Summer Flings

“This is boring, I don’t get why our parents come over here at noon, and decided to FINALLY start the party around midnight.” Lisa sat on the bed, twirling around random things in her hands.

I agreed with a small nod, “This is gay.”

She suddenly sat up with a smile on her face, indicating that she thought of something. “Hurry! Grab two pairs of shorts from your closet!”

I wanted to question her but then decided I didn’t want to know, so I heaved myself from my comfortable position in my desk chair and trudged to my closet, “Abercrombie short shorts? Or like, Old Navy jean shorts?” I asked whilst rummaging through the closet.

“Abercrombie.” She replied. I grabbed two pairs and threw one to her. “And two hoodies, about the same colors.” I went back through my closet and pulled out one of my navy blue hoodies with Reebok on it and threw it to her again, grabbing myself a Navy Blue one from the track team.

We changed into both things in the same room. In gym we change next to tons of girls anyway.

“And the point?” I asked once we were changed and put our hair up. Lisa’s was in a high, small, straightened ponytail since she cut her hair to shoulder length. Mine on the other hand, was a huge ass curly bun on the top of my head.

She threw me a pair of socks. One was pink, the other blue. Hers the same. I put them on as she did so. “We will go outside on a walk.” She replied.

“It’s Buffalo, New York. If we don’t get raped, we’ll get murdered.” She laughed at this.

“It’s a safe town.” She reminded me, it felt kind of weird since it was my town and she was the one living in New York City.

I nodded, “Let’s go!” She started towards the door. “Wait.” I looked around and my eyes caught the window at the back of my room. “Our parents will see us if we leave through the front door. Plus, this is only the second story. Then we can sneak behind the house and onto the path leading around the golf course behind the house.”

Lisa nodded, a grin appearing at her friend’s plan of action. “I’m going first.”

I rolled my eyes and stepped back, letting her go. She flawlessly climbed down. I stepped one foot out of the window, then the other, holding onto the ledge from the outside so hard, I swear my fingers left marks. I grabbed a deep breath and let go, my legs falling straight on the ground. Standing up, I turned around towards the street.

“What the hell are those?” I squinted at the white specks in the street. As we came closer to them it was obvious what they were, tampons and condoms. Scattered in clumps down the street.

Lisa burst out in laughter and walked closer, picking a packaged condom up, throwing it at me. I screeched as it hit my cheek and burst into continuous laughter along with her.

A car came down the street and we moved from the middle, standing at the sides. My cheeks were red and I watched as the car slowed down as it passed us by. A guy leaned his head a bit form the window, “Hey, can I have your number?” He called out as they drove by. Lisa slapped my butt teasingly and I watched as the car drove off again and another wave of laughter hit me.

“His voice sounded so familiar…” I talked to myself after the laughter inside of me died down. Shrugging, I walked down the street after Lisa. “Where are we going?”

“On a walk.”

She led me to the golf course, the pebbles on the street hurting the bottoms of our feet as we were only in socks. Lisa stopped for a second and then dashed down the dark golf course. I followed her lead and my feet felt relief as they were on soft grass instead of sharp little pebbles.

“This feels so good.” I sighed after we slowed down to a walk. The only thing we could tell apart in the pitch black was the road of cement leading down the course, next to the back yard of all the homes on her street. Just as Lisa nodded, a huge shadow right next to us moved and growled. She screamed and dashed off, me silently speeding after her in fear, afraid to make noise. The thing followed us, footsteps beating against the ground behind us.

If this were a normal basis, my feet would have been tired and I would have stopped running, gasping for breath. But it wasn’t. My legs just kept on going, fearing the thought of stopping and being attacked. We sprinted down the dark path and zipped past dark houses, pounding still coming from behind us, followed by maniacal laughter. Lisa sobbed from behind me and my throat clogged up. Everything flashed by in a blur, and the pounding came faster, and from closer behind us.

I was sure that the end for us was near until I saw the lit backyard of my house in front of us down the horizon. My legs pumped faster, ignoring the isolating pounding form behind us. “Lisa, house is right there. We’re doing well. Sprint it all out.” I gasped between my deep heaving breaths. From the dark, I could see the outline of her head moving as fearful sobs still emitted from her.

We made it. I don’t know how. But we did. I was in front of her as I jumped onto the grass, sprinting into my backyard and opening the door to the balcony on the outside, hopping in. She rushed past me and I slammed it shut, locking it. I dreaded looking out but still did. A shadow from behind the bushes farther in the backyard stood straight and soon disappeared.

