I Will Breathe Fire
Fallen Far From Grace
Time Elapsed
“Aiden,” I heard someone sooth “Aiden?”
“Mm…” I replied lazily stirring a little, feeling a strong sense of pain course through my body. My mind soon came to terms with what had happened and I sprung straight into the air. I found myself in my own bed with sheets over me, but I had gotten up too fast making me feel nauseous.
“Mnnnm…” I mumbled in discomfort diving back into the pillows. “Ah Fuck!” I hissed feeling pain strike the back of my head. “The light for fuck’s sake!” I screamed pointing at the blinds.
As the blinds were closed, I slowly turned around to see Gerard.
“Oh it’s you,” I said in a less enthusiastic voice, my lips felt sore so I brought two fingers to investigate the side. It felt busted and split a centimeter away from the right corner; glued lazily by dried blood.
“We're the fuck were you? Here take this, it'll help with the pain..." Gerard handed me two pills and a botle of water which I gladly devoured. "Anyway, we were looking for you the whole night."
“Try, I walked home.”
“Well at last I found you in time before you bled to death.” He returned before joining me lying on the opposite side of my bed.
I slowly turned to him to see him about to fall off into a deep sleep; I thanked him and with caution pulled the covers over him. I turned over trying to drift off to sleep when Gerard’s hands wrapped around my waist, I froze up not being used to Gerard being so clingy. I lay in his arms sluggishly while he brought himself close to me in a hug.
His warm breath hitting my sensitive skin covering my neck gave me goose bumps, I slowly nuzzled into his body suddenly forgetting about everything else. Lying in his embrace gave me a feeling of security, a feeling that someone still cares, and for once in a long time, I finally feel safe.
Time Lapsed
As my eyes reopened for the second time, I eyed my alarm clock reading the neon lights flashing 3:30 am. ‘Ha? It’s three, in the morning?’ I carefully peered to the side to see a vacant end of my bed and my heart sank. My head isn’t as sore as it was the day before and I felt I could over power it.
Something inside me felt so good. I never knew I had never thought of Gerard as the caring type but to still feel his body linger in mine was the best feeling I had ever felt since I first time I lied eyes on Frank. Which brings me back to reality; I’m going to have to avoid him for the rest of my life, especially after that night.
I still can’t get over the fact that he had the nerve to even go there. He frustrates me more than anything now. I don;t get him, first we're best buddies and then he's all - 'I don't even know her'.
I walked out of my room and walked downstairs to the bathroom turning on the dimlight. I peered over to the tub, looking at the curtain and how it was still drawn from when I had my shower. I took deeper steps in and lean forward onto the white sink.
I looked into the cabinet mirror and stared at my reflection. I blinked a couple of times before feeling that same switch turn off in my head again. My face began to scrunch up and unexpectedly the feeling of anger and rage blinded my better judgment. My grip on the bathroom sink grew tighter and tighter to the point where my knuckles turned white and the veins in my arms began to show without fear.
I felt my teeth grind on itself as I turned the tap on. As the water ran freely down the sink, I cupped the water in my hands and brought my face down into it.
I rested my hands on the sides of the sink after washing my face and refrained myself from looking back into the mirror. Something about myself at this very moment made me snap, it just pissed me off. I eyed the floor as I leaned backward holding onto the stink, then out of nowhere I flip out.
I threw the cleaning products to the sidewall in one movement; I turned to the shower curtain and tore it from the hooks. I kick at the toilet seat and ripped off the cover for the filter. I brought myself to the ground and began to bawl when there was nothing else to lash about.
I screamed at the top of my lungs. I screamed and I screamed and I screamed until my voice turn hoarse. Tears began to form making my eyes feel puffed.
Memories of Dad and I came into view and all the times when I really wanted to cry but never did. I quickly got up from my kneeling position and ran to my room I flick on the power switch for my stereo and pressed play. I wined up the volume to the max and took three steps back letting tears fall freely.
“WE WILL BE LEGENDS!” I screamed as Norma Jean began to blast from the speakers. “We are smashed men, still moving! We’ve tried everything in the book!”
“NO STRANGER TO FAILURE! DEATH WITH A STEADY HEARTBEAT!” My face burned red. I felt like I was on fire but I couldn't shake this feeling of being disgusted with myself. “A WORLD OF HURT! A HEART OF FALSE HOPE!!!”
“WHILE WE THOUGHT THAT WE WE’RE LEARNING HOW TO LIVE! WE HAVE BEEN LEARNING HOW TO DIE! I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN THAT WE WILL BE LEGENDS!!!” I screamed thrashing myself around until I couldn’t scream no more. My tears seemed too impossible to hold onto, dividing my face in clear wet lines.
The music thumped hard in my ears but I didn’t care. I never knew what was passed my exterior, I never knew I kept so much hurt inside. I never bothered to look.
