supermarket he felt peoples stares tug at his jacket. He felt eyes pull at his shoulder as if he were hiding something in his chest. Those eyes were hungry and taunted him with every step. Frank began to sweat and his eyes were loose, his breathing was heavy and voices began to speak.

Oh Frankie. Frank, over here!

Everything began to spin and Frank’s patience began to wear. Slowly the rage started to turn.

Frank, why aren’t you looking at me?... What’s that Frankie? What are you hiding?

Frank turned frantically to find no one. He was only 3 isles away from the liquor section, yet he found it hard to keep it together. Things started to take over, really fast. ‘Was it the weed?’ He thought, ‘Did I take too much?’

Frank, Frankie, Franklin… I know what it is your hiding.

He turned around in alarm, knowing exactly what the voices were talking about. They can’t know? What are they talking about? Do they know? Does Gerard know? Does Aiden know? I’m not going to kill him! Am I?

I know you have something to hide Frankie. You’re scared, I can smell it.

Again Frank turned around.

“I have nothing to hide! See!” Frank yelled opening out his jacket and emptying their pockets. “I have nothing! Nothing I tell you!”

In the midst of things a young boy stood motionless in front Frank as he gave him a thing two. Tears lined the little boy’s eyes and he held a packet of gummi bears. When Frank finished screaming his head off, he took out his wallet and throw it at the little boy, hitting him in the stomach.

“Stop following me! Stop calling me! Stop it!”

“Jayden! Hunny are you okay?” A woman called frantically, grabbing a hold of the little boy and holding him tight, giving Frank a grotesque look.

Frank’s eyes widened and found the name she called was similar to Aiden’s. He found it too much for him. First it was young Gerard the liar, and now Jayden - Aiden a victim of Frank, a man without a cause.

“What do you want from me?!” Frank screamed at both of them.

Frank stormed out of the supermarket, feeling anger and worry rise to the surface.