Sobs that threatened to escape were now flowing out of my like lava does from a volcano. Lisa’s came from next to me and she slid to the ground, covering her face with her hands. I leaned against the kitchen wall and swallowed hard, my stomach nor throat allowing the action. I wrapped my hands around my stomach and sobbed, tears of fear riding down my cheeks.

The music from the party in the main part of the house was heard fully. Our parents didn’t notice us being gone or sobbing, tranquilized in fear in the kitchen. Laughter was heard along with a deep voice over the pounding music from the 80’s. Not wanting to know who it was and minding my own problems, I pulled closer to Lisa, hugging her tight.

“Caitlin! Come here, you’ll never guess who it is!” My mom yelled from the room.

“N-no! Mom I-I can’t. I’m going up t-to my room!” I called back, my voice failing to hide my inner emotions. I stood on shaky legs and pulled Lisa up, supporting on each other as we walked up to my room, turning on the lights and closing the door behind us. She sat on my bed, still sobbing, and I stood on jelly-like legs, slamming the window shut and locking it, putting the blinds and curtains down. I turned on all lights in the room and shut every closet and drawer.

“Oh my god, Caitlin.” Lisa’s voice cracked as she spoke, wrecked from all the dry sobs. I just nodded, understanding what she meant with that one phrase.

A knock came on my door. Lisa froze and stooped moving and making any noise while my back stiffened. The door opened and Lisa screamed. I hushed her down and grabbed the bat which was under my bed, prepared for anything.

“Holy crap!”

I stared at the adorable blonde boy who had just spoken and he stared back at me. The bat dropped from my hands, thudding on the floor. “PATRICK!” I screamed, my voice cracking. I ran up to him and hugged him tightly, bouncing up and down with joy.

“Holy crap!” I exclaimed as I touched his arms. “You have muscle! Holy crap!” I exclaimed again, still in his embrace. “The NHL has buffed you up! I always remembered you as the wimpy white kid from the house next to mine!” I teased.

Patrick laughed and soon his eyes widened as he stopped laughing. “You're the girls from the street!”

I froze too. “You’re the idiot who called out for my number!”

Patrick scowled. He looked over my shoulder, still holding me in a loose embrace. I recalled all the summer flings we had together. Whenever he got back from a season in the NHL since 2007, and back here to his hometown in Buffalo, we’d have a summer fling that would end after he got drafted back to Chicago again. Summer fling. Nothing else.

“Is that Lisa? What happened to you guys?!” He looked over at me again and slowly let go, walking over to Lisa and giving her a light hug. “Remember me? Caitlin’s neighbor?”

Lisa’s voice cracked and trembled, “Yeah I do.”

“Have I put on so much muscle I frighten you guys? You know, I have actually been compared to the incredible hulk by several of my teamma-”

“We just went through a near death experience.” I explained, running a trembling hand through my hair.

Patrick stared at me. “What the fuck happened?”

“We were taking a walk down the golf course down by the back, and some guy chased after us. No doubt a rapist or a murderer.” I explained, my breathing getting started up and short again.

He stared at us for a while, finally deciding we weren’t pulling one over him. “Did you call the cops? What did he do to you? Are you guys alright? What were you thinking?”

“You’re worse than my father.” I grumbled, crossing my arms and looking away.

“Stop trying to change the subject, Caitlin.” He nearly growled out, stepping closer to me.
I stepped closer, my emotions raging due to what I just went through. “It’s my life.”

“That doesn’t mean you can waste it.” Patrick took another step closer, his face clearly livid. I stepped closer again and our faces were only inches apart, both red with anger at each other.

“Guys, stop it!” Lisa exclaimed from her position on the bed. “You haven’t seen each other in what? EIGHT MONTHS. You are the best of friends! Stop it!”

Patrick’s eyes and features softened and then saddened as he realized the fight he was just in which held no reason. I stood there in disbelief. The barrier between the two of us, it was just so- thick. And it was just there. I didn’t feel any emotions for him. I didn’t feel the crush I had for him. I just saw Patrick- and a bash of raging emotions.

My arms that were firmly crossed across my chest now felt loose and numb. Lisa’s mom called something from the living room and the only thing I could make out was ‘Time to go.’ Along with something else I didn’t catch. Lisa slowly stood up and hugged me, pulling away and wiping her make-up. “Sleep well.”