And now, I don’t think I can stop.
“Aiden,” I heard someone sooth “Aiden?”
“Mm…” I replied lazily stirring a little, feeling a strong sense of pain course through my body. My mind soon came to terms with what had happened and I sprung straight into the air. I found myself in my own bed with sheets over me, but I had gotten up too fast making me feel nauseous.
“Mnnnm…” I mumbled in discomfort diving back into the pillows. “Ah Fuck!” I hissed feeling pain strike the back of my head. “The light for fuck’s sake!” I screamed pointing at the blinds.
As the blinds were closed, I slowly turned around to see Gerard.
“Oh it’s you,” I said in a less enthusiastic voice, my lips felt sore so I brought two fingers to investigate the side. It felt busted and split a centimeter away from the right corner; glued lazily by dried blood.
“We're the fuck were you? Here take this, it'll help with the pain..." Gerard handed me two pills and a botle of water which I gladly devoured. "Anyway, we were looking for you the whole night."
“Try, I walked home.”
“Well at last I found you in time before you bled to death.” He returned before joining me lying on the opposite side of my bed.
I slowly turned to him to see him about to fall off into a deep sleep; I thanked him and with caution pulled the covers over him. I turned over trying to drift off to sleep when Gerard’s hands wrapped around my waist, I froze up not being used to Gerard being so clingy. I lay in his arms sluggishly while he brought himself close to me in a hug.
His warm breath hitting my sensitive skin covering my neck gave me goose bumps, I slowly nuzzled into his body suddenly forgetting about everything else. Lying in his embrace gave me a feeling of security, a feeling that someone still cares, and for once in a long time, I finally feel safe.
Time Lapsed
As my eyes reopened for the second time, I eyed my alarm clock reading the neon lights flashing 3:30 am. ‘Ha? It’s three, in the morning?’ I carefully peered to the side to see a vacant end of my bed and my heart sank. My head isn’t as sore as it was the day before and I felt I could over power it.
Something inside me felt so good. I never knew I had never thought of Gerard as the caring type but to still feel his body linger in mine was the best feeling I had ever felt since I first time I lied eyes on Frank. Which brings me back to reality; I’m going to have to avoid him for the rest of my life, especially after that night.
I still can’t get over the fact that he had the nerve to even go there. He frustrates me more than anything now. I don;t get him, first we're best buddies and then he's all - 'I don't even know her'.
I walked out of my room and walked downstairs to the bathroom turning on the dimlight. I peered over to the tub, looking at the curtain and how it was still drawn from when I had my shower. I took deeper steps in and lean forward onto the white sink.
I looked into the cabinet mirror and stared at my reflection. I blinked a couple of times before feeling that same switch turn off in my head again. My face began to scrunch up and unexpectedly the feeling of anger and rage blinded my better judgment. My grip on the bathroom sink grew tighter and tighter to the point where my knuckles turned white and the veins in my arms began to show without fear.
I felt my teeth grind on itself as I turned the tap on. As the water ran freely down the sink, I cupped the water in my hands and brought my face down into it.
I rested my hands on the sides of the sink after washing my face and refrained myself from looking back into the mirror. Something about myself at this very moment made me snap, it just pissed me off. I eyed the floor as I leaned backward holding onto the stink, then out of nowhere I flip out.
I threw the cleaning products to the sidewall in one movement; I turned to the shower curtain and tore it from the hooks. I kick at the toilet seat and ripped off the cover for the filter. I brought myself to the ground and began to bawl when there was nothing else to lash about.
I screamed at the top of my lungs. I screamed and I screamed and I screamed until my voice turn hoarse. Tears began to form making my eyes feel puffed.
Memories of Dad and I came into view and all the times when I really wanted to cry but never did. I quickly got up from my kneeling position and ran to my room I flick on the power switch for my stereo and pressed play. I wined up the volume to the max and took three steps back letting tears fall freely.
“WE WILL BE LEGENDS!” I screamed as Norma Jean began to blast from the speakers. “We are smashed men, still moving! We’ve tried everything in the book!”
“NO STRANGER TO FAILURE! DEATH WITH A STEADY HEARTBEAT!” My face burned red. I felt like I was on fire but I couldn't shake this feeling of being disgusted with myself. “A WORLD OF HURT! A HEART OF FALSE HOPE!!!”
“WHILE WE THOUGHT THAT WE WE’RE LEARNING HOW TO LIVE! WE HAVE BEEN LEARNING HOW TO DIE! I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN THAT WE WILL BE LEGENDS!!!” I screamed thrashing myself around until I couldn’t scream no more. My tears seemed too impossible to hold onto, dividing my face in clear wet lines.
The music thumped hard in my ears but I didn’t care. I never knew what was passed my exterior, I never knew I kept so much hurt inside. I never bothered to look.
And now, I don’t think I can stop.