I nodded and watched as she left the room. Patrick and I stood in a thick silence, listening to Lisa’s car start as the guests drove off and away. The silence lasted for a while and the only thing heard was the sound of dishes clinkering together, and my parents moving around downstairs. After a couple of minutes, the sound of hallow footsteps was heard as my parents climbed up the stairs and to their beds- they must have been a bit too free to remember Patrick was still here.

I stood still and soon Patrick’s sigh broke the silence as he broke first. “Caitlin…”

The shaking of my head cut him off. “No, Patrick.” Emotion filled my voice and that’s all he needed to understand.

“Your room hasn’t changed much.” Small talk. So that’s what he was settling for.

“I only use my room to sleep in it.” I replied somewhat shortly, feeling a bit guilty after doing so. He just looked so innocent, so confused to what was going on. I bit my lip and looked up at Patrick. “I hate this.”

He closed his eyes for a second and stepped forward. I stepped back. “No.” I told him steadily, “I hate these summer flings, Patrick!”

He sighed. “Caitlin, you know I can’t do anything about them. It’s my career.”

I felt like bursting. “I know you can’t do anything about them!” I yelled, my voice rising the whole time through.

“Caitlin, quiet down, your paren-” He tried to settle me down, but no use. I was already on an on-going role.

“Patrick, no!” I finally screamed. “I just can’t take this anymore.” I quieted down again. “I can’t take being with you for two or three months over the summer, get close and harbor feelings for you, and then see you playing hockey on the NHL, leaving the building with some girl on your arm. A different girl each time!”

He hung his head in shame but I kept going. “Patrick, do you not understand what this does to me? I can’t TAKE IT anymore! It hurts. It may not hurt you, but it sure as hell does hurt me.”

He went to say something but I cut him off, “Just leave.” I told him coolly, my eyes, moist from tears, glaring at him steadily. Patrick stared back at me, his eyes burning, and finally he walked past me, shoulder hitting mine slightly. He shut the door behind him.

Right as he left the house, to his just next door, my courageous stance broke and I finally slid to the floor, sobbing. No. It wouldn’t go down like this.

I stood up on legs that felt like they weighed one hundred pounds each. The way down the stairs felt numb, and my eyes lingered on the door, expecting Patrick to be back. But he wouldn’t be. And I knew that.

My emotions started to overwhelm me, and I pushed them away with as much mental strength as I could. I don’t know what led me there, but something did. I opened the balcony door without fear, knowing that whatever- or in this case- whoever- chased Lisa and I down, might still be out there, hiding in the bushes.

I stepped out, the flip-flops that I had slid on last minute stepping on the grass. I looked around at the dark shadows of the backyard with a feeling of apathy. My insides calmed down as I stepped onto the trampoline in the backyard, my feet bouncing on the rubber and rebounding right away. The wind in my hair made me feel free- like a bird.

Something moved in the shadows and I stopped cold. My fists closed tightly, prepared for anything coming my way. But what really did come my way- I wasn’t prepared for at the time. Anything but that.

“It’s just me.” I recognized the voice as Patrick’s and relief flooded over me, soon replaced by anger.

“What are you doing here?” I asked him coolly.

“Caitlin,” He sighed, and I felt my heart beat pick up pace. “I’m not here to fight with you.”

“Then what are you here for?”

“Just come with me.”

I hesitated for a while, but soon gave in and got off the trampoline, slipping my flip flops back on. I followed Patrick to his car- knowing that if I asked questions, he wouldn’t answer. So that wasn’t an option. I got into the passengers seat and buckled my seat-belt, still no clue to where we were going at one in the morning.

“Do you remember how we first met?”

I nodded, “I was at the ice-rink, waiting with my dad so that I could skate around with him like we normally did on Saturday’s, and you were having one of your junior games there.” I was still confused about why he was asking me this.

Patrick nodded slightly, “Mmhm. Then after the game you skated right out, even though we were still on ice- and we collided.”

I laughed slightly, a smile slightly curving the corners of my lips at the memory. The car came to a stop and Patrick turned it off, taking the keys out of the ignition. He opened his door and got out, coming around the side and opening my door.

I raised an eyebrow, but nonetheless, unbuckled my seatbelt and cautiously got out. Patrick put his arm around my shoulder, and held my hand with his other arm as he led me into a building which I couldn’t quite make out in the darkness of one in the morning. The place his arms were around me left a trail or warmth that I couldn’t shake off.

We entered the building and slight chills hit me. The darkness was over powering, and I stepped onto a slick surface, my flip flops sliding. Was it cement?

I stood uncertainly, slight chills still covering through my body. Patrick’s warmth left me as his arms let go. I stood uncertainly in the middle of the darkness. “Patrick?” I called out, my voice echoing through the strange darkness.

“I’m right here.” The lights turned on, lighting the ice rink. I gaped around it like an idiot. It was the ice rink in which we had first met.

If you, if you could return, don't let it burn, don't let it fade.

Patrick came up from behind me, turning me around slightly and looking down at me, full emotion in his eyes.

“You know I can’t control being drafted back to Chicago.” He told me.

I'm sure I'm not being rude, but it's just your attitude,
It's tearing me apart, It's ruining everything.

I sighed and nodded, “I know. I just wish that you wouldn’t leave and not contact me at all, disappear, and then come back like a burning flame during the summer months. It tears me apart! And you do it every year, every damn year!”

I swore, I swore I would be true, and honey, so did you.
So why were you holding her hand? Is that the way we stand?
Were you lying all the time? Was it just a game to you?

Patrick nodded with a sigh, seeming ashamed of himself, “I know. And I was wrong to do that.”

“And then those girls, you were with a new one every time! Every game I watched, you had a new puck fuck. I don’t even know where we stand now, were those summer flings just games for you? Games to help you pass the time here?”

Patrick put his hands on my waist and stared into my eyes deeply, my chocolate meeting his electrifying sea blue. “Caitlin,” His voice made my insides melt, “Those girls. The reason I didn’t call you was because I was afraid that you wouldn’t want to see me, that it was just a little summer fling to you. And those girls. Caitlin, hear me out, yes, I dated girls. And the reason there were different ones all the time was because each one, even though I didn’t want to, I found myself comparing them all to you. And as it turns out, none of them were like you.”

But I'm in so deep. You know I'm such a fool for you.
You got me wrapped around your finger, ah, ha, ha.
Do you have to let it linger? Do you have to, do you have to,
Do you have to let it linger?

I stared at him for a while, his eyes searching mine, showing every ounce of truth. “Really?” I choked out. Patrick nodded eagerly, showing nothing but truth. I bit my lip and raised my hands in frustration, breaking the stance between us.

“I’m on ice in flip-flops, standing here with you, even though I know that you will be gone in three months without contact again.” I laughed bitterly. “I’m doing all of this for you, why? I’m a fool for you, a complete and utter fool.”

Patrick came up closer to me, “Caitlin, it doesn’t have to be what it was this year or for any of the other years.”

“Old habits are hard to break.” I told him bitterly, looking up at his face which was only inches from mine.

“Caitlin, I love you.”

I froze. “D-did you j-just say...”

Patrick nodded, sure of himself as he came closer to me. “Caitlin, I love you.” He repeated. I couldn’t believe the words that had just come out of his mouth. Joy filled my body and I looked back at him.

“And when this summer ends and you leave again?” I demanded, despite the happiness overwhelming me inside.

Patrick brought his arm to the back of my head, gently keeping it there as he brought his lips even closer to mine. “Move in with me.”

“Move in with you?” I asked, the idea seeming ridiculous. “To Chicago?”

“You’re turning 18 in a month- that’s old enough to be an adult and make your own decisions.” Patrick told me reasonably.

And I'm in so deep. You know I'm such a fool for you.
You got me wrapped around your finger, ah, ha, ha.
Do you have to let it linger? Do you have to, do you have to,
Do you have to let it linger?

“And I could go to college there in Chicago...” This was it. I fell for him again; I was actually going along with this.

“And you’d be there to support me through all my games, and be there for me to come home to after each game, and tell you how much I love you.”

“You’re not lying, are you.” I stated after a while of silence, his lips still close to mine.

“I would never.”

I searched Patrick’s eyes for a longer while. “And I love you, Patrick Kane.” I finally stated, the words feeling so wonderful, flowing out of my mouth.

I smiled as he took me into his arm fully, filling my body head to toe with warmth as he kissed me.

You know I'm such a fool for you.
You got me wrapped around your finger, ah, ha, ha.
Do you have to let it linger? Do you have to, do you have to,
Do you have to let it linger?